Famous last words

Flagg · Post by **Flagg** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 7:54 am

"Come on what can she do? She is only a girl?"

Gruntboy · Post by **Gruntboy** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 8:00 am

Good one Flagg. Never unerestimate women.

Rail · Post by **Rail** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 8:36 pm

DM: He turns around to face you, glaring in anger. He has something in his hand. He points it at you.
PC1: What is it?
PC2: Yeah. What's he got in his hand?
DM: (waits expectantly)
PC1: Well?

Slyweasel · Post by **Slyweasel** » Wed Feb 21, 2001 12:41 am

"If I had my wings" by Aerie, right before the Black Dragon ate her.

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Wed Feb 21, 2001 12:51 am

Originally posted by Ubik:
"Honey, have you seen my 38 special? I was sure I left it in my locked drawer, under a dozen of nude Salma Hayek pics... honey?"

Good one

,
but where did he get Salma from

Rail · Post by **Rail** » Wed Feb 21, 2001 1:45 am

Weasel: "I can take Aerie. She's a nobody"

Oops! Wait. Scratch that last one. Didn't mean it. (just wanted to say it.

) Sorry, Weasel. Hee, hee!

Flagg · Post by **Flagg** » Wed Feb 21, 2001 7:29 am

"I drink the bottle marked POISON on the off-chance that it's the extra-healing potion."

"Whaddya mean, a pentagram only has FIVE sides?"

"I didn't find any traps !!"

"We are in luck! The dragon is sleeping"

"Why can't we take Clarissa (Disguised evil high priestess) with us?"

Traveller: "Who took the battery out of my grav belt?"

"They're wearing blue robes? They must be Druids. Roll for initiative,
suckers." (At which point the polymorphed Bone Devils ate him.)

"What do you mean 18 meter long crocodile--you just said crocodile."

"It's OK, I trust her..." ... *BOOM!!!!!!*

"Don't be silly. If this was really the ship's "Self-Destruct Button", do you think they'd leave it lying around where anyone could press it?"

"You're all a bunch of wimps!! I'll prove to you myself that an entire orc stronghold is no match for your average barbarian."

"All right, we're in an unexplored dungeon in total darkness with no light sources or infravision...Hey, I know!! Let's yell and scream a lot so we can locate each other by sound!!"

"I'm going to kill our captives anyway, and I don't give a damn whether the other goody-good PC's like it or not."

"Yes, it's true I humiliated the DM in front of the debating team Wednesday, but he's much too broad-minded to take it out on my character."

"So I'm safely across the pit? Whew! For a minute there I was worried that you might remember my encumbrance penalties."

"All right, I jump...Now on the way down, I activate my ring of feather fall...no, wait, didn't I lend it to Jim?"

"What do you mean Tsu Han's pilotting the shuttle? Does he even have the
Insystem Pilot skill? WHY ARE YOU SMILING AND SHAKING YOUR HEAD?"

"Me first Me first."

Ranger: "What do I see?"
DM:"Do you remember the trap that killed Indy's guide in Raiders of the Lost Ark?"

"Diamonds ... Gold... Saphires !!! Terry! Terry, we're rich, we're rich, we're fabulously wealthy !!!! ...Terry ..... Terry ??"

"What do you mean the whole room we're in detects as a trap?"

"I stand right underneath the Fire Giant and point my wand straight up."

"Bob, you have any grenades left? Throw me one..."

"Who's the bitch with the spiders?" (ahhh! the infamous Lloth)

"Only six inches long? Ha... Wait, you don't mean six _scale_ inches, do you?" {said in miniature-figures-game. Character itself was 3/4" high.}

"You'd have to be a GOD to smile after that hit!"

NPC: "Take this ring as a token of my esteem." {This party no longer accepts gifts from unknown NPC's.}

PLAYER:"BEGONE THINGS OF EVIL!!!" REPLY:"Begone thing of good."

"Hubba hubba! The nymph's taking off her clothes!"

"You racist! They're elves. So what if they're black?"

"Ha ha ha! Let's put bookworms in his spell research library."

"Look, I don't care what you think of her, or her "demonic smile." She's hot to trot. So, if you'll excuse us..."

"If you cut me down, I will only become more powerful."

