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Vicsun wrote:6. A copy of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Counting to Three

...which you disgard at once, since you realize, intuitively, that your life is your own to remake every second...

and proceed to examine another 20 entries that for some reason request "sparrows."

... But then you realize that you already used those three wishes, so number 4 to 6 was made with no result...

Kipi wrote:... But then you realize that you already used those three wishes, so number 4 to 6 was made with no result...

...So you curse yourself that you didn't wish for several more wishes, despite any consequences, and tear up the Fabio Autograph until its in thin enough shreds to create a piece of string. Life is good...

...well, it WAS good up until now. What were you thinking?! Now you have your Xbox without any game to play. You have the Great China Wall (a tacky picture with Chinese Food menu printed on the other side) without any Chinese food. You look at... you even don't have dear Fabio to look at any more. You look at the string. You hands start automatically making a noose... Oh no, not again!
Several long hours pass...
You almost start thinking about the meaning of life and other boring stuff...

Lady Dragonfly wrote:...well, it WAS good up until now. What were you thinking?! Now you have your Xbox without any game to play. You have the Great China Wall (a tacky picture with Chinese Food menu printed on the other side) without any Chinese food. You look at... you even don't have dear Fabio to look at any more. You look at the string. You hands start automatically making a noose... Oh no, not again!
Several long hours pass...
You almost start thinking about the meaning of life and other boring stuff...

...when you discover an invitation in your pocket to a Championship Poker Match, that requires...

fable wrote:...when you discover an invitation in your pocket to a Championship Poker Match, that requires...

... a lot of Imprecatory Prayer and a dish of Chicken Tandoori. Meanwhile, you...

...also realize it requires a poker face...

Lady Dragonfly wrote:...also realize it requires a poker face...

...not to mention, your state-of-the-art poker shades. And so you're wondering if you'll go and if you do, who will you go with. And so...

Maharlika wrote:...not to mention, your state-of-the-art poker shades. And so you're wondering if you'll go and if you do, who will you go with. And so...

...you hire a two-foot tall mercenary house cat named Two Gun Louie, who claims to know all about winning at poker...

...but you cannot figure out how the heck to get off this planet. You even don't have cat food for Louie. And those mercs are not to be trifled with...

Lady Dragonfly wrote:...but you cannot figure out how the heck to get off this planet. You even don't have cat food for Louie. And those mercs are not to be trifled with...

...which is why you cast a nervous glance at Louie, as he sizes you up and mumbles something about "extra large t-bone." Fortunately for you....

...you smell bad and Louie's gag reflex saves your life...

... or distacts him for long enough to put on your poker suit

O
--+--
l
^
l l

Yes you poker suit renders you into an expressionless stick figure!

now to get the entry fee.... (and avoid that cat (who can't recognise you))

....You spot a drunk person passed out somewhere near the toilet. In his hands are a pair of tickets. Sweet. Now, you don't need to pay those entrace fees. The guy at the main entrance checks out your ticket and you're now one step away from home. All you need now is.....

...to get through that turnstile. Home, sweet home is on the other side. You can almost taste it. You smile to yourself; a little dreamlike plan emerging in your mind [yes, oh yes: a bubble bath, followed by your favourite TV dinner whilst watching all 973 reruns of the Simpsons with a can of never-ending ice-cold beer... the ticket guy is in front of you. You hand over the drunk's pass and the the guy at the gate waves you on through, but just at this moment you sense a hideous presence behind . NO IT CAN'T BE ...

... yes it was you farted long and loud. The dude is oviously grossed out and throws you out the door...

Chapter 1,000,000: A Love Story

........Fortunately for you, Anthony Hopkins shows up to play a little celebrity poker and offers to buy you a drink. Well, who wouldn't accept a drink from a 70 year old stud? I mean, he was a total FOX in Silence of the Lambs. The piercing eyes of Hannibal the Cannibal are so intoxicating......

...or did he spike your drink with Roofies? You pretend to be hopped-up (easy) and watch the drooling elderly stud eagerly seasoning you with Spanish paprika and the world-famous Rendezvous BBQ seasoning ("It gives our ribs that truly unique flavor. And it's not just for ribs: our customers often tell us about all kinds of beefcakes they've enhanced with our seasoning. Just $7.00 a bottle. Call now!")...

.... you decide to split so shove the praprika in his eyes and grab his chips on they way out the door....

...but hang on a minute. Anthony Hopkins? Intoxicating blue eyes... more like intoxicated blue eyes! And furthermore, these are the same blue eyes that stare back at you from the bathroom mirror every morning. This is none other than your Evil Twin!!!!! You...