Best. iPod. Accessory. Ever.

[Chimaera182]

I can see it now: Local Woman Cornholed by Greek Monster

August 11, 2006.

The streets have just gotten more dangerous.

"I was just walking to the store, minding my own business, when this monster jumped out at me," says Shana, local woman harrassed by crazed animal. "It's just not something you expect."

Shana was the third person this month to have an encounter with what authorities are claiming to be a chimaera. Chimaera, a creature with the body of a lion, a goat's head, and a serpent for a tail, is a beast from Greek mythology, not at all something one would expect to encounter in their daily lives.

The chimaera has been known to eat the villagers' sheep and to monopolize the first player controller of the PS2. Similar chimaera sightings have been reported in the vicinity of some Ft. Lauderdale bars. Several patrons, stumbling about after a night of revelry, claim to have had run-ins with the mythological creature.

"I saw him," asserts 32 year old Wallace Finkleby, avid porn watcher who lives with his parents. "I saw him sitting at the bar, drinking a Long Island Iced Tea. He was just perched there, waiting, drinking. I don't know what he was waiting for, but I wasn't planning on finding out!"

You are warned to avoid the chimaera. If spotted, make a hasty retreat. Do not make eye contact with him, and do not smile; showing your teeth to a chimaera is as dangerous as bearing your teeth to a dog. Only, Rover won't usually begin to systematically hump your leg when you smile.