Suppose you were Lisa Nowak's best friend in the whole world. An astronaut, wife, and mother of three, she is gifted, intelligent, and highly successful. You would expect her to be able to think things through and make good decisions. But then she tells you that she's having an adulterous affair with another astronaut (in this case, a bachelor who seems to have a pretty active sex life). She loves her husband and she's a good mother (as everyone who knows her will tell you), but she has to follow her heart's desire. If she passes up this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, she will regret it for the rest of her life. Just think of the pain she would suffer. Oh no, it's just unthinkable. If you would do the same thing she's doing, you say so. If you think it's a bad idea, you keep your mouth shut because you don't want to lose her as a friend. You tread carefully or else you might embitter her. If you lose her friendship, then she will suffer too, because she will no longer have anyone to turn to. You have to avoid that at all costs. You have to be there for her--it's your duty as a friend. You fret and worry because you are a witness to an intense drama. There might be some unpleasant consequences down the road, but there's no need to worry about them right now. As long as her husband doesn't find out, why shouldn't she run to the arms of her new soulmate?
Time passes, and she tells you that things aren't working out so well anymore. Her lover has a new girlfriend. The traitor! The bastard! How can he be so unfaithful after all they've been through together? She has to get him back, whatever it takes. You want to be a good friend and be supportive, so you don't tell her she's out of her mind. You tell her that everything is going to be alright. Maybe she can renew her relationship with her husband. Maybe she can find a new soulmate. Or maybe her soulmate will come to his senses and come back to her. You can't say anything bad to her because you CAN'T kick her while she's down. So you tell her she's being perfectly reasonable and you'll support her no matter what she decides to do. She's your best friend in the whole world.
Next thing you know, Lisa Nowak is arrested for attempted kidnapping and aggravated assault. Her story makes the national news, and she's an embarrassment to NASA, which doesn't even have a policy to deal with such crazy behavior. Her life is ruined, her family is torn apart, her career is over, and NASA has egg on its face, but hey--you were there for her, and that's all that counts. You stood by your principles and overlooked a little infidelity and obsessive behavior to protect your friendship, and you proved what a great friend you are. How proud you must be.
