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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 2:12 pm
by Magrus
Lesson of the Day:

How to act when your wonderfully attractive female friend enters your house with her zipper undone.

  1. Do not jump up and down.
  2. Do not stare.
  3. Do not giggle nervously
  4. Do not pass go.
  5. DO NOT offer her 200 dollars. :eek:
  6. Compliment her on how wonderful she looks today.
  7. And then calmly ask her if her jeans are broken after she thanks you for the compliment. ;)


That concludes today's lesson.
Yep, Kimmy walked in with her fly open today. Boy did she turn red. :p

Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 2:24 pm
by Grimar
lol! will remember that one :D

Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 2:31 pm
by Magrus
Ha, I think she will too. Jean's WERE broken, she came back over with a safety pin through the front of them. I was wondering all day whether they were, or she was trying to tell me something. Definately just broken and oblivious though this morning. :)

Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 3:10 pm
by Denethorn
[QUOTE=Magrus]Jean's WERE broken, she came back over with a safety pin through the front of them[/QUOTE]

Sounds like an emergency pseudo-chastity belt... some women occasionally don them when a sexed up perverse drinker notices their zipper is undone ;)

Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 3:18 pm
by Magrus
Ha, no, the zipper was broken. Funny though. I was sort of weirded out at first. She's like my little sister, and while she is attractive and there's a good bit of tension there, I've been like her big brother for 5 years now. It's just not something we act upon with flirting with each other or anything. :o

Now, if it was one of her friends that'd be a different story. She gets all upset when I go after her cute friends. I've never quite figured that one out to be honest. Which reminds me, our friend Rachel is now single. ;)

Posted: Wed May 25, 2005 8:10 am
by Magrus
Lesson of the Day:

A tip for being tied up. If you decide to allow your girl to tie you to a bed so she can tease you, there are a few things you should know aside from my first lesson.

  1. Make sure she'll let you go when you say so.
  2. Make sure she won't go doing things you'll regret or put you in need of medical attention.
  3. Make sure, the bed you are tied down to has a frame that won't break or twist when you start to struggle.
  4. Don't break your girlfriend's bedframe struggling!
  5. Enjoy! And if parents are around, SHHH! (Courtesy of inspiratation from Grimar.)

Yeah, umm stupid copper bed frame's aren't a good choice to play around. Twisted that thing like a pretzel. :o

Posted: Wed May 25, 2005 8:12 am
by Grimar
last advice: ENJOY :D

Posted: Wed May 25, 2005 8:13 am
by Magrus
Good one! Yeah, it can be quite fun. ;)

Posted: Wed May 25, 2005 8:14 am
by Grimar
and pleasant :D

Posted: Wed May 25, 2005 8:17 am
by Magrus
Sounds like we're talking from experience. :D

Posted: Wed May 25, 2005 8:17 am
by Grimar
shhhhh! :p

Posted: Thu May 26, 2005 4:00 pm
by Magrus
Lesson of the Day:

Don't get wasted and hit on your ex that's moved all the way across a continent from you.

What you do is, hollow out a canteloupe and...gotcha. ;)

Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 9:16 am
by Darth Zenemij
What ever happened to the Nontheist peoples?

Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 9:27 am
by Magrus
They don't show up much anymore. Something about finding an army and such to close this place down on other forums. :rolleyes:

I should do my lesson, but, I don't know if I have one today. I'm going to eat my last brownie, curse a certain female and play with Kiya instead. *nods*

Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 9:27 am
by Fiberfar
They got overrun by the drunken giant rats from Mag's secret lab. :p :D

Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 9:29 am
by Magrus
*snickers* To be honest, I think I spammed them into such a frustration their heads popped. I spammed their threads until they were so full of anti-bubble head propoganda no one would know they even started the things. :p

Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 10:52 pm
by Magrus
Lesson of the Day:

Allowing one of your ex's to try hooking you up with another of your ex's isn't a good thing. All sorts of complications arise in that mess and it's stressful beyond mortal reasoning. It's just, just bad news, all over the place.
Ugh, the girl I nearly married last spring went all buddy buddy on my latest ex and has decided that for my own good, she is playing matchmaker with the two of us. She still cares for me though, and amidst advising me how to deal with the one girl, she teases the hell out of me. I'm tempted to strangle the both of them and go after someone else just to ease my frustrations at the moment. :o

Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 11:21 am
by Magrus
Lesson of the Day:

Getting drunk on cheap Canadian Whiskey, watching movie's and Invader Zim with your roommate and his girl can be fun. However, getting drunk and falling down the deck stairs while trying to find your blender means you've had too much to drink.

Remember, falling down deck stairs in an attempt to find your blender is the warning that you shouldn't drink anymore whiskey.

Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 11:32 am
by moltovir
Not a single thing is a warning that you shouldn't drink whiskey! I disagree with this lesson ;)
Edit: what were you going to do with that blender anyway? :confused:

Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 11:36 am
by Magrus
I had moved it outside before I started drinking, so I could blend cherries into my drink to make a cherry whiskey thing. Unfortunately, I forget in my drunken state that we had moved it inside to the kitchen because it was just too much hassle to use on the porch. I ended up stumbling around searching for it on the porch and thought "hey, maybe we put it in the yard!" and tumbled down the stairs... :o

I'm not big on whiskey, but when your sober, and offered free booze and don't have any of your own....it changes things. Heh, changed my night quite a bit that one did. :D