Posted: Fri Aug 13, 2004 7:52 am
The result of the fight between Bob the Pervect & CM vs. Ironhide!
Hm...let me guess. No, it can't be. Another round of exciting, wrestling mania? Ooooh, I'm tingly all over. And not just because Tingle is in the final....HAHAHA! Get it? Tingly...Tingle?
Anyway, a word from our sponsors before we start the fight.
Lords and ladies and foul creatures of the multiverse, I'm proud to present to you our new line of products - Luvatoy's brand new Potion of Romance! That's right, with this here potions, you'll be granted 24 hours to kiss the one you want, and upon kissing him/her/it, they will instantly fall in love (permanently) with you! You heard us. Why buy cheap wine and use cheap talk when you can use the Potion of Romance? Available at your local marketplace. Only 5 gold, 3 silver pieces. Luvatoy's Potion of Romance.
---
Are you tired? Are you lonely? Are you depressed? One item can solve it all for you. The Helm of Happy Thoughts. Designed by one of the greatest psionicists around, it controls your nervous impulses and does not allow a single negative thought to flash before your mind. The days will seem longer and brighter. The trees more colorful and rich. Your fears will wash away. Your life will become meaningful again, and you will smile, even to your greatest bullies. It comes in all sizes and shapes, and at a special offer of 5 monthly payments of 7 gold. No interest charged. Helm of Happy Thoughts. Be happy! Be REALLY happy!
OK, we are back in action! The crowd has gathered around the floating island in their own unique ways. The elves watch from a flying, elven galleon. The gnomes watch from the eyes of a mechanical dragon. The halflings swim around the air with magical levitation. Somehow, someway, all have managed to drag their asses over to our present HIGH location. Don't mind the screams. Some wizards are dispelling the magic flying of the spectators, and it's a long way to the ground...there is a lich killing everyone in sight...but before I drag on too long...LET US START! Bob & CM vs. Ironhide! WOOHOO!
Ironhide and Bob square each other off as the mystical bell rings off in the distance. The golem, in a few steps, and after taking down a tree with his shoulder, comes right by Bob who darts past the golem's slow attacks, running a circle around him while spitting highly corrosive acid at the golem's joints. SIZZLE! HISS! The metal joints weaken and sag with the acid, and the golem loses a great deal of mobility in his arms and legs. This can't be good. The golem responds by opening his mouth and saying, in a deep, booming, mechanical voice 'Hah! You Bob the Demon!'. It can't be. To utter a demon's true name is to hold the key to its banishment. Yes, I know, I studied in a Mage School. But this does not mean anything since simply uttering a name does not result in banishment...but nonetheless, it temporarily froze Bob, giving the golem time to use one huge slam attack on the demon's head, causing it to fall back and nearly tip over the edge! The demon hurries back, 'fluffs' his diamond scales with the piercing tip outwards, and engages the golem in another acid trip. Hah. Acid trip? Get it? Anyway, the scales do little against Ironhide's natural protective armor but the acid resumes its nasty eating away. A black pool of sizzled iron has already formed in the centre of the island. Resorting to using his powerful, natural claw attacks, Bob begins to ply away at the already weakened joints, attempting to immobilize Ironhide. The iron golem manages to get one clumsy blow that crushes the demon's collar bone, but beyond that, seems to be coming to a slow defeat. With a sharp raking of claws at the back of the golem's legs, the golem falls to the ground with a heavy thump.
Bob the demon walks over to stand on top of the golem...when something cold and bony grips his broken shoulder. Only a skeleton. Only a skeleton ARMY! They mass invade the battleground, having no intelligence for anything but simple destruction, and Bob does a splendid job of sending 10 skeletons per second flying at lightning speed out of the island towards Chinatown as he angrily beats on all of them with roundhouse, sweeping, matrix-style kicks. BAM, BAM, BAM! It shall be raining bones today. As soon as most of the skeletons have been cleared...Bob hears the sound of wind coming on top of him. In the meanwhile...the golem has recovered...the skeletons unable to harm him any further.
