8Originally posted by Darkpoet:
<STRONG>How about a discussion on how many chips are in a chocolate chip cookie?
Disclaimer
You call that a disclaimer??? This is a disclaimer!
Disclaimer: This humor does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either
myself, my company, my friends, or my cat; don't quote me on that; don't quote
me on anything; © Copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Vehemence; all rights reserved;
this document is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute
this posting and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit
from it or include the article or parts of it in commercial publications, or as
part of any fee-based services or products; further redistributions only allowed
unedited and in its entirety by electronic transfer (anonymous FTP, Gopher, WWW
and mail servers), storage media, and printed copy as long as this notice is
included and no monetary fee is charged; comments subject to change without notice;
text is slightly enlarged to show detail; resemblance to actual persons, living
or dead, is unintentional and coincidental; all models are over 18 years of age;
dry clean only; do not bend, fold, or mutilate; anchovies or jalapenos added to
comments upon request; your mileage may vary; no substitutions are allowed; for a
limited time only while supplies last; offer void where prohibited; comments are
provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full
liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; equal opportunity joke
employer; no shoes, no shirt, no comments; caveat emptor; read at your own risk;
comments may contain material some readers find objectionable; parental advisory:
explicit lyrics; keep away from pets and small children; limit one-per-family
please; no money down; no purchase necessary; ask us about our guns-for-comments
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not included; action figures sold separately; comments were packed full, contents may have settled during mailing; sanitized and sealed for your protection; do
not use if safety seal is broken; do not use while operating a motor vehicle or
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with mucous membranes; joke contents under pressure, may explode if incinerated;
smoking these comments may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second
only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text is made from 100% recycled
electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of
these comments; no salt, MSG, preservatives, artificial color or flavor added; if
ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a comedian; comments are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; one size fits all; comment offer is valid only at
participating Internet sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to
six weeks for delivery; if defects are found, do not try to fix them yourself,
but return to an authorized comment service center; please remain seated until the
comments have come to a complete stop; comments in the mirror may be funnier than they appear; this disclaimer does not cover hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, and
other Acts of God, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear
blasts, unauthorized repair, improper installation, misuse, typos, misspelled
words, missing or altered signatures, and incidents owing to computer or disk
failure, accidental file deletions, or milk coming out of your nose due to
laughing while drinking; other restrictions may apply. If something offends
you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.
Disclaimer: This humor does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either
myself, my company, my friends, or my cat; don't quote me on that; don't quote
me on anything; © Copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Vehemence; all rights reserved;
this document is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute
this posting and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit
from it or include the article or parts of it in commercial publications, or as
part of any fee-based services or products; further redistributions only allowed
unedited and in its entirety by electronic transfer (anonymous FTP, Gopher, WWW
and mail servers), storage media, and printed copy as long as this notice is
included and no monetary fee is charged; comments subject to change without notice;
text is slightly enlarged to show detail; resemblance to actual persons, living
or dead, is unintentional and coincidental; all models are over 18 years of age;
dry clean only; do not bend, fold, or mutilate; anchovies or jalapenos added to
comments upon request; your mileage may vary; no substitutions are allowed; for a
limited time only while supplies last; offer void where prohibited; comments are
provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full
liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; equal opportunity joke
employer; no shoes, no shirt, no comments; caveat emptor; read at your own risk;
comments may contain material some readers find objectionable; parental advisory:
explicit lyrics; keep away from pets and small children; limit one-per-family
please; no money down; no purchase necessary; ask us about our guns-for-comments
trade-in plan; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries
not included; action figures sold separately; comments were packed full, contents may have settled during mailing; sanitized and sealed for your protection; do
not use if safety seal is broken; do not use while operating a motor vehicle or
heavy equipment; safety goggles may be required during use; call before you dig;
use only with proper ventilation; for external use only; if a swelling, redness,
rash, or irritation develops, discontinue use; do not place near a flammable or
magnetic source; keep away from open flames; avoid inhaling fumes or contact
with mucous membranes; joke contents under pressure, may explode if incinerated;
smoking these comments may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second
only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text is made from 100% recycled
electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of
these comments; no salt, MSG, preservatives, artificial color or flavor added; if
ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a comedian; comments are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; one size fits all; comment offer is valid only at
participating Internet sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to
six weeks for delivery; if defects are found, do not try to fix them yourself,
but return to an authorized comment service center; please remain seated until the
comments have come to a complete stop; comments in the mirror may be funnier than they appear; this disclaimer does not cover hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, and
other Acts of God, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear
blasts, unauthorized repair, improper installation, misuse, typos, misspelled
words, missing or altered signatures, and incidents owing to computer or disk
failure, accidental file deletions, or milk coming out of your nose due to
laughing while drinking; other restrictions may apply. If something offends
you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
I could conquer the world with a disclaimer like that Vehemence.
Objects in Mirror are closer then they appear.
Objects in Mirror are closer then they appear.
Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
Whose to say I haven't already?Originally posted by Kayless:
<STRONG>I could conquer the world with a disclaimer like that Vehemence.
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
Like there's any difference between the two of youOriginally posted by Flagg:
<STRONG>I see you are still all talk...
Proud SLURRite Assistant Scientist and Brewer of the Rolling Thunder (TM)- Visitors WELCOME !!!
[size=0](Feel free to join us for a drink, play some pool or even relax in a hottub - want to learn more? )[/size]
Progressing through life, one step at a time
[size=0](Feel free to join us for a drink, play some pool or even relax in a hottub - want to learn more? )[/size]
Progressing through life, one step at a time
All talk? You believe what you want to believe
Brink, theres one essential difference between Captain Flagg and myself... my pickup lines are better!
Brink, theres one essential difference between Captain Flagg and myself... my pickup lines are better!
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
Darkpoet: Your willing to say you think Flagg's pickup lines are better than mine???
Ok Flagg, how much did you pay him!
Looks like we're gonna need Chrissy as a referee here
Ok Flagg, how much did you pay him!
Looks like we're gonna need Chrissy as a referee here
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
Flagg and Vehemence-ROTFLMAO @ the both of you
Proud SLURRite Assistant Scientist and Brewer of the Rolling Thunder (TM)- Visitors WELCOME !!!
[size=0](Feel free to join us for a drink, play some pool or even relax in a hottub - want to learn more? )[/size]
Progressing through life, one step at a time
[size=0](Feel free to join us for a drink, play some pool or even relax in a hottub - want to learn more? )[/size]
Progressing through life, one step at a time
Hmmm... flagg and me with bad pickup lines, Chrissy as a referee, this gives me an idea!
*Posts a sign saying no bad pickup lines within a 40 yard radius*
Alternatively we could have a bad pikup line competition But i think that's been done before
*Posts a sign saying no bad pickup lines within a 40 yard radius*
Alternatively we could have a bad pikup line competition
But i think that's been done before Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.