Girl Help !!!

Ideal Maxima · Post by **Ideal Maxima** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 8:18 am

[QUOTE=fable] <snip>
I apologize for this digression, Dark Elf Nyte.

[/QUOTE]

It's okay, New members always deserve to know what we at Game Banshee do...

and @ Dink Martindale
besides for being a great place to learn and understand facts about life, games, etc , you can express your self here at SYM wether if it's a BIG problem or a little problem, or even a medeoker problem (like mine) you can post it in SYM so feel free to post here at SYM

and i dont mean to be rude or anything but can we get bak to my subject plz

a

now if you by any chance have forgotten my problem, it's how do u ask a girl out???

Ideal Maxima · Post by **Ideal Maxima** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 8:22 am

[QUOTE=Malta Soron]New idea: stay single! You're totally free and have no responsibility but for yourself! (And you help to stop this earth being over-crowded).[/QUOTE]

lol i'm not sure if i got the second part of your message rite but if i did here's my response...

ARE YOU CRAZY! I'M ONLY TWELVE! REPRODUCING IS THE LAAAAST THING ON MY MIND!

Malta Soron · Post by **Malta Soron** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 9:50 am

You're right. And it's always good to think long-term.

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 10:40 am

Trying to bear in mind that you and the girl are only 12, I'm going to offer you a female persective. Of course, these things are *always* subjective, and everybody is different, so remember that as well.

Okay.. now if I were in her shoes, the last thing I would want right now is for somebody to be putting the moves on me, I would, however, appreciate having a male friend close by. With time, I might even end up caring for that person.

The one thing to consider is this. Right now she is emotionally vulnerable. This means she is probably not thinking or feeling clearly, so it is possible she would end up reciprocating your feelings, only to later realise that she was mistaken and really only needed a shoulder to cry on at the time. Or worse.. she could wonder if you had tried to take advantage of her unhappiness.

I know, in her situation, I would be angry with anybody for making those moves while I was feeling hurt and confused. But, that is just me.

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 11:03 am

[QUOTE=Darc_Elv_Nyte]now if you by any chance have forgotten my problem, it's how do u ask a girl out???

[/QUOTE]

How you ask a girl out is simple, you just say: "Would you like to go to the movies/whatever with me some night?". Since this girl is your friend, you should tell her that you like her too, since otherwise she might not understand that you are making a romantic move.

However, I think that you should wait with making any romantic moves, for three reasons:

1. What DW says. Mind you, everybody is not like that, I for instance would not react more negatively towards somebody asking me out just because I had been rejected by somebody else. If I am interested in a person, that does not change depending on whether somebody else had rejected me or not. However, since I don't know the girl in question we cannot rule out that she might feel hurt or annoyed and view it like you are "taking advantage" of the situation.

2. Clearly she must have been interested in the guy she asked out. That means she is probably still focused on him, and it will take some time before she forgets about him.

3. If you ask her out now, there is a risk she may say yes to you not because she's really interested in you but because she has been rejected by somebody else. When you've been rejected, some people feel better if they get attention and love from somebody else even though they don't really like that person, it's just soothing for a hurt self confidence.

So advice is that you wait for a while.

Paranitis · Post by **Paranitis** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 11:24 am

What these people are expressing is what you would call the typical "rebound" situation. You do NOT want to be the "rebound guy" when you are dealing with personal feelings. Maybe if you were older then it might be something you were after, but not now.

Same with what some people here are saying, you need to wait it out, be her friend, try to help her out..don't mention liking her for a short while. IF she starts talking about another guy really soon then maybe you should just stay her friend..but wait at LEAST a week or two before you make a move.

giles337 · Post by **giles337** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 1:00 pm

Y'ever hear the old saying about them that dance with the Devil?

OMFD LMAO! That sums it up so well

Personally, with beautiful girls i just try n be good friends. I am naturally a nice person so it doesn't come to hard, and they feel, that as i am 'not a threat' they can be closer to me than most guys. Works for me

personally i'd tell her. if she says no, you've lost nothing, and she'll probably take it as a compliment. And contrary to belief, when people say no, it isn't that big a deal!

Sean The Owner · Post by **Sean The Owner** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 1:22 pm

[QUOTE=Malta Soron]New idea: stay single! You're totally free and have no responsibility but for yourself! (And you help to stop this earth being over-crowded).[/QUOTE]
then you can flirt with anyone you want

giles337 · Post by **giles337** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 1:28 pm

ok at the risk of enraging and alienating the female population of SYM, and in a totally uncharacteristic post (a friend put forward this idea): here goes:

If you really, care for her, let her try and get w/ the other guy, after all, then she'll be happy, and if the guy says no? well get her on the rebound

This post does not in any way represent my feelings about the situation. I do not agree with the content of this post, and do not wish to be judged because of it. Slag off my friend all you want. But not me.

dark_raven · Post by **dark_raven** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 1:29 pm

tell her that your feel sorry for her and that you will always be there for her, then wait till she is her happy self again and ask her out

Ideal Maxima · Post by **Ideal Maxima** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 7:18 am

i used 3rd person phycology with her to find out wot kind of guy she likes... (i tol her i'm gonna ask another girl out and i needed some help about wot to say, etc.) anyway i found out that she'd only go out with a handsome guy... ( i figure i'm pretty ugly... well i sure aint the best looking guy that's for sure) so does anybody know a way for a girl to like u... u know like flowers, a few charming words... things to make a girl like u without forcing her...

fable · Post by **fable** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 7:37 am

( i figure i'm pretty ugly... well i sure aint the best looking guy that's for sure)

I went through years of angst because of my Slavic features in the Anglo-Saxon States of America, and all for nothing. In short, as long as you don't look like a slob, dress like a used car salesman or walk and sound like Jerry Lewis, you'll still find plenty of women who will view you neutrally.

so does anybody know a way for a girl to like u... u know like flowers, a few charming words... things to make a girl like u without forcing her...