"O.K. pal, take your best shot."

[This message has been edited by Flagg (edited 02-21-2001).]

Ubik · Post by **Ubik** » Wed Feb 21, 2001 7:37 am

Originally posted by Xandax:
Good one ,
but where did he get Salma from

Yeah, where??

------------------
Captain of the Love Boat - wanking onboard is prohibited

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Wed Feb 21, 2001 11:05 am

Preist of Lathander: Ya, ya fine. I swear loyalty to Talos, now gimme the damn book!

------------------
All for one, and one for all!

Gruntboy · Post by **Gruntboy** » Wed Feb 21, 2001 11:09 am

"Are you with me?"

<looks behind after 100 yards, no one has joined in the charge on the enemy army>

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Wed Feb 21, 2001 7:24 pm

"I wonder if these drow know the one-fingered salute?"

"CHARGE!!!"

"FALLBACK!!!"

"We conned you good!"

------------------
All for one, and one for all!

Maurice · Post by **Maurice** » Thu Feb 22, 2001 7:07 am

Two PC's in unknown, dark dungeon
PC1: "My torch is starting to flicker, will be gone soon. Hand me a new one, ok?"
PC2: "Me? Weren't you supposed to buy new supplies last time?"

Dragon slayer entering dragon lair
DS: "Ah! A mighty Dragon!"
Dragon: "Ah! Tasty dinner!"

Group in dungeon
PC1: "... and now turn left here."
PC2: "Here? There's a solid wall here!"
PC1: "Uh, you sure? No secret doors?"
PC3: "No secret doors, one hell of a solid wall"
PC1: "Lemme check my map ..."
<studies his map for a while, then rotates it>
PC1: "Ah! I held the map upside down!"

Group near dark canyon in cave
PC1: "Now we have to jump down here"
PC2: "How deep is it?"
PC1: "According to these notes, only 3 yards"
<PC2 jumps down>
PC1: "Wait ... it's 30 yards. Hehe, the '0' was hard to read"

Two after a long ride
PC1: "Say, isn't that armored figure over there our nemesis, who said he would kill us?"
PC2: "Him? Nah, no way. He could not have gotten here this fast"

Group in wilderness
PC1: "Umm ... perhaps we should have camped last night to get our bearings in the morning, instead of going on in the darkness"
PC2: "Why? What's wrong?"
PC1: "You know when they said there were Orc villages north of here? That's here."
<2 seconds later, a horde of Orcs jumps forth from an ambush>

Group waiting in line for an audience with the King, getting close to him
PC to group: "Do you think they will still be angry with me for having summoned those Demons into the Royal Court last time??"

Warrior to enemy:
"YOU think you can defeat ME?!? Whahaha!!"

Gruntboy · Post by **Gruntboy** » Thu Feb 22, 2001 8:11 am

<Overheard at the battle of Hastings>

"Oi! You'll have someone's eye out with those."

And Hitler, of the Russian army, prior to his 1941 invasion:

"You have only to kick in the barn doors and the whole rotten structure will collapse"

4 bloody, scorched earth years and 30 million+ deaths later...

[This message has been edited by Gruntboy (edited 02-22-2001).]

Rail · Post by **Rail** » Thu Feb 22, 2001 1:41 pm

Everyone's favorite:
"I am the leader! We do as I say! So... we go THIS way!"

FoulDwimmerlaik · Post by **FoulDwimmerlaik** » Thu Feb 22, 2001 1:43 pm

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Flagg:
Have any of you ever been curious? I wonder whether I have the power to delete messages that have been posted by the administrator.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maurice · Post by **Maurice** » Fri Feb 23, 2001 4:35 am

For the C&C fans out there, this is also a good one:

"This is the Pentagon! A full frontal assault with your strongest forces should render their center of military operations..."

Gruntboy · Post by **Gruntboy** » Fri Feb 23, 2001 4:50 am

WWI - "Don't worry, the bombardment is the heaviest of the war, it'll burry 'em in their trenches and cut the barbed wire. You don't even need bullets which is why were going in with the bayonet..."

Slyweasel · Post by **Slyweasel** » Fri Feb 23, 2001 4:51 am

Originally posted by Buck Satan:
Definitely. Going to ban his account now.