The Weirdest Thing You Have Ever Seen...

[Chanak]

I couldn't think of a better title for this thread. I was posting in fable's "Make fat, not War" thread and thinking about the odd and ridiculous things I had witnessed during my time in the military. It occurred to me that everyone has had similar experiences...weird coworkers, odd pets, psycho significant others, etc...and I admit, I'm interested in reading about it. Post your weird stories here. I'll kick it off with one of my own. Bear with me since the setting is a big part of the story.

Fort Jackson, South Carolina, July 1989

It was a scorching summer evening, and my Basic Training barracks was like a sauna. No AC, just oppressive, humid heat. And mosquitoes. Lots of them. Myself and another poor sap had the misfortune of being on Firewatch and runner duty for our Senior Drill Sergeant that night. It was his last training cycle as a drill sergeant before he retired, so needless to say, he would often amuse himself at trainees' expense. This could be hilarious at times. This particular night would be no exception.

A fight broke out amongst the trainees on the other side of the barracks in Bravo Platoon's area (for reference, we were Alpha Platoon). I woke up Sergeant First Class Sledge (yep, that was his name) and informed him of the ruckus. Taking his military issue flashlight, he inserted the red lens and stormed into Bravo Platoon's area. 10 minutes went by of eerie silence...when suddenly SFC Sledge yelled at me and my compadre to come outside to the courtyard in front of the barracks. What we saw when we emerged into the night air almost caused me to lose complete control...

SFC Sledge had the entire Bravo Platoon standing in formation in front of the barracks. They were each wearing their issue gas masks, carrying their M-16s, wearing their issue gray t-shirts, gray gym shorts, green boot socks and shiny low quarter shoes. Around their waists on a web belt were canteens. On their backs were rucksacks.

SFC Sledge looked at me and my buddy. "Privates," he said very solemnly, "don't ever forget what you are seeing this night. This is justice. Mil-i-tary justice!" He turned to Bravo Platoon. "Right Face! Forward March!"

As they marched, he had them sing this cadence over and over (naturally it was muffled inside of their gas masks, but it was still clearly audible): "I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner...so everyone could take a bite of me."

This went on for the rest of our shift, until the sun began to rise outside. As soon as SFC went back into his office, myself and my compadre began to laugh so hard we rolled on the floor crying.

[dragon wench]

ROFL! :laugh:

I'm not sure this is the weirdest thing I've ever seen, but it was definitely surreal...

A few years ago I was walking around the Yale Town/West End border of Vancouver. For those who don't know, this area is at an odd intersection between trendy, gay/alternative and divey.
Anyway, as I was crossing the street a guy was walking toward me from the other direction... it was one of those rare occasions when I actually wished my cell phone had come equipped with a camera..
The fellow in question was strolling nonchalantly along carrying a fully inflated, naked, anatomically correct blowup doll... What made it so amusing, though, was that he was carrying the thing in much the same manner as one might transport a briefcase. It (she?) was neatly tucked beneath his arm, and he was calmly sauntering up the street, looking for all the world as though he was on his way to a business meeting.