Dont Torture Your Children

nael · Post by **nael** » Tue Sep 30, 2003 8:54 pm

yeah, i had a few coaches...oddly enough they were the math teachers: pre-calculus and calculus.
but the chemistry teacher was just an embicile. my school was very rough, but i learned social skills i wouldn't have gotten at hoem or in a private school.

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Tue Sep 30, 2003 10:39 pm

@Corsair if you still read this thread: I am with you on not punishing your children if they work hard and try to do their best. People have very different talents, university studies is not what everybody wants or are suited for - there are other values in life, and other professions.

What I believe in is teaching kids instrinsic motivation - you do this for your own sake, because you find it meaningful, stimulating, fun or important. Punishement is not an efficient way to teach intrinsic motivation, as shown by many, many studies and experients of the learning process.

I myself grew up in a sort of mixed environment - as a small kid I was encouraged to do whatever I liked to do, and I went to primary school totally understimulated with the role of a co-teacher instead of a student. Simultaneously, I had a lot of pressure from the adult world to excell in my piano playing - which I did, but the discpline and the lack of instrinsic motivation made me quit playing since when I grew older, I realised I only did this in order to satisfy my family and my teacher. My advice to all parents would be to use positive enforcement as much as possible rather than punishment, and to focus a lot on encouraging what the child shows interest in doing.

Originally posted by Yshania
This is a kid that achieved highly, and is suddenly given work he was doing with ease some two years ago. Now, don't get me wrong, if his schooling level is appropriate, I don't mind the homework being easy...but he is already complaining of being bored in school - this is where I involve myself.

I sense there may come a time when this little boy does not think it cool to read, or to write stories, but whilst I have this advantage that is his interest and also something he does not feel overly challenged by, I would like to take advantage...

His teacher (who is not only new to this school, but new to teaching) reassures me she is gradually getting to know each child, and their abilities. I am happy with this, but I hope it is before he gets too distracted *sigh*

Highly talented children who are understimulated in school, is really a problem worth noting...both for the poor kids and their families, and for society.

There is actually an excellent Swedish longitudinal study that showed that kids who were high achievers and then became understimulated, often went through a period of asocal behaviour in the teens, before later in life, returning to an "academic path". The sad thing is thus that disturbing and asocial behaviour in school as well as risk-taking in the form of seeking stimulation elsewhere, was overrepresented both among the kids who were very high achivers before secondary school, and children who had learning disabilities or neuropsychiatric disorders (such as dyslexia or ADHD). In the Swedish pre-university school system where excellency is usually awarded with no opportunity for stimulation but instead expectations to help your classmates, it is not surprising that understimulated kids look elsewhere for stimulation and quite often drop out of school because of lack of motivation. I hope your son's school situation improves, but if he is already complaining that he is bored - what about other activities? I am sure you are doing what you can to keep him stimulated, but have you also suggested he take some kind of classes outside school, perhaps playing a musical instrument, learning dance or sports or art or another language?

Galuf the Dwarf · Post by **Galuf the Dwarf** » Thu Oct 02, 2003 10:08 am

CE: What do you interpret as a way of stimulating students in order to inspire good habits for learning and/or academic activities? Somehow, what you recently posted sounds rather intriguing.

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Thu Oct 02, 2003 10:27 am

Originally posted by Galuf the Dwarf
CE: What do you interpret as a way of stimulating students in order to inspire good habits for learning and/or academic activities? Somehow, what you recently posted sounds rather intriguing.

Many, if not all, kids are spontaneously curious about lots of things and this curiousity and drive to understand things and learn things should be encouraged by parents and the school system from an early age. Also, learning something and mastering something new, can in itself often be associated with a certain pleasure, a nice feeling. There are many ways to present issues and question in a way that both children an older students will find interesting and challenging, and it's very important not to kill people's spontanous drive to learn things with bad pedagogics, stress or understimulation.

I only teach postgraduate students, but what I try to do when I teach is to challenge my students with problems that are just a little bit above their current level of knowledge and I put a lot of foucs into the meaning of this knowledge - why is important, in a larger perspective?
When I'm supervisor to students, I also try to demonstrate in a concrete way what they can contribute with, and I put a lot of effort into teaching people how to think in a novel and creative way.

Scayde · Post by **Scayde** » Thu Oct 02, 2003 3:36 pm

Originally posted by C Elegans
...>I put a lot of foucs into the meaning of this knowledge <...

This is an attribute that each of the teachers who were truly inspirational to me shared...

IHateUsernames · Post by **IHateUsernames** » Sat Oct 04, 2003 12:38 pm

Danish schools are build around the kids that dont do well. We dont really have any options for "gifted" kids. They all try to make the kids that are a litle behind catch up with the rest. I find most classes extremely easy, exept german but im quite good at it. I cant get any extra work or anything.

My parents are talking about sending me to England for a year, between public school and "gymnasium" (no idea what this is in english), staying with my uncle and aunt and going to school there. The reasons for this are:
1. I need to learn something.

2: They are changing the "gymnasium". Before we had to go towards language or mathemathics. Now we will have both at first and later chose. If i dont go to England i will be in the first class ever to try this. So all the mistakes and everthing will be corected after my class.

corsair · Post by **corsair** » Sat Oct 04, 2003 9:43 pm

Hallo all, i am back from where ever i was. I was suprised to see such a large response to this and I am sorry 2 say I havent taken the time to read ALL of them (its quite a lot u know) But let me just say, on the suicide note, I have actually considered it before, but that was before I became a Christian (lets not start a religion debate) It still ticks me off a lot but I am an above average student (in certain areas) because I can ace a test with barley studyin and the kid next 2 me studied 4 hrs and got an 76. I know that my parents ride me because of this but, my averages are always a B or above. Everyonce in a while, everyone makes a bad grade, the only thing is is that my mother has acsess to ALL of my grades. My bro. who is majoring in mechanical engineering was 7th in his class when he left High School and he says that he occasionally made a 70 here and there and even made a 50 this semester at college on a test. He has an all A average. Oh, and to answer Fable's question, yes my parents are divorced. I have 2 go now cause I am kinda tired and to any future post: Wait a while for a reply.