Page 8 of 13
Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2001 3:39 am
by Mhr'djynn
my favorite from planescape: torment --
"stop starin' at me tail, skull, or i'll mount yeh on the end of a pike"
-annah, my favorite npc from any game
Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2001 6:24 am
by Mr Sleep
Ahhh Mr. Caplin....
And i can do the James Mason voice and everything
"I feel like since i started working every day has been worse than the one previous, so every day you see me is the worst day of my life...."
Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2001 9:05 pm
by T'lainya
One from Peter Lorre..Hitler invited him to go visit Germany during his regime. Lorre telegarmmed back "There is only room for 1 mass murderer of your ability or mine"
Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2001 9:11 pm
by Minerva
One day, Hitler called General Rommel (I'm not sure how to spell) and asked what he thought about their ally, Italians.
Rommel answered: "If you ask me about each soldiers, then they are lions. Their officers are, well, sausages. And the GHQ is just a mountain of cr*p."
Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2001 9:27 pm
by otto
"Before I started taking drugs I had so many problems. Now I only have one problem. Drugs." someone in Cecil B. Demented
"My eyes, the goggles do nothing" Reiner Wolfcastle
"There's no crying in baseball" Tom Hanks
"I have no responsibilities here whatsoever" A Few Good Men
"So all we have to do is sacrifice a virgin and BLAMO, we blow a whole into a Dumbo?"
"That's Limbo you idiot." MOnster Squad
"Me and Sherry were to be wed, but then she got her sight back. Suddenly, the ugliest man in Scotland wasn't good enough for her anymore."-Willie
"Willie, it's good to see you"- Sherry
"That's NOT what you said the first time you saw me!"- Willie
"A racetrack? They've ruined the bird sanctuary."-Lisa
"No they haven't, they've just surrounded it with something beautiful. Like a raisin covered in chocolate, or a monkey in a pirate suit." -Homer
"I said kick it to ME Pele." Charlie Sheen
"How do I know its really you?" -Cyclops
"You're a d*ck" -Wolverine
"Okay" -Cyclops
"What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?"
"You can't unscrew a pregnant woman." Steve Martin, My Blue Heaven
That's it for now......................
Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2001 9:27 pm
by Saigo
"You're one of those big Popeye's chicken-eatin' m-fers ain'cha?" -- Martin Lawrence, Bad Boys.
Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2001 10:12 pm
by Slyweasel
Bump....
Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2001 12:51 am
by Xandax
Just felt like launching Monty Phyton again
"'ME, DOCTOR?'"
(Mr. Bertenshaw and his sick wife arrive at a hospital.)
Doctor: Mr. Bertenshaw?
Mr. B: Me, Doctor.
Doctor: No, me doctor, you Mr. Bertenshaw.
Mr. B: My wife, doctor...
Doctor: No, your wife patient.
Sister: Come with me, please.
Mr. B: Me, Sister?
Doctor: No, she Sister, me doctor, you Mr. Bertenshaw.
Nurse: Dr. Walters?
Doctor: Me, nurse...You Mr. Bertenshaw, she Sister, you doctor.
Sister: No, doctor.
Doctor: No doctor: call ambulance, keep warm.
Nurse: Drink, doctor?
Doctor: Drink doctor, eat Sister, cook Mr. Bertenshaw, nurse me!
Nurse: You, doctor?
Doctor: ME doctor!! You Mr. Bertenshaw. She Sister!
Mr. B: But my wife, nurse...
Doctor: Your wife not nurse. She nurse, your wife patient. Be patient, she nurse your wife. Me doctor, you tent, you tree, you Tarzan, me Jane, you Trent, you Trillo...me doctor!
Sergeant-Major: Stop this, stop this. What a silly way to carry on. What do you want?
Customer: I wish to register a complaint.
Sergeant-Major: Well, this is a hospital. You want the pet shop in the next file...
Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2001 3:29 am
by Chrissy
Come to think of it...
"Here, let me buy you a drink." is one of my favorite quotes...
Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2001 4:54 am
by Flagg
"Girls can wear jeans, cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots. So it's okay to be a boy, but for a boy to look like a girl is degrading. It's you who thinks that being a girl is degrading, but secretely you would love to know what it's like. What it feels like for a girl."
-Madonna
Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2001 7:09 am
by Maurice
"Assumption is the mother of all f*ck-ups!" - Unknown
Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2001 7:41 am
by Xandax
"If you feel good, don't worry - it'll pass"
">>smile<< Because tomorrow will be worse"
"Every decision will cause problems"
Murphy's Law
Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2001 8:22 am
by Gruntboy
I like the Rommel Quote Minerva, where'd you dig that up?
"In war, when you have all the men, ammo, supplies, tank and airsupport you need... you know something bad is going to hapen."
"Tracers work both ways"
"There is no such thing as friendly fire"
Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2001 8:29 am
by Xandax
"If you can see the enemy - the enemy can see you"
"If an attack goes successfully, it is an ambush"
"If in doubt - empty you clip"
"The easiest way is always mined"
"Never share a foxhole with somebody braver than you"
"The enemy diversion you choose to ignore, will always be the main assault"
Murphy's Law for soldiers
Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2001 8:32 am
by Gruntboy
LOL.
The most dangerous thing in the world is a LT with a map and a compass
Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2001 8:37 am
by Xandax
I just stumble on these - and couldn't resist posting them - You Americans on this forum got to now who this is:
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure".
"I have made good judgments in the past.
I have made good judgments in the future".
"The future will be better tomorrow".
"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world".
"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO.
We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe".
"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican".
"When I have been asked, who caused the riots and the killing in LA,
my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots?
The rioters are to blame.
Who is to blame for the killings?
The killers are to blame".
"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it".
"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur".
"For NASA, space is still a high priority".
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children".
"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the
mistakes we may or may not have made".
"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system".
Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2001 8:40 am
by Xandax
Originally posted by Gruntboy:
LOL.
The most dangerous thing in the world is a LT with a map and a compass
As I recall from my time in the military (conscript in Denmark, well I volunteered actually
)
the mose dangerous thing was other members of my squad - in one exercise I got killed by my Sergeant, our second machinegunner and my buddy
- what a day
Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2001 8:51 am
by Gruntboy
Christ! They *were* on your side right?! LOL. In a Signal Corps exercise I got artillery called in on my position... Cheers lads!
Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2001 8:54 am
by Blueman
A couple of additions for Xandax:
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'." ( my favorite )
[This message has been edited by Blueman (edited 02-22-2001).]
Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2001 9:56 am
by Xandax
Originally posted by Gruntboy:
Christ! They *were* on your side right?! LOL. In a Signal Corps exercise I got artillery called in on my position... Cheers lads!
Yeah - my side
We were equiped with laser + laser reciver suits - and the fist one he fell and his rifle "shot" me - my sergant trip a mine right next to me (I could feel it burn me
) and the 3 one - well I don't know that he was doing - he just shot me somehow in the back
[This message has been edited by Xandax (edited 02-22-2001).]