The little comments are from my friend who has an amazing sense of humor!!!
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point
a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3) Insist that your e mail address is:
Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com or
Elvis-the-King@companyname.com
4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want
fries with that.
5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has
gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'
(I love this one. Definitely have to do that sometime...)
10) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you
think." (or perhaps, "Sorry if I looked interested, I'm not)
11) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the
prophecy."
12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up
the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
13) Don't use any punctuation
14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
15) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
16) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
17) Sing along at the opera.
18) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
19) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective
if your boss is of the opposite gender.)
20) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3."
(This i found particularly funny b/c I swear that so many people here
insist on writing emails telling you that they'll be out and where they'll be over
the next few days...and guess what...I have NO idea who they are and don't
really care.)
21) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle
sounds all day.
22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
23) Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.
Don't really do this@!!.
24)Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.
25) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
26) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
27) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
28) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the
voices in your head that do."
29) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
30) Every time you see a broom, yell "Honey, your mother is here!"
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....
31. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to
you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.
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Greetings from The Weasel!
The Lord Weasel!
The Warrior of the Light Spamland!
The Ayatollah of Spamolla!
I'm knocking off for the day. My assistant, Gunther, will see you 