GameBanshee Forums

Originally posted by Silur


The normal kind, sure, but not the two component super polymer resin kind

You've never had Dwarven Ale...

Sure Nips, though I'm not sure I want you to go on to the enxt round. I got a sure fire plan against the Mimics...

The mimic team has decided not to use epoxy, and instead launch a formal complaint against the Titans for using Dwarven Ale, which should be considered doping for a number of reasons (except maybe when used by dwarves). Instead, the mimics eat plenty of proteins. This will result in that if the mimic glue is dissolved by Dwarven Ale, then the resulting substance will become immensely slippery. Proteins also strengthen the glue, but not nearly as much as polymers do.

If the Titans don't use Ale, we will use a point marking strategy, each mimic sticking to his designated titan player and either passing the ball to our mimic libero or making sure the ball goes of field. The wraith isn't too much to worry about as long as we keep our distance. The mimic libero tries to keep possession of the ball and whenever possible, goes for goal (making really sure not to get close to the wraith). We would in no way hinder the Titan players. Instead we stick to them, sort of like a pair of pants...

If the Titans decide to use the Dwarven Ale, then we use the oilslick tactic. The bigger they are... The ball will also become slippery, so the mimics can take advantage of their "slickshot". When the field is all slippery, the mimics start turning into the occasional football to confuse the Titans. Since the game will become very fast (because of slipperyness), the Titans won't have time to analyse the mimics carefully enough to tell the real ball from the mimic balls.

We've spent the last day or so practicing slippery tactics with a few green slimes, and it's looking good. We have great hopes for this Semi. Since we've managed to find some small scraps of our main star Panto Mimic, we've resurrected him and he'll be playing libero. His shot has become much better, so we suspect we might have gotten pieces of Roberto Mimic mixed in somewhere.

Here's an interesting thought. What exactly does a Mimic look like in it's natural form?

Well, my Gnomes have a very good strategy - we're going to try and play some football! Our only special equipment will be flame-retardant suits for resisting the Dwarves' cannon-thingy. Their pointy armour is no match for us, as the extreme fatness of all the Gnomes means they will just bounce off without even a scratch. No skewered Gnome, I'm afraid guys. While the Dwarves are drinking merrily, we will be showing off our footie skills and dimension-dooring all over the place. And telling them stories. After the last match, when they had 7 of their players sent off, (and by the way Lost One, aren't all those Dwarvish players suspended who were sent off?) we will be attempting to antago...allow their true natures to come to the front After all, our best storytellers were in the first team, but the better footballers were in the second team. So this team are far better with the ball, but they tell really awful stories. Just the thing to show the referee what bigots the Dwarves really are, no? Oh, and that ball-cannon, quite apart from its being (I think) illegal, will have no chance against our fat goalie, off of which it will only bounce off. If the drunkards manage to get it into the top corner, he has surprisingly good dexterity, and can make quite astonishingly skilful saves.

Oh, and the Dwarves excessive consumption of ale is definitely doping. Unless it gives me an advantage, in which case it's fine

Okay, so your gnomes won't burn, but hat doesn't mean the heat make them pass out. All that fat, and heat from the cannons are bound to cause half your offensive team to pass out from heat exhaustion. On top of that, the Ale drinking dwarves aen't drunk, they merely feel invincible with the effects of the ale, they also have a higher tolerance for incessant babble, so the stories won't be an issue. Also, the accuity of Dwarven hearing will pretty much nullify the dimension, being able to hear the huffn' and puffin' of the fat gnomes as they try to run more than 10 feet with the football. The out of shape Black gnomes will go no further this season.

And who said anything about aiming the cannon at the goalie? the intent is to shoot it so fast that the goalie cannot possbily block the shot in time. Even if it does hit him, then the impact alone would drive back into the net, and possibly render him unconcscious...

Try it

Originally posted by Aegis
We're not to sure how these Dwarves will deal with the slightly faster Black Gnomes,

The giant flaw, nay hole, in your plan. Our Gnomes may be fat, but they're also very very fit. Whilst the first team was busying itself by telling stories to each other, the second team was in the gym, training away to increase their stamina. Now they can carry twice their weight without caring, easily able to bear their huge fatty reserves. They're quite nippy, too (or should that be Nippy? ) and so I'd be very surprised if they don't run you ragged. Also, the level of intoxication of the Dwarves, as they think they are invincible, will lull them into a false sense of security, and make them think they can lose their tempers without repercussions. And just because you know where we are, doesn't mean you can get there before we've gotten a shot off. And a Gnome never misses. Did I ever tell you the story of old Uncle Alnat? He thought he'd made a mistake once, but he was wrong. It all started in the summer of 893 DR...*fade to black*

Originally posted by Kameleon


The giant flaw, nay hole, in your plan. Our Gnomes may be fat, but they're also very very fit. Whilst the first team was busying itself by telling stories to each other, the second team was in the gym, training away to increase their stamina. Now they can carry twice their weight without caring, easily able to bear their huge fatty reserves. They're quite nippy, too (or should that be Nippy? ) and so I'd be very surprised if they don't run you ragged. Also, the level of intoxication of the Dwarves, as they think they are invincible, will lull them into a false sense of security, and make them think they can lose their tempers without repercussions. And just because you know where we are, doesn't mean you can get there before we've gotten a shot off. And a Gnome never misses. Did I ever tell you the story of old Uncle Alnat? He thought he'd made a mistake once, but he was wrong. It all started in the summer of 893 DR...*fade to black*

Yes, I remeber Uncle Alnat... As I recall, the Dwarves won that year...

