NationStates

Chimaera182 · Post by **Chimaera182** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 7:58 am

That, Lestat, is the most bizarre issue I have now seen. I mean, the biology issue alone makes it bizarre. For one thing, both dogs and eagles are primarily carnivores (although I will admit to seeing my dog in the past eat grapes as well as grass and even dead carambolas [it wasn't bad enough she ate the carambolas, but she ate the dead, rotten, very nasty-looking ones right off the ground and left fresher ones alone]); if they're going to be interfering with farms, they'll be snatching chickens or maybe even raiding pig pens. For another, the very definition of "species" precludes the notion of breeding one species with another, since any offspring that that might somehow result in would be infertile anyway and that new mixed species wouldn't be able to reproduce.

I would dismiss that issue so fast... although, if you caught several of these eagle-dogs and domesticated them, you're talking a pretty nifty--and highly exclusive/lucrative--pet and guard animal.

Lestat · Post by **Lestat** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 8:03 am

And I have a relatively normal national animal...

I'm just waiting for Fiona or DJ to get this issue...

Damuna_Nova · Post by **Damuna_Nova** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 8:05 am

I've just got this issue:

The Issue

A group of concerned parishioners and soccer moms has petitioned the government of Phennispharren to outlaw heavy metal music, which they fear is a bad influence on youngsters.
The Debate

1. "Heavy metal music is a plague in our good nation and its God-fearing people!" argues local priest and easy listening advocate Aaron Shiomi. "Just the other day, I heard a song by some group called Hell's Irate Puppies with a sinful quantity of bass and drum... oh, and there were probably some lines about killing parents, too, I'd imagine! It's vital that we ban this music, and remove this terrible influence from our children's lives! Think of the children!"
[Accept]

2. "Whoa, man... what's with the, like, censorship and stuff?" asks Max Dodinas, scruffy-haired bassist of the popular speed metal band The Destroyinators. "You can't, like, censor the music, man. That's how we express ourselves! Every bass beat is me baring my soul! Every howl is me complainin' about how my parents tried to kick me out of their basement! Besides, what's wrong with Satan? He's just misunderstood anyway. I say promote the arts, man!"
[Accept]

3. "You know, this heavy metal issue has me thinking," says Jean-Paul Silk, your brother, over your weekly game of cribbage. "If these long-haired freaks want to put out their devil-worshipping metal, why don't we let them? Of course, we'll put a little subliminal propoganda into every song... after all, don't these guys owe their freedom of expression to you?"
[Accept]

That's both hilarious and insane at the same time.

Darzog · Post by **Darzog** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 8:09 am

You're siding with the God-freaks, right? You know you want to.

Damuna_Nova · Post by **Damuna_Nova** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 8:11 am

[QUOTE=Darzog]You're siding with the God-freaks, right? You know you want to.[/QUOTE]

I'm going with freedom of expression.

Chimaera182 · Post by **Chimaera182** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 8:32 am

I'd probably go for the subliminal propaganda bit myself, although I've seen it mentioned time and again that subliminal messages don't really work. But in this game, it would probably lead to some extreme conclusion.

dj_venom · Post by **dj_venom** » Thu Jul 20, 2006 12:37 am

@Lestat: :laugh: ! I thought my country had some strange practices, but I take my hat off to you goodsir. And we've stopped uraniaum mining, so there's plenty of forest for those salesmen to get up to their business, should be interesting...

Fiona · Post by **Fiona** » Thu Jul 20, 2006 12:44 pm

libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars.

Hurray!!

Darzog · Post by **Darzog** » Thu Jul 20, 2006 12:59 pm

The Issue
A loose coalition of sartorially-challenged individuals known as "Let It All Hang Out" has called on the government to relax public nudity laws.

