C Elegans' couch

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 4:45 pm

Dear fellow SYM:er,

Are you unhappy or dissatisfied with life? Do you have a problem that seems impossible to solve? Are you pondering questions about your person, your relationships or life in general? Or are you just ruminating the what meaning your futile existance might have?

Welcome to my SYM practice, lie down at the velvet couch and feel free to pour your mind and heart to the SYM-shrink(tm).

Free electrocuting is of couse included

Everything you say may of course be used to ridicule and embarrass you.

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 4:50 pm

Several to start with:

I have had this terrible itching, is there any cure apart from "The Clinic"

I have heard that 6 is an average, what should i be comfortable with...as a man

If i start out at 4:30pm how long would it take me to get to Cornwall?

What will happen tomorrow if i don't go to bed and get some sleep?

...and you expected me to be serious

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 4:54 pm

Originally posted by C Elegans
Dear fellow SYM:er,
Welcome to my SYM practice, lie down at the velvet couch and feel free to pour your mind and heart to the SYM-shrink(tm).

Free electrocuting is of couse included

Everything you say may of course be used to ridicule and embarrass you.

Hello Dr. CE.

Today wasn't a good day. On the way home from work my car runs hot..(10 miles either way to the nearest gas station). So I do what any normal person would..went down a twenty foot embankment to a pond and carried water back and forth. (In a 20 oz. 7 up bottle...this was after I took and beat the termostat out)

More bad news most likely coming later.

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 4:55 pm

Well, I'm afraid that if I sit down on the couch, I may not want to get up...

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 5:03 pm

Originally posted by Aegis
Well, I'm afraid that if I sit down on the couch, I may not want to get up...

You're not supposed to sit, you are supposed to lie down and relax while I sit in this armchair right beside you.

I'll be back in a minute...

Gwalchmai · Post by **Gwalchmai** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 5:04 pm

Oh! It says "couch"! Sorry. Miss-read that.

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 5:18 pm

Originally posted by Mr Sleep
I have had this terrible itching, is there any cure apart from "The Clinic"

An itch you can never scratch? You must learn to tolerate frustration, see this as a learning opportunity.

I have heard that 6 is an average, what should i be comfortable with...as a man

6, 6 times a week is good

If i start out at 4:30pm how long would it take me to get to Cornwall?

Like all true psychologists, I must reply with "it depends". By foot, it should take no more than two weeks, allowing for a few pubnights on the way.

What will happen tomorrow if i don't go to bed and get some sleep?

...and you expected me to be serious

Nothing much, since it's Friday tomorrow it might spare you the energy consuming search for party drugs - sleep deprivation commonly induces euphoria and hallucinations. (Might take up to a week though).

Of course I did, aren't you?

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 5:19 pm

Originally posted by Gwalchmai
Oh! It says "couch"! Sorry. Miss-read that.

A little Freudian misread, Gwally?

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 5:22 pm

Re: Re: C Elegans' couch

Originally posted by Weasel
Hello Dr. CE.

Today wasn't a good day. On the way home from work my car runs hot..(10 miles either way to the nearest gas station). So I do what any normal person would..went down a twenty foot embankment to a pond and carried water back and forth. (In a 20 oz. 7 up bottle...this was after I took and beat the termostat out)

More bad news most likely coming later.

Hello mr Weasel,

So you are telling me you actually acted like a "normal person" would? I'm not sure whether this is true improvement or a sign of increasing insanity you are trying to repress.

Looking forward to hear more about your misfortunes. I do however think taking out the termostat and beating it is a fairly understandable, albeit irrational, response.

Gwalchmai · Post by **Gwalchmai** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 5:23 pm

Originally posted by C Elegans
A little Freudian misread, Gwally?

Hmmmm. I may have issues I didn't know I had! Perhaps I should have a go at your, um... "couch" so you can help me?

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 5:28 pm

@Gwally: We cannot know what issues you might have until you open your mind for me. Please lie down at the couch, you may choose which ever you wish although it's preferrable if somebody else is not already lying there. If you wish to share couch with any of my other clients, please do so in the privacy of your own homes. Thank you.

Gwalchmai · Post by **Gwalchmai** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 5:37 pm

Originally posted by C Elegans
@Gwally: We cannot know what issues you might have until you open your mind for me. Please lie down at the couch, you may choose which ever you wish although it's preferrable if somebody else is not already lying there. If you wish to share couch with any of my other clients, please do so in the privacy of your own homes. Thank you.

I'll take the one draped in colored silks and pillows. It looks quite comfortable!

