Your Favourite Jokes

VoodooDali · Post by **VoodooDali** » Wed Mar 20, 2002 11:35 pm

I think I'd get banned if I told them here... Anyone know the Boomba Boomba joke?

Georgi · Post by **Georgi** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 12:24 am

What's big, red and eats rocks?

A big red rock-eater

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 12:32 am

If I'm not mistaken...

Originally posted by VoodooDali
I think I'd get banned if I told them here... Anyone know the Boomba Boomba joke?

...it would be the same version as my BUNDA-BUNDA! joke...

...if it's the same joke, then I'm telling you I would not like to be sentenced with "Death by BUNDA!"

*ouch!* That just gotta hurt!

Sailor Saturn · Post by **Sailor Saturn** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 12:41 am

Hmm...most the jokes I know are Aggie jokes and I don't want to be offensive, so I won't tell them.

The only other jokes I can think of are my dad's jokes and you really don't want to hear them.

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 1:43 am

An "Intellectual" Joke?

This one is for the logic-minded people...

This reminds me of the "lateral thinking" puzzles that I got...

There is a solution and it is logical too.

PROBLEM:

A mother is 21 years older than her son.
In 6 years her son will be 5 times younger than her.

QUESTION: Where is the father??

Don't scroll to the answer yet!!!
Write down the equations. Think a little. It is not that hard

Answer below:

Answer:

- the son is X years old
- the mom is Y years old

===> X+21=Y

- in 6 years:
===> 5(X+6)=Y+6

-------------------------------------------------

5X+30 = X+21+6
4X = -3
X = -3/4

the son is -3/4 years old, more exactly -9 months!

Conclusion:
The father is ON TOP of the mother....

Beldin · Post by **Beldin** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 3:16 am

Since I'm bound by the SYM rules I have to post one of my favourite CLEAN jokes

since I don't want to risk being banned.

Lawyers:

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's
Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a
detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so
interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner
what it costs.

"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a
thousand dollars more for the story behind it."

"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take
the rat."

The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the
bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of
the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into
step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins
to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more
rats come out and follow him.

By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are
at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even
faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm
from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars.

Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the
waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts
to run for the bridge.

Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it
with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay
with the other, as far as he can heave it.

Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in
amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater
into the sea, where they drown.

Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop.

"Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the
owner.

"No," says the tourist, "but I was wondering if you have any
bronze lawyers!"

No worries,

Beldin

Astafas · Post by **Astafas** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 3:21 am

@Beldin

I'm shocked! What a horrible story!

VoodooDali · Post by **VoodooDali** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 9:15 am

Re: If I'm not mistaken...

Originally posted by Maharlika
...it would be the same version as my BUNDA-BUNDA! joke...

...if it's the same joke, then I'm telling you I would not like to be sentenced with "Death by BUNDA!"

*ouch!* That just gotta hurt!

Yup, that's the one...

Moleman · Post by **Moleman** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 9:49 am

Re: If I'm not mistaken...

Originally posted by Maharlika
...it would be the same version as my BUNDA-BUNDA! joke...

...if it's the same joke, then I'm telling you I would not like to be sentenced with "Death by BUNDA!"

*ouch!* That just gotta hurt!

I've heard it as WOMBA joke. It is truly funny, but I don't dare to post it - it has something to do with the same area as my 2 previously posted jokes...

Beldin · Post by **Beldin** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 9:54 am

Originally posted by Astafas
@Beldin

I'm shocked! What a horrible story!

So what ?

Will you sentence me to death by wunga-bunga ?

No worries !

Beldin

Moleman · Post by **Moleman** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 10:16 am

@Astafas; (bet you haven't heard this one before

) What do you call a 500 lawyers in the bottom of the ocean?

More of them

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 10:29 am

Three guys of different professions are sitting around, discussing what God was before Man existed.

"Well," said the doctor, "God was obviously a doctor first, as he created life."

"No, your wrong." Said the engineer. "God was an engineer first, as he took chaos and confusion and built order from it."

