Poll: Best Female NPC Body? (you may be surprised)

EMINEM · Post by **EMINEM** » Thu May 03, 2001 10:44 am

Let me explain my choice through process of elimination:

Aerie: Undeniably pretty, but from the neck down she's Ally McBeal. What's worse, due to Arvariel aerodynamic evolution, her breasts are even smaller. If that isn't enough to keep her out of Playboy, the stumps of flesh on her back certain will.

Mazzy: Undersized and possessed of a Dwarf's musculature. Not in a million years.

Viconia: A strong contender, but like Aerie, Viconia is damaged goods: her ebony skin is pockmarked with scar tissue from numerous ritual beatings by tentacle rod and other drow instruments of torture.

Jaheira: Because of her half-elven heritage, Jaheira's breasts are not fully developed, and her body is interlaced with battle scars. Also due to her mixed blood, her long human legs are at odds with her small elvish torso, making her look like a Japanese anime cartoon.

Imoen: Her tomboyish mind hosts a tomboyish body (or is it vice versa?). Her trials along the Sword Coast, forays into matters arcane, and recent torture by Irenicus, have also taken their toll.

Which leaves us with... Nalia D'Arnise.

Spoiled since birth, pampered to adulthood, fed the best food, bathed in perfume, clothed in silk, and stays in shape by serving the poor. Nalia is a pure, unblemished specimen of womanhood.

Those who disagree - go watch her replica (Drew Barrymore) in Charlie's Angels.

[ 05-03-2001: Message edited by: EMINEM ]

Drakron Du´Dark · Post by **Drakron Du´Dark** » Thu May 03, 2001 10:46 am

Two words...

SEEK HELP.

Craig · Post by **Craig** » Thu May 03, 2001 11:05 am

mazzy her body is a (pleasing) optical illosion she is uder sized so her breasts seam EXTRA large

scully1 · Post by **scully1** » Thu May 03, 2001 11:28 am

You don't find scars attractive, eh EMINEM? I think scars can be very attractive, depending on how one obtains them. They can be a mark of courage and honor, of survival and strength. Especially in the context of this game -- battling evil for a cause one believes in (or battling goodness could I suppose be attractive to an evil character...); enduring the tortures of Irenicus which you mention, battling your way out, and living through it...An outward sign of an inward strength. Perhaps it's different from a guy's point of view...

But Nalia will have some scars too after a while in the adventuring life

[ 05-03-2001: Message edited by: loner72 ]

Robin_Hood · Post by **Robin_Hood** » Thu May 03, 2001 1:07 pm

Jaheira...mmm. I believe I've heard that half elves are EXTREMELY beatiful and nearly perfect, so JAHEIRA.

moriveth · Post by **moriveth** » Thu May 03, 2001 3:26 pm

I suggest a different approach. Clearly, a character's charisma and strength correlate with her physical appearance. An analysis of these stats is an objective method patently to be prefered over arbitrary judgments of character portraits and the like.

Nalia has a mere 13 CHR. While admittedly this score (relatively low compared to 16 CON and 18 DEX) has much to do with her incessant whining, it is also clear she cannot be all that you claim her to be. Of the rest of the female NPCs, Nalia can be shown to have a clear advantage over only Mazzy (who, being a halfling, is not worthy of further analysis).

Aerie fares little better than Nalia, with a mere 14 CHR. However, her 10 STR shows her to be a delicate flower of womanhood. Viconia also rates a 14, with similar STR. Each rates similarly to Nalia in sky-high DEX, with Viconia achieving a 19. Yowza!

While Viconia and Aerie may fall far short of the ideal, either must be prefered to the brawny Nalia (14 STR).

Jaheira is another step up the CHR scale, at 15. Considering what a bossy and annoying woman she is, clearly she must be devastating in appearance despite her default character portrait, and her 17 DEX (while falling short of Viconia) in truth leaves little to be desired. But with a substantial 15 STR, while certainly to some tastes, she is clearly too muscular to possess the voluptuous womanly curves of a true beauty queen.

But there remains is a clear favorite, combining the delicacy of Viconia (9 STR, 18 DEX) with superior physical appearance and charisma (16 CHR). All hail Imoen, the apotheosis of womanhood, the Natalie Portman of the Forgotten Realms!

vbarash · Post by **vbarash** » Thu May 03, 2001 8:59 pm

Come to think of it, Nalia's face DOES look somewhat like Drew Barrymore's...

AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHH!!!!! MUST GET AWAY FROM BG2, MUST COME BACK TO REAL WORLD!!!! MUST NOT SIT FOR HOURS AND HOURS HELPING STUPID PEASANTS BECAUSE OF NALIA'S FACE!!!!!!!!

Great topic EMINEM, and good posts all across the board.

