The Kung Fu Lizard Project

cjdevito · Post by **cjdevito** » Tue Jun 11, 2002 9:22 pm

What, you may wonder, would be the single most worthless, powerless, most difficult to play character in Morrowind? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you......

Take an argonian and make a custom class. Give him unarmored, hand-to-hand, and fill the rest of his skill slots with magic skills. Then take a birthsign that doesn't provide any extra mana. I picked 'The Shadow' because it seemed to fit, while being fairly useless

Give him a robe and console in a gondolier's helm for that 'far eastern' look and watch out! 'Cause he's ....almost powerless!

I took my Kung-Fu Lizard out of Seyda Neen to kill a mudcrab. Found a mudcrab and began punching it. Ten minutes later I was level three.... and the mudcrab STILL wasn't dead! Amazing.

I'm determined to actually play this character, hamstringing him in the worst way. Stay posted for the coming two-fisted tales of adventure in.... The Kung Fu Lizard Project! [TM].

Sirius_Sam · Post by **Sirius_Sam** » Tue Jun 11, 2002 9:32 pm

Nice

Here's hoping "Kwai Chang Fang" makes for a fun character

S_S

fable · Post by **fable** » Tue Jun 11, 2002 10:20 pm

I like it. Please, keep us informed of your hero's exploits.

UserUnfriendly · Post by **UserUnfriendly** » Tue Jun 11, 2002 10:23 pm

so what is console code for killer

"kung fu" helm??

I like it!!!

cjdevito · Post by **cjdevito** » Tue Jun 11, 2002 10:48 pm

UU, the helm is "gondolier_helm". It's medium armor, very low armor rating and the only place it's found in-game is on the heads of the gondoliers in Vivec.

Sam...
Here's hoping "Kwai Chang Fang" makes for a fun character

Kwai Chang Fang, indeed. What kind of name is that for an argonian? All the argonians in-game have names like Only-He-Stands-There, Hides-His-Foot and that barrel of fun, Big-Head. So in the tradition of the argonian names used elsewhere in the game, the Kung Fu Lizard is named....(drumroll, please)....

Eats-Crow.

UserUnfriendly · Post by **UserUnfriendly** » Wed Jun 12, 2002 2:13 am

ok, this is NOT a racial stereotype joke,,,,,,,

I AM KOREAN, SO ITS OK....

Eats-fried-Lice!!!

a sorta double entrendre, with lizard referents....

you like???

i think i get helm, and see how high the enchant level is....

make it into a autofire cannon, or do someething creative, and wear around just when jumping....

restricting myself to enchantable items i find in the game, keeps it interesting, so i still need exquisite rings and amulet to get full jumper gear so i can wear helm for jumping....

i was thinking of playing argonian, but liked bound boots too much...

Crosswind · Post by **Crosswind** » Wed Jun 12, 2002 7:11 am

!!!

That hat is BADASS! My leaping lizard must have it!!!!!

-Cross

cjdevito · Post by **cjdevito** » Wed Jun 12, 2002 9:36 am

I think I'm going to refine the kung-fu lizard by starting over. It's occurred to me that there -are- more worthless skills to pick as major/minors.

So, here's the revised custom class:
Majors:
Unarmored
Hand-to-Hand
Armorer (not the best skill under the best of circumstances, but certainly very limited for a character who doesn't wear armor)
Mercantile (bugged skill doesn't even work properly)
Speechcraft (useful, but -far- less useful then a charm spell)

Minors:
Security (almost useless compared to an unlock spell. Additionally, there's no point to him pickpocketing when he can just knock people out and steal from them)
Enchant (He uses no armor and no weapons, and to enchant jewelry he'd be much better off having it done by someone else. Plus it's slow to raise)
Medium Armor (the worst of the armor types, plus he only wears one piece of armor -- the gondolier helm)

And then two useful skills...
Alchemy
Restoration

Both alchemy and restoration are somewhat in-character for a monk, and they're pretty much neccessary just for him to survive.

