The HBI - Heathen Bureau of Investigation

Demortis · Post by **Demortis** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 5:41 am

*shoots DJ in the forehead with a Tranq dart*
Clean up, isle seven!

Luis Antonio · Post by **Luis Antonio** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 6:27 am

[QUOTE=Demortis]*shoots DJ in the forehead with a Tranq dart*
Clean up, isle seven![/QUOTE]

Demo, no tranquilizer darts, arguments, facts, links, pictures, in a word: Evidence.

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 6:50 am

I see that you have gotten the latest report COMMrade Direktor...

Our agents are all in place as they should be. Must COMMend COMMrade Fas for a job well done.

Of course, let it be known that the existence of the Direktor and the Agency is pure myth and a figment of the High COMM Weasel's imagination.

@Phreddie: Just because the banners of COMM aren't flaunted and waved brazenly doesn't mean COMM is dead.

[QUOTE=Chanak]I believe it is time that I do not make an official statement for the COMM Intelligence Agency (CIA) - which actually does not exist - concerning the "Heathen Bureau of Investigation," which is in actuality a quasi-legimate front for spam laundering. FYI, spam laundering is a captial offense punishable by forced exposure of the duly convicted in a court of COMM to non-stop broadcasts of the unsurpassingly moronic children's icon Barney, until they are legally declared dead by a physician licensed to practice medicine under international waters.

The statement, if it were actually made, would read like this:

"Ahem. I personally have no earthly idea what all this hubub is really about. Apparently, an organization declaring itself as the "Heathen Bureau of Investigation" has established itself as a laughingly transparent, bazooka-joe legalesque front for the abhorrent criminal activity known as Spam Laundering. Be advised that the dossiers on the perpetrators of this front are thick and loaded with the sort of juicy goodies damaging to lives and reputations. The fine citizens of SYM may therefore rest easy, secure in the knowledge that their peacably insane lives in this Asylum are watched over by individuals even more depraved than the perpetrators of this nefarious scheme. Naturally, the skinny on these crooks will be used to blackmail the bejeezus out of them into silent, sullen submission.

I would like to add that this statement was not actually made and is officially denied, since the COMM Intelligence Agency does not actually exist. There's no way of proving that, anyway. Thank you." [/QUOTE]

ch85us2001 · Post by **ch85us2001** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 6:57 am

[QUOTE=Maharlika]@Phreddie: Just because the banners of COMM aren't flaunted and waved brazenly doesn't mean COMM is dead.

[/QUOTE]
They arent waved yet, but just wait till the second COMMing! I mean *cough* not a wannabe COMMie *cough*

@!$0, mahs statements make it clear that COMM is taking responsibility for these actions!

CM · Post by CM » Wed Oct 26, 2005 11:44 am

[QUOTE=ch85us2001]They arent waved yet, but just wait till the second COMMing! I mean *cough* not a wannabe COMMie *cough*

@!$0, mahs statements make it clear that COMM is taking responsibility for these actions![/QUOTE]

Yes yes COMM is at fault and not Fas. Yes that is the proper way to think about it. Its all Weasel's fault.

ch85us2001 · Post by **ch85us2001** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 12:30 pm

[QUOTE=CM]Yes yes COMM is at fault and not Fas. Yes that is the proper way to think about it. Its all Weasel's fault.

[/QUOTE]
Yes but we determined you two have merged to become a "feasel". Either that or the "feasel" is your offspring. So its still your fault!

slade · Post by **slade** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:04 pm

[QUOTE=Luis Antonio]EEExactly. So far we have:

A Radioactive banana that cant be really linked to Fas but is cool

A Picture of monkeys holding bananas
Several threads indicating Fas and his envolvement with evil on SYM
Several threads indicating Fas's love for the peril.

So, anything else? Shall we start building the conspiracy then? Or shall we wait for more... hard evidence?[/QUOTE]

Dont forget my transformation as evidence of his evil actions....

...baaaaaaaaaaaaa

Fiona · Post by **Fiona** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:05 pm

But he's not responsible

slade · Post by **slade** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:10 pm

[QUOTE=Fiona]But he's not responsible

[/QUOTE]

But I need someone to blame....is that so much to ask for...can you blame me...

Phreddie · Post by **Phreddie** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:10 pm

whos to say hes not a COMMie at heart? He could be a spy trying to ge ton the inside, as maharlikha said, just because they arent as visible in the eye of the public as the Heathens doesnt mean that they arent alive. personally i believe that the bananas are a sign, JOIN OR DIE, something like the biblical plagues that signified the exodus of the Jews, this signifyies the return of COMM, and it amy nto be JOIN OR DIE, it amy jsut be DIE!.

slade · Post by **slade** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:13 pm

[QUOTE=Phreddie]something like the biblical plagues that signified the exodus of the Jews[/QUOTE]
Jews?
Oh you mean Hebrews......

Fiona · Post by **Fiona** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:15 pm

All that you say may be true. However this is a judicial forum and a plea of insanity/diminshed responsibility has been entered on his behalf. It must be seriously considered, especially in view of the powers known to be attributable to Weasel, and some of his experiences in the burning tent

CM · Post by CM » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:15 pm

I must say you people gossip more than housewives, wait some of you are housewives

Phreddie · Post by **Phreddie** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:16 pm

[QUOTE=Fiona]All that you say may be true. However this is a judicial forum and a plea of insanity/diminshed responsibility has been entered on his behalf. It must be seriously considered, especially in view of the powers known to be attributable to Weasel, and some of his experiences in the burning tent[/QUOTE]
this is purely an investigative forum my dear, the judicial segment will be another thread that will be created once we have enough cases to judge so as to not be shut down by teh mods

Phreddie · Post by **Phreddie** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:17 pm

[QUOTE=CM]I must say you people gossip more than housewives, wait some of you are housewives

[/QUOTE]
Dont forget the schoolboys/girls.

Fiona · Post by **Fiona** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:18 pm

[QUOTE=CM]I must say you people gossip more than housewives, wait some of you are housewives

[/QUOTE]

That would be less gossip than you find in the UN then ?

Phreddie · Post by **Phreddie** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:20 pm

[QUOTE=Fiona]That would be less gossip than you find in the UN then ?[/QUOTE]
SHHHHH! they like to give a public image of busyness, dont let them know that we know what they know.....

Ravager · Post by **Ravager** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:21 pm

[QUOTE=Phreddie]SHHHHH! they like to give a public image of busyness, dont let them know that we know what they know.....[/QUOTE]

That would be called 'bureaucracy'.

slade · Post by **slade** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:25 pm

[QUOTE=Ravager]That would be called 'bureaucracy'.

[/QUOTE]

And the abbreviation for that is B.S. ........dont ask...

Lestat · Post by **Lestat** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:37 pm

Nah, nah, nah. The abbreviation for bureaucracy is EU, everyone knows that.