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Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2004 11:52 am
by Magrus
When you first meet someone, for the first time, generally you see them before anything else, although I've met people through being spoken to before seeing them, which makes their voice stand out more in my mind than anything else in that case, but its usually they're appearance you keep in mind. This affects what you think of them and many people look down on others who are different, unfortunate but true. It's always been my belief I'll be who I am and anyone who doesn't approve of who I am shouldn't be around me. This caused no end of trouble while I was in school and generally anywhere now where the people I end up around are immature.
After getting to know someone, you tend to take them as they ARE, rather than how they look. I'd rather be around a slob with a great personality than someone who dresses in expensive clothes with a horrible one.
DEN, now that you know that you just needed a way to boost your confidence in yourself, do you plan on going back to dressing how you used to, or keep dressing differently just to fit in? I'm just curious.
Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2004 11:57 am
by Ideal Maxima
i bought these expensive clothes and i plan to wear them
i'll probaboly still be wearing my "other" clothese every once in a while, but I like these clothes, but just so you know, when the "new" style comes out, i won't be anywhere on that line to buy em
Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2004 12:06 pm
by Magrus
So you actually like them, well I suppose that works if you don't mind shelling out the money for expensive clothes. Every time I think of picking up something expensive, I remember throwing a party and opening a bottle of cherry coke that happened to be half frozen, and it spraying EVERYWHERE, including on the $150 shirt of the kid next to me that no one invited. Well, everyone thought it funny, except him, although I was quite upset I lost all my cherry coke. Luckily, what I like happens to come out cheap, granted there are expensive versions of it, but theres not at all enough difference to pay double or more the price on what I feel like wearing in those cases.
Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2004 12:09 pm
by Aegis
All I can say is that I'm glad I've reached a point where the clothing one wears, as long as it looks neat, and clean, is enough for most people. I pride myself on looking good, while maintaining my own style (usually a pair of casual dress pants, with either a T-shirt over a long sleeved white shirt, or a dark t-shirt under a light dress shirt). It's far less important as you get older to have to where the trendy clothing, which is simply marvelous, because it inevitably saves money.
Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2004 12:28 pm
by Volk
Dress in whatever makes you confortable and fits your style. clothes dont make a person and they dont make a good character or presonality, thats all based on experiance, self control and respect not clothing.
Sure they do create impressions which is rather unfortunate but i refuse to be controled by the fashion industry or the clothing of others around me.
Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2004 12:45 pm
by Aegis
[QUOTE=Volk]Sure they do create impressions which is rather unfortunate but i refuse to be controled by the fashion industry or the clothing of others around me.[/QUOTE]
Actually, I disagree with this. I don't think it's the fashion industry which controls us and the image we present, but rather ourselves. A person can where almost anything, and still present the same positive image if the clothes are neat, clean and well kept. You'll get a very different first impression (which is often an accurate one) if the person doesn't appear to take much care in the clothing they where (although, on occasion, those could just louging clothes).
Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2004 12:58 pm
by C Elegans
Darc_Elv_Nyte wrote:I just wanted to know, have you ever been manipulated by the opposite sex for attractive reasons?
Oh, many times, but the tools people use for manipulation have changed over age and also of course varies between individuals. When I was in your age (you are 13, right?) it was common that guys who were interested in me would try to act "cool" and "tough", pretend not be interested initially until I had demonstrated interest, etc. The "relationship game" ie how guys and gals pretend and play games with each other in order to protect their own vulnerability to rejection and potential social embarrasment, is thankfully most prominent when people are begin to have relationships, ie when they are young, inexperienced, emotionally less mature and often also insecure about what to do and what is "right" or "wrong". Thankfully, with age, this behaviour decrease and is replaced with a more "you are what you are and I am what I am and if you don't like me the way I am your love is worthless anyway since it's not the real me you love" attitude. Being "cool" and have the "right" attributes (such as clothes or music taste) will be replaced by people starting to looking for specific values they like in person.
So have any of you guys been changed by the opposite sex or changed by the motivation of being "cool"?
No, not really
As a youngster I was far too egocentric and full of myself ito bother about what other people thought about me. I came from a background where false smiling while speaking bad about each other behind the back, was viewed as totally acceptable. I hated it, so I acted from the principle that if people don't like me for what I am, then it has no value anyway. This attitude of mine attracted many friends and boyfriends who shared my values, so thankfully, my social life as a teen was dominated by a strive for authentic and honest relationships with other people who were also pretty full of themselves
It's funny, because one of my best friends has a daughter who is now 16 (I've known her since she was 6) and watching her grow up in mirroring my own developement is this regard. She's the kind of girl who when you ask her "do you have a boyfriend now?" will reply totally honestly, without a sense of bragging that "Of course I have, I'm far too goodlooking not to have a boyfriend", or when she gained weight a period and her mother says "Honey, aren't you butt getting a bit too big for you to wear those skimpy pants?" she replied "Not at all mum, it just looks feminine, and besides, what's the point with wearing baggy pants, the guys will see how big my butt is anyway when I take them off".
Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2004 1:32 pm
by frogus23
Clean & well kept clothes present no positive image IMO.
Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2004 1:54 pm
by Aegis
[QUOTE=frogus23]Clean & well kept clothes present no positive image IMO.[/QUOTE]
So tattered and dirty clothes present a better image? It's a matter of pride in one's appearance. It doesn't have to be dress clothing. It can be any sort of clothing. Having yourself appear neat and tidy, and with clothing in good condition is always a more positive impression than if you were to look as though you speant the last three weeks sleeping outside in the same clothing. Take some pride in how you present yourself, and people will look upon with a better impression.
Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2004 2:26 pm
by dragon wench
As I have already stated, I believe it is the person who makes the clothing.. and not the reverse.
I really do not think there is ever a justification for paying ridiculous sums of money simply to satisfy a certain image (certainly not when you get older anyway)..
However, that being said, there is one instance in which I will gladly pay extra for clothing... and that is when I know it has been ethically produced. By that I mean, when it is made from organic cotton and/or hemp (the pesticides that go on conventional cotton are amongst the most toxic in the world) and when it has been manufactured in conditions where workers are paid and treated well. The reason we see so much cheap clothing out there is because most of it has been produced in a sweatshop... either in the developing world or domestically...
Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2004 2:28 pm
by frogus23
I take considerable pride in how I look...Down to the curry stains across my ripped velvet suit. If I am the kind of person who wears velvet suits and gets in curry fights, I will be damned proud to look like the kind of person who wears velvet suits and gets in curry fights
People will only receive you better if they think that neatness is a virtue and that clean clothes look better than damaged, stained and screwed clothes, and these people are in the minority among my friends
Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2004 1:33 pm
by C Elegans
Aegis]I don't think it's the fashion industry which controls us and the image we present wrote:
I think the fashion industry, the music industry and media provide us with
symbols, but we ourselves choose what symbols we will use to transfer what message. By media exposure, certain values, musical styles, life styles and personality traits, are associated with certain clothing styles or brands. For young people, clothing symbols are often associated to music styles, such as hiphop music and the specific clothing and hair style you had there, rave music and connected clothing style, goth music and their specific clothing and make up style, etc. For adult people, the interest for subcultures and identification by music has often disappeared and instead, professional identity and social status may be more interesting to symbolise. People working in business often like to demonstrate that they make money by using expensive brands, people in social works often like to demonstrate that they are "alternative", people in media use clothes that show they are much concerned about looks and aware of the trends, etc. However, the interest to use clothes to create an image of yourself usually dimish after the teens, and people start using their personality more.
Aegis]So tattered and dirty clothes present a better image? It's a matter of pride in one's appearance. It doesn't have to be dress clothing. It can be any sort of clothing. Having yourself appear neat and tidy wrote:
frogus23 wrote:People will only receive you better if they think that neatness is a virtue and that clean clothes look better than damaged, stained and screwed clothes, and these people are in the minority among my friends
I agree with Frogus here (excluding the part that my friends prefer curry stains
), but I agree with Aegis in the sense that a vast majority of people will get a better impression of you if you wear clean and neat clothes. There are however subgroups where neat and clean clothes do not give a good impression: Frogus friends are one such group and I can tell you my lab is another such group. Not that (most) people go around and smell bad, but a general slob appearance of uncut unwashed hair, worn clothes, unshaven is the normal standard. Should anyone look like they have newly washed and even ironed clothes, it immediately rises the question what foreign hotshot is here to visit today. The idea of keeping nice and neat clothes, indicate that you have more time to spend on your clothes than the absolutely necessary (which is washing, nothing more) and perhaps even *gasp* time to
buy clothes. Spending time on styling would indicate that A) if you have free time to spend of styling, then perhaps you have to work more at the lab, hm? and B) if you giving styling a high priority, your priortities are suspicious - we are doing science here, nothing can be more important than that, and certainly not something as superficial as
your looks. Thus, keeping a neat and tidy look is not viewed as positive at my lab.
Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2004 7:40 pm
by hlaalumember
nope
na i havent been influenced that much i dress in what makes me feel good and i dont think others should say oh you cnt wear plaid i think that it looks good on me so ill wear it. at my scool red really is what is cool because over here the bloods and the crips run rampant (for those who dont know the bloods and crips are street gangs bloods wear red and crips wear blue) and people at my school like the bloods better but i wear blue (no affiliation with either gang) so people dont like me that much but i dont really give a care ill wear what i want when i want. ill wear my pajamas to the mall if i want to. nobody can tell me how to dress...........(except for my school we have a uniform at ND).........