The Debate
1. "For too long, our bodies have been trapped in these prisons of cotton and polyester!" yelled protester Calvin Licorish, while apparently developing a nasty case of sunburn. "We must repeal the puritanical laws that make public nudity a crime. My body--my choice to dangle!"
2. "I agree," mused sociology professor Konrad Mistletoe. "But I don't think the protestors are going far enough. Public nudity shouldn't be an option: it should be compulsory. Nudity is highly liberating. And it would put that disgusting "Hooters" out of business once and for all."
3. "Whoa, whoa," says noted accountant Aaron Fellow. "Are these people serious? The last thing I want to see when I'm out for a coffee is some lumbering, over-weight nudist coming down the sidewalk toward me. If people want to get naked, they can do it in the privacy of their own homes. Think of the children!"

Sorry, but I gotta go for cumpulsory nudity. I think it's time to forget about doing this "for real" for awhile and just go crazy.

"All work and no play make Homer something something."
"Go crazy?"
"Don't mind if I do!"

Damuna_Nova · Post by **Damuna_Nova** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 6:26 am

The Issue

A medical report has detailed a twenty-fold increase in infection rates over the past ten years of the sexually transmitted disease VODAIS (Viral Overactive Dysfunction of the Auto-Immune System). People all over the nation are petitioning that the government do something about the epidemic.
The Debate

1. "This situation is about to explode. At this rate, this epidemic could severely impact our economy, our way of life, and even our government," says Doctor Buffy Longfellow. "We must supply powerful drugs to all infected people, even if we have to produce and distribute it ourselves. We must also educate people on the dangers of VODAIS and supply condoms to all sexually active males. Sure, we'll need to divert tax money from the military to fund all this, but what good is a military if the soldiers are too sick to fight?"
[Accept]

2. "If you supply condoms, you'll increase sexual promiscuity," scoffs religious leader Billy-Bob Wall. "If you supply drugs, you'll risk creating an aura of invincibility which in turn increases sexual promiscuity. Sexual abstinence is 100% effective in preventing VODAIS infection. This knowledge must be taught at all schools and workplaces, and all other choices must be ridiculed. Make celibacy the only option!"
[Accept]

3. "Supplying drugs and condoms will not stop VODAIS infections and forcing everyone to be celibate will be the slow death of Phennispharren," whispers Health Minister Billy-Bob McGuffin in a poorly-lit back room. "Segregating the infected people is the most effective method. Everybody in Phennispharren must be tested for VODAIS. Then all the VODAIS positive people will be shipped to seperate gated communities away from the rest of us. If they need to mingle with uninfected people, then they must wear distinguishing badges that feature a Grim Reaper holding a skeletal black hawk."
[Accept]

Number three is actually strangely appealing.

dj_venom · Post by **dj_venom** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 6:47 am

I don't think I'll get that issue. I have no military to divert funds from.

Damuna_Nova · Post by **Damuna_Nova** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 6:58 am

Yeah, well, I wasn't aware that I had one, so you never know.

Darzog · Post by **Darzog** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 7:03 am

DJ doesn't have an army? Sweet, INVASION Baby!!!!!!

Damuna_Nova · Post by **Damuna_Nova** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 7:08 am

[QUOTE=Darzog]DJ doesn't have an army? Sweet, INVASION Baby!!!!!![/QUOTE]

I'll help if I can get some of his women, some of his men, and...erm...some of his snakes. :mischief:

Darzog · Post by **Darzog** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 7:09 am

You're all infected.... why would I want you bleeding next to me?

Wait, I mean, sure..... you go in a mingle with DJ.... that'll work.

dj_venom · Post by **dj_venom** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 7:17 am

Yeah, we would have an army, but some people in our highly religious/political freedom land believe owning guns is badluck.

Chimaera182 · Post by **Chimaera182** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 7:50 am

[QUOTE=Fiona]libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars.

Hurray!!

[/QUOTE]
Niiiiice.

I'm totally coming to your country when I need research done. :laugh:

[QUOTE=Damuna_Nova]Number three is actually strangely appealing.[/QUOTE]
I agree, although that option would just turn you into a complete Nazi. I always considered that an extreme option to AIDS, but you know you'll catch a ton of flak for it if you enact it.

[QUOTE=Darzog]You're all infected.... why would I want you bleeding next to me?

Wait, I mean, sure..... you go in a mingle with DJ.... that'll work.

[/QUOTE]
ROFL!

