The fire in my heart is dying
and the zeal I had is gone
This path that I've chosen's a rocky one
Long, hard and frozen it has become
Each turn that I've taken on the way
has only led me back to Hell
I am dying down growing weaker now
It could seem that I'm doing fine
but I'm broken to little pieces deep inside
So sang Sentenced in their song "Broken". By these words, I'm trying to say you all that I'm going to be inactive for undetermined time.and the zeal I had is gone
This path that I've chosen's a rocky one
Long, hard and frozen it has become
Each turn that I've taken on the way
has only led me back to Hell
I am dying down growing weaker now
It could seem that I'm doing fine
but I'm broken to little pieces deep inside
First question you may think to ask is "Why?". There are several reasons, most of them personal ones. First reason, which may be understood the title of this thread is, my passion to post here has gone. You have nothing to do with this, I just feel that I have contributed everything I can to this place. As the only section outside of SYM I have been posting has been Fallout section, and as that section has become really quiet lately, most of all if not every new thread made there has in my part been pointing to old threads, there has been nothing to me to offer there.
Second reason to my coming inactivity can be found in the fact that I've quited both drinking and smoking. As this has made me rather bitter during last week or so, I see no reasons to you be burned by that. This is what the quote at the beginning of the thread is meaning. "It could seem that I'm doing fine / but I'm broken to little pieces deep inside" sums up it completely. Also, as my personal life is rather mess at the moment in other reasons as well, that quote fits in my mood very well.
This post also explains why have lately turned myself to invisible mode.
So, for undetermined time, I'm not going to post here at the GB regulary, if at all. Though I'm still going to check the site, basically for news and questions to Fallout section. Probably won't post either one, though, as especially in case of Fallout, I've noticed that that section is in capable hands. There are lot of members there who knows as much as I do, and usually can offer the help more quickly than I. This inactivity may last weeks, months, in worst case even year or more. I'm just not sure when I get the passion to post here back.
Before I go, I have to say that the community here in GameBanshee is good, friendly, actually the best in any forums I have been posting. There could have nothing of none of you could have done to prevent this, my friends.
I wish you all good luck in future, and I hope I one day, and even soon, will post here again.
I'll leave you all with the following quote from song made by Nightwish, which has had special meaning for me very long time. The song is "Dead Boy's Poem"
"If you read this line, remember not the hand that wrote it
Remember only the verse, songmaker's cry the one without tears
For I've given this its strength and it has become my only strength.
Comforting home, mother's lap, chance for immortality
where being wanted became a thrill I never knew
The sweet piano writing down my life"
"Teach me passion for I fear it's gone
Show me love, hold the lorn
So much more I wanted to give to the ones who love me
I'm sorry
Time will tell (this bitter farewell)
I live no more to shame nor me nor you
And you... I wish I didn't feel for you anymore..."
Remember only the verse, songmaker's cry the one without tears
For I've given this its strength and it has become my only strength.
Comforting home, mother's lap, chance for immortality
where being wanted became a thrill I never knew
The sweet piano writing down my life"
"Teach me passion for I fear it's gone
Show me love, hold the lorn
So much more I wanted to give to the ones who love me
I'm sorry
Time will tell (this bitter farewell)
I live no more to shame nor me nor you
And you... I wish I didn't feel for you anymore..."