UserUnfriendly · Post by **UserUnfriendly** » Wed Jun 12, 2002 8:25 pm

actually speech craft is a useful skill, just needs to be high, and will raise personality, which is very use ful....

like
"eats friend lice"?????

cjdevito · Post by **cjdevito** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 9:12 am

Okay. Kung Fu Lizard Project Update:

Last night, I redid the character with the skillset mentioned above. The only change I made was to remove armorer and replace it with sneak. The more I thought about armorer for an unarmored character, the more of a headache it seemed. I'd actually have to wear armor for the sole purpose of getting it beat it so it could be repaired, if I ever wanted to raise the skill. I added sneak for two reasons:
1- He needs some way to get past things he has no chance of fighting.
2- He can't do one-hit-kill criticals.... not when hand-to-hand- affects fatigue, not health.

I picked the Lady for his birthsign this time out.

Ran my character through Seyda Neen with bizaare results. Between a mudcrab and a kwama forager, I gained 20 points in hand-to-hand. That was from legitimately fighting to his utmost to try and kill them, too; not milking the system. Since hand-to-hand damages fatigue before health, I might have to score dozens of hits before I do -any- damage at all. The other thing is that fatigue heals rapidly. I knock the monster down, then get maybe time for three swings that can damage health before it gets back up and I have to knock it down (usually in one to two hits at this point) again and repeat the process.

Two rats then ganged up on me. At this stage fighting two opponents, even weak opponents, simultaneously was impossible. I was forced to retreat.

Went to handle the murder of the taxman quest by confronting the killer. He uses hand to hand as well, and he handed my tail to me - repeatedly. I simply wasn't able to do enough hits to him to knock him down even once before he'd burn through all my fatigue. Finally stocked up on restore fatigue potions before the fight; took four of them to see me through it.

By this point my unarmed was up to around 50 and I'd gained a few levels. This character levels -very- quickly because of hand-to-hand. It requires so many swings that it raises by leaps and bounds. I decided to try killing the murdered taxman's girlfriend. Her place has some nice loot, and she's just a harmless old lady so I figured I could take her. Burned through 3 more restore fatigue potions taking her down.

Went to cavern northeast of town. Was able to take on the dagger wielding dark elf in the first room easily. It seems I have -much- better luck attacking characters who use traditional weapons as opposed to hand-to-hand. I could not take down the mage in the next area, though, so was forced to leave the cavern undone.

Travelled to Balmora and joined mages guild, did all of Ajiras quests and a few of Edwinnas. Between selling potions I made, robbing Galbedir of her soulgems, and selling quest rewards, I made enough cash to train alchemy and enchant into the mid 40's, and to train unarmored to 49. At unarmored 49, I currently have an AC of 14.

And that was as far as I got last night.

flash95 · Post by **flash95** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 10:24 am

great story keep us posted...

what is your strength ?

cjdevito · Post by **cjdevito** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 10:32 am

Strength is in the mid 60's right now. The character has been mostly gaining speed, between hand to hand and unarmored.

Crosswind · Post by **Crosswind** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 1:55 pm

Hrm, I know I've fond at least 2 gloves of fortify 7 hand to hand...where were they...

-Cross

lusipher · Post by **lusipher** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 6:56 pm

The bound right gauntlet is fortify hand-to-hand 10.
So you could do the bound item cheat with that.

A guy in vivec, One you kill for Morag Tong, he gives you a glove that fortifies h-t-h as well, forget where exactly, either elves, or no name's.

cjdevito · Post by **cjdevito** » Thu Jun 13, 2002 9:55 pm

Honestly, there isn't much reason to fortify hand-to-hand... the skill raises so quickly it's insane. I gained another 30 points tonight just by fighting a bunch of rats in the telvanni canton underworks tonight.

My Kung-Fu lizard stumbled across a truly horrifying discover elsewhere in the telvanni canton. I'll get screenshots up tommorrow. For now, all I can say is oh, the humanity!