Gosh, I was greeted by one of the most bizarre issues this morning; not because the issue itself was bizarre, but because I changed my national animal a week ago.

The fierce debate on politician hunting in Qasama has been brought to your attention after vociferous supporters of both sides of the argument stormed your parliament.

The Debate
"Politician hunting is a cruel and horrible 'sport' for the wealthy," says Peggy Washington of the 'Protect Anything Cute and Furry Society'. "How can you possibly justify it? Oh, they witter on about 'tradition' and 'pest control' and other such nonsense, but really we all know it's because these sadists love to torture poor, innocent animals! Hunting must be banned!"
[Accept]

"Banning politician hunting would be the end for centuries of tradition!" wails esteemed aristocrat Melbourne Gutenberg from atop his steed. "The thrill of the chase, the baying of the hounds, the politician scooting through the undergrowth - it would be a travesty! We provide much needed stimulus to the local tourism, and you can't deny that politicians are pests - killing farmers' livestock for example! I propose that politician hunting be encouraged, for the cultural - and economic - benefit of the nation!"
[Accept]

"Well, you know what I think?" asks Elizabeth Steele, while helping to assemble a small trebuchet. "I reckon that the real issue about this sport is the cruelty aspect, and no-one can deny that sending a pack of dogs to tear apart a poor, innocent politician is cruel. I reckon we should just ban hunting with hounds and only allow kinder and more instantly lethal methods like guns, tranquillisers, and cruise missiles."
[Accept]

"I'm firmly against the slaughter of dumb animals," :laugh: says Aaron Shiomi, while feeding an infant politician with a milk bottle. "It would be best if the animals didn't die, and hunters could still do what they love to do - how about instead of shooting them or sending vicious canines after them, the hunter runs up to his quarry and gives it a symbolic 'tap' with his hand? Now isn't that much nicer for everyone?"
[Accept]

:laugh: Changing my national animal seriously just paid for itself.

Damuna_Nova · Post by **Damuna_Nova** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 7:54 am

ROFLMAO! :laugh:

I want to go politician hunting!

Chimaera182 · Post by **Chimaera182** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 2:49 pm

Hooray! I'm not an Inoffensive Centrist Democracy anymore! I'm back to being a Father Knows Best State (as of this morning, pre-politician hunting issue). Civil Rights are very good due to my siding with minors on a curfew issue. But I'm about to come down hard on that; I just got an issue parodying the Muhammed cartoon in Denmark, and one of the options is to outlaw religion entirely and institutionalize people, because clearly "anyone who believes in some big invisible dude who can do anything is clearly nuts."

Damuna_Nova · Post by **Damuna_Nova** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 5:07 pm

The Issue

Recently, there has been increased commotion from your citizens about the possible health risks caused by using mobile phones.
The Debate

1. "Have you seen these statistics?!" yells anti-mobile lobbyist Gregory McGuffin, gesturing towards a wiggly line on a clipboard. "Mobile phones now kill more people in this country than exploding cupboards, the ironing board, and Godzilla put together! And that's not including the number of people who die every year from car crashes caused by chit-chat while driving! These things fry your brain with microwaves while you speak! We must ban mobile phones now!"
[Accept]

2. "This is utter nonsense," argues Zeke Love, CEO of Amber Phones, while nonchalantly slipping a wad of danayems into your pocket. "Mobile phones are totally harmless - I'll have you know that not one of our privately-funded studies has found the slightest bit of evidence to the contrary! Have you ever seen anyone drop dead in the street just because they were chatting on one of our new M/A models for sale now at low, low prices? No! It's just blatant scaremongering! I implore the government to dismiss these crackpots' complaints."
[Accept]

3. "I don't believe they're harmful either," says Violet Spirit, a teacher. "But it's obvious to everyone what a detrimental effect it has on our children! Everywhere I look, I'm seeing children as young as four tapping away at the blasted things! Do you know how many lessons I've had interrupted by the 'Crazy Black hawk' ringtone? Do you know how many of my pupils think 'great' is spelled with a number? Too many! Only adults should be allowed to own and use mobile phones!"
[Accept]

While hilarious, this issue is so dismissed.