"The third man, who was a lawyer shook his head. "Your both wrong. God was a lawyer first. Who do you think created all that chaos and confusion?"

Astafas · Post by **Astafas** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 10:31 am

Originally posted by Moleman
@Astafas; (bet you haven't heard this one before ) What do you call a 500 lawyers in the bottom of the ocean?

More of them

I went over there... I saw them all!... Mummy! They're being bad to me!!!

Moleman · Post by **Moleman** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 10:44 am

Originally posted by Astafas

I went over there... I saw them all!... Mummy! They're being bad to me!!!

Noticed that it was a law-firms web page? It's great they can laugh at themselves! I didn't even know lawyers can laugh...

Here's an absolut gem from the site:

Scientists are now using lawyers in the place of laboratory mice.
Lawyers are more plentiful, they will do things that mice refuse to, there is no public outcry, and the scientists do not get attached to them. But, it's sometimes hard to extrapolate the test results to human beings.

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 11:45 pm

Re: An "Intellectual" Joke?

posted by Moleman

(BTW I do realize the 2 jokes I've sent both have something to do with certain body part. Let it be known that I don't have any fixation with it and I do know jokes about other stuff as well...)

Let it be known that you should know better than to post this when there's a shrink around

Have you heard about Freud's 3 psychosexual phases, hmmm?

posted by Maharlika
Conclusion:
The father is ON TOP of the mother....

But Maharlika, that's not logical at all - he could be anywhere, just close enough

posted by Moleman
Scientists are now using lawyers in the place of laboratory mice. Lawyers are more plentiful, they will do things that mice refuse to, there is no public outcry, and the scientists do not get attached to them. But, it's sometimes hard to extrapolate the test results to human beings.

LOL

I know who I will recruit as a subject for my next experiment! Question is, should he be included in the healthy volonteer group or the patient group? And which patient group?

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Fri Mar 22, 2002 12:23 am

I stand corrected there...

Originally posted by C Elegans
But Maharlika, that's not logical at all - he could be anywhere, just close enough

... so would it be more logical if he was INside her?

BTW, the mods can delete this particular post if such "logical" answer is unsavory.

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Fri Mar 22, 2002 12:28 am

Re: I stand corrected there...

Originally posted by Maharlika
... so would it be more logical if he was INside her?

BTW, the mods can delete this particular post if such "logical" answer is unsavory.

Exactly!

That the only answer that's not non sequiteur.

Astafas · Post by **Astafas** » Fri Mar 22, 2002 2:34 am

Re: Re: An "Intellectual" Joke?

Originally posted by C Elegans

LOL I know who I will recruit as a subject for my next experiment! Question is, should he be included in the healthy volonteer group or the patient group? And which patient group?

OMG! It's me, isn't it!? I'm outta here! *running towards forest to live like Robin Hood for rest of life (which would be very short, should CE ever get her hands on me)*

Moleman · Post by **Moleman** » Fri Mar 22, 2002 4:17 am

Re: Re: An "Intellectual" Joke?

posted by Moleman
(BTW I do realize the 2 jokes I've sent both have something to do with certain body part. Let it be known that I don't have any fixation with it and I do know jokes about other stuff as well...)

Originally posted by C Elegans
Let it be known that you should know better than to post this when there's a shrink around Have you heard about Freud's 3 psychosexual phases, hmmm?

Bollocks! That kind of talk is from horses arse! Freudian psycho-analysis is nothing butt a nuisance to ordinary, healthy people such ass myself. Doctor's should be proactive instead of analysing people's problems afterwards - hindsight is always 20/20.

Moleman · Post by **Moleman** » Fri Mar 22, 2002 4:18 am

Re: Re: Re: An "Intellectual" Joke?

Originally posted by Astafas

OMG! It's me, isn't it!? I'm outta here! *running towards forest to live like Robin Hood for rest of life (which would be very short, should CE ever get her hands on me)*

Run (to) Forrest, Run!