TO BE CONTINUED!!
![Wink ;)](./images/smilies/)
Hm...let me guess. No, it can't be. Another round of exciting, wrestling mania? Ooooh, I'm tingly all over. And not just because Tingle is in the final....HAHAHA! Get it? Tingly...Tingle?
Anyway, a word from our sponsors before we start the fight.
Lords and ladies and foul creatures of the multiverse, I'm proud to present to you our new line of products - Luvatoy's brand new Potion of Romance! That's right, with this here potions, you'll be granted 24 hours to kiss the one you want, and upon kissing him/her/it, they will instantly fall in love (permanently) with you! You heard us. Why buy cheap wine and use cheap talk when you can use the Potion of Romance? Available at your local marketplace. Only 5 gold, 3 silver pieces. Luvatoy's Potion of Romance.
---
Are you tired? Are you lonely? Are you depressed? One item can solve it all for you. The Helm of Happy Thoughts. Designed by one of the greatest psionicists around, it controls your nervous impulses and does not allow a single negative thought to flash before your mind. The days will seem longer and brighter. The trees more colorful and rich. Your fears will wash away. Your life will become meaningful again, and you will smile, even to your greatest bullies. It comes in all sizes and shapes, and at a special offer of 5 monthly payments of 7 gold. No interest charged. Helm of Happy Thoughts. Be happy! Be REALLY happy!
OK, we are back in action! The crowd has gathered around the floating island in their own unique ways. The elves watch from a flying, elven galleon. The gnomes watch from the eyes of a mechanical dragon. The halflings swim around the air with magical levitation. Somehow, someway, all have managed to drag their asses over to our present HIGH location. Don't mind the screams. Some wizards are dispelling the magic flying of the spectators, and it's a long way to the ground...there is a lich killing everyone in sight...but before I drag on too long...LET US START! Bob & CM vs. Ironhide! WOOHOO!
Ironhide and Bob square each other off as the mystical bell rings off in the distance. The golem, in a few steps, and after taking down a tree with his shoulder, comes right by Bob who darts past the golem's slow attacks, running a circle around him while spitting highly corrosive acid at the golem's joints. SIZZLE! HISS! The metal joints weaken and sag with the acid, and the golem loses a great deal of mobility in his arms and legs. This can't be good. The golem responds by opening his mouth and saying, in a deep, booming, mechanical voice 'Hah! You Bob the Demon!'. It can't be. To utter a demon's true name is to hold the key to its banishment. Yes, I know, I studied in a Mage School. But this does not mean anything since simply uttering a name does not result in banishment...but nonetheless, it temporarily froze Bob, giving the golem time to use one huge slam attack on the demon's head, causing it to fall back and nearly tip over the edge! The demon hurries back, 'fluffs' his diamond scales with the piercing tip outwards, and engages the golem in another acid trip. Hah. Acid trip? Get it? Anyway, the scales do little against Ironhide's natural protective armor but the acid resumes its nasty eating away. A black pool of sizzled iron has already formed in the centre of the island. Resorting to using his powerful, natural claw attacks, Bob begins to ply away at the already weakened joints, attempting to immobilize Ironhide. The iron golem manages to get one clumsy blow that crushes the demon's collar bone, but beyond that, seems to be coming to a slow defeat. With a sharp raking of claws at the back of the golem's legs, the golem falls to the ground with a heavy thump.
Bob the demon walks over to stand on top of the golem...when something cold and bony grips his broken shoulder. Only a skeleton. Only a skeleton ARMY! They mass invade the battleground, having no intelligence for anything but simple destruction, and Bob does a splendid job of sending 10 skeletons per second flying at lightning speed out of the island towards Chinatown as he angrily beats on all of them with roundhouse, sweeping, matrix-style kicks. BAM, BAM, BAM! It shall be raining bones today. As soon as most of the skeletons have been cleared...Bob hears the sound of wind coming on top of him. In the meanwhile...the golem has recovered...the skeletons unable to harm him any further.
TO BE CONTINUED!!