Or would you rather I take the one under your desk? You need to guide me here, I'm new to this treatment....

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 5:41 pm

Originally posted by Gwalchmai
I'll take the one draped in colored silks and pillows. It looks quite comfortable!

Or would you rather I take the one under your desk? You need to guide me here, I'm new to this treatment....

That's a good choice Gwally, the one under my desk is actually for...ehrm...my personal use.

Now, make yourself comfortable, relax and tell me what's going on in your mind...anything...within the limits of the board rules, that is

Gwalchmai · Post by **Gwalchmai** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 5:54 pm

I'm wondering where Senegal is.

Why is it soccer here, but futbol in Mexico?

If we called it Football, would it be as popular as Football?

Will a vacation in Colorado be fun?

Is my kid really as smart as I think she is, or would putting her in an accelerated school harm her emotional growth?

Is the lottery rigged?

What are all those blue flashing lights at the bottom of my computer screen?

Look at the time!

Oops, I need to pick up the kids.

If soccer isn't popular here in the states, then why is there a whole group of people who call themselves "soccer moms"?

Must dash! Thanks, doc, for listening! Am I deep, or what?

Chanak · Post by **Chanak** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 5:58 pm

@CE:

I find your analysis to be both shrewd, and rather unnerving. This is good, as the truth is often shrewd and particularly unnerving.

takes a number from the counter, and lies down on a couch next to Gwally...steals a pillow

I think Freud had tunnel vision. I don't think my dissatisfaction with life, or with the GB forum in general (do I have that backwards?

), has much to do with Freud's answer to everything. Gwally might fit the mold, but I don't.

Rather, I am exceedingly paranoid in my relations with others. I am constantly on guard against possible treachery, hidden scheming, and general hush-hush behind the scenes hoop-de-doo. Is this normal? What could possibly be causing it?

For example, I feel that this couch is a set-up.

A set-up to be harpooned like an innocent baleen whale in a northern sea, floundering in agony as gleeful whalers skewer me even more. Even your couch is not exempt from this paranoia.

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 6:27 pm

Welcome here mr Chanak, please lie down and try to avoid making out with Gwally. I believe he is off to pick up his children anyway.

Originally posted by Chanak
I find your analysis to be both shrewd, and rather unnerving. This is good, as the truth is often shrewd and particularly unnerving.

I am a shrewd and unnerving person. You will understand this better, as we become more familiar with each other...

I think Freud had tunnel vision. I don't think my dissatisfaction with life, or with the GB forum in general (do I have that backwards? ), has much to do with Freud's answer to everything. Gwally might fit the mold, but I don't.

I am not a Freudian, on the contrary I prefer contemporary therapy methods, especially those that include totally subjective, arbitrary and entertaining interpretations of clients. If you are dissatisfyed with the GB forum, just leave you @#$ moron!

Rather, I am exceedingly paranoid in my relations with others. I am constantly on guard against possible treachery, hidden scheming, and general hush-hush behind the scenes hoop-de-doo. Is this normal? What could possibly be causing it?

For example, I feel that this couch is a set-up. A set-up to be harpooned like an innocent baleen whale in a northern sea, floundering in agony as gleeful whalers skewer me even more. Even your couch is not exempt from this paranoia.

This is not normal. Especially your paranoia regarding my couch is abnormal and demonstrate a severely disturbed, perhaps even dangerous mind. In fact, you seem to be the first suitable candidate for electrocution. Don't worry, you will loose consciousness, so it will not hurt. Also, you will not remember it afterwards, so there's no need to worry.

Happy happy joy joy

thantor3 · Post by **thantor3** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 6:29 pm

Originally posted by Chanak
@CE:
I am constantly on guard against possible... hush-hush behind

Not a bad idea, considering you are on a couch with Gwally.

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 6:41 pm

Originally posted by thantor3
Not a bad idea, considering you are on a couch with Gwally.

ROFLMAO

Dottie · Post by **Dottie** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 6:44 pm

*takes a seat on the couch and rock nervously from side to side*

Ehm.. Lately I feel I have been delibrately tormented by two women around here. While they pretend they act in my interest I get the feeling that they are always trying to embarrass or humiliate me. I can tell they frame thier faces for all occasions, So im never sure how they will behave. One minute they actually seem to care about me, while the next they are accusing me of stalking them. Im not really sure what to do about this and I will be very gratefull for any help.

Georgi · Post by **Georgi** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 6:49 pm

Originally posted by thantor3
Not a bad idea, considering you are on a couch with Gwally.

@CE I think you should analyse Thantor. He has a preoccupation with Gwally...

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