Charming words, flowers and candy are cute, but if you want the attention of the opposite sex (or any sex, or trees, if you're into asexual budding) then you have to be genuinely interested in the person you're speaking with, and show that. You can't fake it. You have to be interested in that other person as an individual, rather than as an object (to put it bluntly) of one's current hormonal fascination.

Ideal Maxima · Post by **Ideal Maxima** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 7:45 am

fable]<snip> I went through years of angst because of my Slavic features in the Anglo-Saxon States of America wrote:you have to be genuinely interested in the person you're speaking with, and show that[/i]. You can't fake it. You have to be interested in that other person as an individual, rather than as an object (to put it bluntly) of one's current hormonal fascination.

first of all i dont no hoo jerry luis is... but i do no by wot u ment by saying "dress like a salesman" i dont wanna alwas wear a tie and every thing... and besides i dont think she even likes that type of guy. She likes those guys that have a pretty face and dress... umm... stylish and i dont dress ike a slob either

EDIT: oh yeah i'm working on it but i'm a bit portly

well i hope i'm not portly much longer... i run 15 minutes, do 35 push-ups rite afterward, then 25 sit-ups, and lastly 100 jumping jax... i do this about 4 days a week and i dont eat any snacks...

Vicsun · Post by **Vicsun** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 7:57 am

[QUOTE=Darc_Elv_Nyte]but i do no by wot u ment by saying "dress like a salesman" i dont wanna alwas wear a tie and every thing... and besides i dont think she even likes that type of guy.[/QUOTE]
I'm not sure if I'm reading your post correctly, but it seems to me you misunderstood what fable was trying to say. Dressing like a used car salesman is generally bad.

Ideal Maxima · Post by **Ideal Maxima** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 8:05 am

o lol...

i didnt c used i thought he ment a car salesmen u no like at dodge or ford... they always wear ties and shirts i dont want to hav to dress like THAT

but since i tol u guys what she does like in a guy... any advice?

fable · Post by **fable** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 8:36 am

[QUOTE=Vicsun]I'm not sure if I'm reading your post correctly, but it seems to me you misunderstood what fable was trying to say. Dressing like a used car salesman is generally bad.

[/QUOTE]

What he says.

Used car salesmen are notorious (at least, in the US) for dressing in poorly fitted, ill-matching outfits, often with loud colors. And my reference to Jerry Lewis was to his spastic performances intended to be humorous.

In other words, if you don't look like you could care less about your personal appearance or hygiene, walk and move like a human and sound reasonably intelligent, you'll still find women who are interested in you as a person.

PS: And just as a thought, consider ditching the faux English. When I saw "hoo" instead of "who," "wot" for "what" and "no" for "know" I nearly didn't reply. It seemed as if you were wiping your feet on my language, yet expecting a response to your comments.

Ideal Maxima · Post by **Ideal Maxima** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 9:49 am

Oh, sorry about that.

That's just the way I'm used to typing. We had a long thread about that didn't we Fable?

Well, just as I promised in that thread, I will type like an ordinary person, and sorry about wiping my feet on your words... but I keep them squeeky clean

Anyway, so is there another way to make this girl like me without having to force her?

fable · Post by **fable** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 10:03 am

Well, just as I promised in that thread, I will type like an ordinary person, and sorry about wiping my feet on your words... but I keep them squeeky clean

Mind the big toes.

Anyway, so is there another way to make this girl like me without having to force her?

Well, yes. Didn't you read what I wrote, above?

To quote again:

"Charming words, flowers and candy are cute, but if you want the attention of the opposite sex (or any sex, or trees, if you're into asexual budding) then you have to be genuinely interested in the person you're speaking with, and show that. You can't fake it. You have to be interested in that other person as an individual, rather than as an object (to put it bluntly) of one's current hormonal fascination."

In other words, to get her interest, you have to be genuinely interested in her. As a person. With separate interests, perceptions on the world, experiences, etc. This will lead to real conversations, in which she perceives your interest in her as honest and forthright.

There are certainly other ways to get a woman's interest. This is just the best for building any longterm relationship.

Ideal Maxima · Post by **Ideal Maxima** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 11:49 am

How can I make her understand that I have interest in her?

dark_raven · Post by **dark_raven** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 12:02 pm

[QUOTE=Darc_Elv_Nyte]How can I make her understand that I have interest in her?

[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=dark_raven]follow your heart! but not at the expence of friendship.
[/QUOTE]
in other words, just tell her the truth, you love and wish that she goes out with you. but only do this if you think that it wouldn't mess up your friendship if she refuses.