There are certain days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and the kitchen knives start flying.
Here is how to navigate the perilous waters while dealing with your better half at that difficult time (I’ve gotten this guide from a friend of mine):
Dangerous: What’s for dinner?
Safer: Can I help you with dinner?
Safest: Where would you like to go for dinner?
Ultra-safe: Here, have some wine.
Dangerous: Are you wearing That?
Safer: You sure look good in brown!
Safest: WOW! Look at you!
Ultra-safe: Here, have some wine.
Dangerous: What are you so worked up about?
Safer: Could we be overreacting?
Safest: Here's my paycheck.
Ultra-safe: Here, have some wine.
Dangerous: Should you be eating that?
Safer: You know, there is a lot of apples left.
Safest: Can I get you a piece of chocolate?
Ultra-safe: Here, have some wine.
Dangerous: What did you DO all day?
Safer: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
Safest: I've always loved you in that robe!
Ultra-safe: Here, have some wine.
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For the record: Wal-Mart wine won't cut it, you cheapskate. Unless a huge diamond is to be found in the glass.
