Ned's discriminatory hall of incessant belittling

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 2:56 pm

Inspired by wraithlord's thread and witty flame (@ yours truly), I've decided to open a new pub which will subject all patrons to written abuse.

Presently, we are accepting applications. Qualifications include an appetite for fine spirits and a willingness to deride others. If you've been down on your luck lately, this could be the opportunity you're looking for. We're hiring right now for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd shift.

Of course, we'll be serving alcohol here, lots of it. It will mostly be reserved be employees so we can get the best out of them while they're on the clock. We look forward to doing our best to put you down.

Morlock · Post by **Morlock** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 3:07 pm

I think there should a rule- only one tavern like thread per day!

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 3:09 pm

Overruled

Morlock · Post by **Morlock** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 3:12 pm

Originally posted by Bloodstalker
Overruled

This coming from a guy who has one of the biggest lies ever to hit SYM in his signature.

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 3:13 pm

@Morlock,

Are you still bitter about that underage comment.

@BS,
does that mean you're applying for a job.

@aegis,
I'm not trying to steal your business. In fact, I write this sitting in your canuck tavern drinking a guiness.

Rob-hin · Post by **Rob-hin** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 3:16 pm

Originally posted by Ned Flanders
Presently, we are accepting applications. Qualifications include an appetite for fine spirits and a willingness to deride others. If you've been down on your luck lately, this could be the opportunity you're looking for. We're hiring right now for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd shift.

Nah, I'll stick to drinking!

Garcon! One ale please. .....ow wait, there is not service just yet. I'd better help myself.

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 3:19 pm

Step back, hamster. We don't serve your kind.

Your going to have to do some laps in the hamster wheel before you'll get a beverage.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 3:27 pm

This place is beginning to appeal to me

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 3:45 pm

You basterds! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elder berries! I shall get you back!

Vivien · Post by **Vivien** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 3:46 pm

Originally posted by Rob-hin

Nah, I'll stick to drinking!

Garcon! One ale please. .....ow wait, there is not service just yet. I'd better help myself.

*being that hamsters are cute furry animals, Viv sneaks Rob-hin a drink*

(sneaking in that blatant way right under Ned and BS' noses)

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 3:48 pm

You just know you are cute and can get away with it Viv.

Besides, my vengence card is full up at the moment.

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 3:51 pm

Viv! I'm dissapointed in you! you come to Ned's bar, but bypass the Canuck... I thought we had something...

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 3:59 pm

You spend a lot of time in here Aegis, whats the deal? you serving watered down liquor in your bar?

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 4:17 pm

No he's not. I'm getting plenty drunk there presently. Why drink my own stash when aegis is giving it away.

Oh Viv, you're going against the theme of the bar. Perhaps we'll let you work with BS for a while. And please, escort Aegis out before we strap him to the Rack. He hasn't applied for a job and has his own business to run (btw aegis, your bathrooms are far too far from the bar, thankfully you have pitchers)

Nightmare · Post by **Nightmare** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 4:29 pm

Originally posted by Ned Flanders
(btw aegis, your bathrooms are far too far from the bar, thankfully you have pitchers)

*stares blankly*

That.......that wasn't a drink?! Uh-oh..........

*runs to the bathroom*

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 4:32 pm

He must have enjoyed it, he is running to the bathroom for more it seems.

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 4:35 pm

that's the spirit BS, you're hired. Of course, no one saw that coming. Welcome aboard 'chief taunter'. Now go away, you smell as if you haven't bathed in weeks.

Anybody out there need a hug. Don't forget to get yourself a drink.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 4:38 pm

It ain't me, Buzzy has been following me around over at Aegis's place. He really needs to bath that bear.

Yeah, it was kinda obvious, wasn't it? I thought....nah, I won't do it, it is too easy, then figured what the hell?

Nightmare · Post by **Nightmare** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 4:39 pm

*runs back out*

Jeez, Ned, you don't have flushies?! Whats up wit that?

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Thu Apr 11, 2002 4:44 pm

Sorry Gaxx, the men's room is over on page 5 right now. I'd recommend using the ladies room. They're always cleaner and the wall graffiti is always more graphic.