Bro'Drake · Post by **Bro'Drake** » Thu May 03, 2001 11:24 pm

This thread is a little bit on the "scary" side of the fence... I think I'll leave now.

*backs up slowly towards the nearest door/window*

rapier · Post by **rapier** » Fri May 04, 2001 12:09 am

Originally posted by Bro'Drake:
This thread is a little bit on the "scary" side of the fence... I think I'll leave now.

*backs up slowly towards the nearest door/window*

Exactly my thoughts...you guys are FREAKS

Loredweller · Post by **Loredweller** » Fri May 04, 2001 12:18 am

Well, men, how about Bodhi?

L.

Dimensional · Post by **Dimensional** » Fri May 04, 2001 2:18 am

Well, men, how about Bodhi?

Yeargh!!

*Runs and hides*

sqeezaf · Post by **sqeezaf** » Fri May 04, 2001 3:52 am

Doubt Viconia is scarred, after all, she was a drow priestess and they usually get their scars removed if their body was damaged, even if the action that caused it wasnt really pleasing Lolth( read the R.A.S. books

)

Loredweller · Post by **Loredweller** » Fri May 04, 2001 4:34 am

Originally posted by Dimensional:
Yeargh!!

*Runs and hides*

but how she moves...

[ 05-04-2001: Message edited by: Loredweller ]

Manveru · Post by **Manveru** » Fri May 04, 2001 4:35 am

Jaheira...mmm. I believe I've heard that half elves are EXTREMELY beatiful and nearly perfect, so JAHEIRA.

After I changed the colour of Jaheira's hair to darker one I could tell you only one thing : Jaheira ! Jaheira ! She is the best one. There is no other choice.
She had also the best portrait in BG1. Almost all my PCs are half-elves ,so it is obvious what is the best choice for them....

Aerie is also the cute one but it is not the same as Jaheira).

Imoen is my PCs sister so such comparisons cannot be taken into account in this case.

Nalia ?! - men, are you kiddin' ?

Mazzy - I don't like small sizes...

Bodhi - Undead woman is really awful.

And finally Viconia - Maybe she is the cute one, but it really doesn't matter in this case - I will kill her:

Manveru : "Now you die , ever pathetic , ever fool - you will suffer....."
Manveru : casts gate
Viconia : In the name of Shar ....
Viconia : Attacks Manveru
Pit fiend : Attacks Viconia
Viconia : nooooooooooo........hhhhhhhhhaaaah
Viconia : death

mwhahahahhahah

Kayless · Post by **Kayless** » Fri May 04, 2001 4:50 am

Originally posted by loner72:
I think scars can be very attractive, depending on how one obtains them. They can be a mark of courage and honor, of survival and strength.

Couldn’t agree with you more. Did anyone here see Lethal Weapon 3? Who needs pick up lines when you can compare scars? Just walk into a local tavern and get cracking! “I’ll see your lash mark and raise you a pike impalement.”

EMINEM, why was Edwina left out of your diagnosis? I’d like to know how she measures up.

“I know all there is to know about the Crying Game…”

[ 05-04-2001: Message edited by: Kayless ]

Hazim ibn Gorion · Post by **Hazim ibn Gorion** » Fri May 04, 2001 12:29 pm

Just gotta throw in my $0.02 on Bodhi. I used her avatar for my evil female monk and noticed two things. 1) I love the way she drums her hands against her thighs when she's standing around, like she's just too cool for Athkatla. 2) When you have her cast a spell with long casting time (in this case, Draw on Holy Might), her body writhes in a fashion that could only be described as pornographic.

vbarash · Post by **vbarash** » Fri May 04, 2001 8:10 pm

@Hazim Ibn Gorion: someone has way too much time on their hands... But that's OK.

It's interesting to compare the relative sex appeal of the BG2 characters with that of EQ ones. In both games, dark elf women are considered the best looking (except for that woman on the EQ box, but that was just a marketing device)

Now what are the differences? I'll leave this one up to discussion (i.e. flaming, but I don;t really care)

Bruce Lee · Post by **Bruce Lee** » Fri May 04, 2001 8:19 pm

You don't get to see what their bodies look like...you can't go by their avatar...not really fair on Mazzy to do that...halflings don't look like that.

cheesemage · Post by **cheesemage** » Fri May 04, 2001 8:47 pm

You people need to get some help,
1. Its a frikkin game
2. THEY ARE NOT REAL
3. You really need to try a different hobby, so the people who play games arent repsented as sterotypes such as your self
Sheesh At Least Drakkon Du Dark Agrees with me

Bruce Lee · Post by **Bruce Lee** » Fri May 04, 2001 9:27 pm

I beg to differ. It is a game and to me this board is almost a part of the game so it is okay to speculate here...just aslong as one can see the difference between real life and bg2...a pity there is a difference