Originally posted by Aegis
Yes, I remeber Uncle Alnat... As I recall, the Dwarves won that year...

...followed by a run of gnomic (har har) wins when the entire Dwarven team was mysteriously stepped on by a wandering Cloud Giant

Originally posted by Aegis
Here's an interesting thought. What exactly does a Mimic look like in it's natural form?

Oh, they pretty much look like eachother...

Originally posted by Silur


Oh, they pretty much look like eachother...

What more can be said in response...

Originally posted by Aegis
What more can be said in response...

How about asking "what's the mimics' biggest weakness?" That should do the trick

Highlight for results:
Black Gnomes 1 - 2 Dwarves
"Well, finally into the semi-finals, and today we have the fast, yet bloated Black Gnomes versus the ale-inbibing tough Dwarves. What a match and it's to be played at night, too, since both teams have infravision!
Ruthless Eye sounds the whistle and after the huge quantities of ale drunk by the Dwarven team, the Dwarves begin with possession. Playin' a 5-2-3 formation, the dwarves start off with great energy 'nd skill, despite havin' to use a lot of their B team due to suspensions from the last game. The right forward is nearin' the gnomish area, he easily gets past some of the gnomish midfielders (they seem to be a bit scared of the dwarven armor at the moment) and shoots! the ball arcs towards the inside of the right post but the 'baloon' gnome, as we like to call it, absorbs the shot - his chubby cheeks red with effort. The Gnomes then take the ball, showing faster movement than ever before with the B team (no storytellin' this time, thanks God!) passes it to one of the midfielders, who makes a long pass to number 10, he dribbles past a dwarven defender, then the dwarven cannon spits out liquid fire!! in his direction, but he is not affected! gnomish fire retardant suit has helped him and bam! he slams it into goal! however, the dwarven goalkeeper responds admirably as he shoves the ball into the main cannon, lights it up, and *whooo* the ball jets through the air and finds the back of the net, despite gnome balloon's attempt to save it.
Comin' back in the second half, 1-1, and the Gnomes seem more secure with the ball, the centre-forward picks it up, takes it downfield then D-doors near the Dwarven goalie!! it's a goal! no...wait, offside has been given! it seems the drow linesmen have finally been of use, since there's no daylight to blind 'em - and this will effectively hinder the tricky gnome's use of D-door. A bunch of offsides are given throughout the rest of the match, and the Gnomes pursuing the Dwarven goal are failin' due to high cholesterol levels, high amount of heat from flame cannon causin' 'em to sweat 'n grunt like pigs, and unable to penetrate dwarven defense anymore. Seizing the opportunity at the 91st minute into extra time, the Dwarves pick up their paces, work through short passes for the ball to get to the left forward who pumps his shorts legs to carry him to the gnomish side of the field...reachin' the far end, he makes an overhead cross to the centre-forward in the area...the gnome balloon rushes to meet him and *pow* he has been burst by one of the dwarven spikes as they'd collided with each other in the air! Off the gnome balloon goes - up & up & up & away. The Dwarf then quite easily conducts the ball to make a winnin' goal. Well done, the Dwarves! The Ale sure paid off!"

Titans/Wraiths vs Mimics:
Ok, before the results are given for this match, a few things should be straightened out first.
Silur, since I'm currently without my team of professionals who guide me into analysing strategies, could you plz help me understand your 'glue' tactic..Do your mimics turn into glue so that the whole field becomes gluey? If not, what's the 'glue' thing about?
You may in the meantime also inform me of how your mimics will score goals (when not in football shape) since no-one here, I think, can get a clear picture of a mimic in normal form.
On the other hand, Nippy, you will only be allowed the use of Dwarven ale before/after the match...not during.
1 more day will be given to straighten the strategies out.
Or in game terms: "The second semi-final match between Titans/Wraiths and the Mimics has been postponed due to heavy, fire rain in the region which can be typical during this goblonsoon season. The match will be postponed for tomorrow, in the meantime, make sure you visit our Kobold Slave History Museum - a must for all drow, illithid and beholders! Enjoy!"

Well, so much for democracy

Originally posted by Weasel

I salute all the fallen teams for being such great sports about all of this and not turning this into a flaming war.

I tried to, but no one cared.

Originally posted by Dottie


I tried to, but no one cared.

Where ??? How did I miss a chance at a flaming war. I mean ...I find it hard to believe you would try to start a flaming war Dottie.

Originally posted by Weasel
Where ??? How did I miss a chance at a flaming war. I mean ...I find it hard to believe you would try to start a flaming war Dottie.

Yeah, see another person agrees with me. Fearsome and evil you are not, Dots.

Originally posted by Weasel


Where ??? How did I miss a chance at a flaming war. I mean ...I find it hard to believe you would try to start a flaming war Dottie.

lol. Well I never said I was particularly good at it.

Originally posted by Dottie


lol. Well I never said I was particularly good at it.

*Watch this Kameleon*

I will take you under my wing Dottie and show you the ways of the flame...No strings attached