Page 14 of 29
Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2003 10:15 pm
by Nightmare
Originally posted by VoodooDali
The Rogue Nation of VoodooDaliania welcomes the Empire of a Masquerade to SYM. Please accept 10 Chill Pills and a pet lemur as a token of our hospitality.
wonders what this means..another RandomThugonia? Or a different thing altogether?
Accepts suspiciously...and you may have a single Mask, and possibly a feather from a Raven.
*parades the gifts in front of his "playthings", and walks off without giving them away*
Evil is fun.
Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2003 10:32 pm
by Scayde
*Cautiously recognizes the Empire of a Masquerade and tosses them strings of cheap plastic beads*.
Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2003 10:48 pm
by Nightmare
Yay! Beads.
Are they multi-coloured?
At 11:45 PM, today, the Empire of a Masquerade declared war on the Empire of Shadow Lord, after being accused of owning "bunny slippers".
Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2003 10:54 pm
by Weasel
Originally posted by RandomThug
How do you search for the gambling thing? I've had gambling as my main thing since day 1 ...
Click the (2) or (3) under the top 10. It will tell all the way to the 30th country.
13. The Dictatorship of Randomthugonia
Why this low..economy maybe.
Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2003 11:43 pm
by Tamerlane
More Issues
Several major city streets were clogged with bicycles this morning, as the environmental group 'Two Wheels Good, Four Wheels Bad' staged a protest. Several hundred riders ambled through downtown streets, blissfully ignoring the torrent of abuse hurled at them by thousands of motorists running late for work.
The Debate
"People are sick of dirty, smelly automobiles," said protest organizer Beth Fellow. "They're choking the city, the environment--our lives! Cars must be banned!"
[Accept]
"The only thing people are sick of is long-haired idiots riding their bicycles at two miles an hour on major thoroughfares," says committed motorist Bill Christmas. "People shouldn't be able to protest like this. The government needs to crack down on them."
[Accept]
The Automotive Manufacturers Association, meanwhile, has called for government support. "It's clear that we need to boost the level of automobile support in this country. This protest this morning is a clear indication of... um... anyway, we need more government funds."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 3.
Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2003 12:46 am
by Maharlika
Talk about kenderluck!
...shiny ones!
The Issue
Prospecting company Nukes4U has uncovered a large uranium deposit in Maharlika's south-west.
The Debate
"This is terrific find!" claims Nukes4U CEO Max Licorish. "It will provide an enormous stimulus to our economy and create thousands of new jobs. It's win-win! All we need from the government is permission to bulldoze the rainforest that's on top of the deposit."
[Accept]
"You've got to be kidding," says Green politician Billy McGuffin. "This rainforest is thousands of years old! This country needs more environmental protection, not less. And to destroy the environment in order to mine uranium that then goes into nuclear bombs--well, that really sticks in my craw."
[Accept]
"There's no need for an either-or decision," says the government's Minister for Mining, Clear-Felling, and the Environment. "We can preserve most of the rainforest and allow mining of a small part. After all, think of all the good that the money from this uranium deposit can bring to Maharlika."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 3.
Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2003 12:55 am
by Tamerlane
Its all good to brag about your vast deposits but what about establishing a trade agreement with us. We could rule the world, well the SYM region at least.
Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2003 1:16 am
by Maharlika
*wears special suit and gloves*
Originally posted by Tamerlane
Its all good to brag about your vast deposits but what about establishing a trade agreement with us. We could rule the world, well the SYM region at least.
...you want trade? Okay, here you go, have a sample. 
*hands Tam a "live" sample of uranium*
Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2003 7:31 am
by der Moench
When will these peasants learn!? I can't be bothered with "the sanctity of life!"
Yet another issue that required dismissal ...
The Issue: Scientists using cloned human embryos for research are on the verge of a medical breakthrough.
The Debate "It's really very exciting," says lab head George W. Chicago. "Until now, we've kept very quiet, to avoid being targeted by lunatic fringe groups who for some reason think it's wrong to clone human embryos. It's too early to promise anything, but we hope that one day we will have genetic cures for a whole range of debilitating illnesses. I certainly hope the government will support our work."
"Well, if you have to be part of a lunatic fringe group to object to this barbaric practice, I'm a lunatic," says placard-waving protestor Dave McAlpin. "Of course it would be nice to cure these unnamed diseases, but at what cost? They're messing with the sanctity of human life. It's wrong, and the lab should be shut down immediately."
The government is preparing to dismiss this issue.
I sent Mr. Chicago and Mr. McAlpin off to split a keg. When I checked in on them last, they were singing "Ninety-nine test-tube clones on the wall, ninety-nine test-tube clo-o-o-ones ... " Another amicable reconciliation through the magic that is my beer!
Peace.
Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2003 7:48 am
by Tamerlane
Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2003 10:10 am
by VoodooDali
The Issue
It's time for the government to hire a new religious advisor. Your people have narrowed down the candidates to:
The Debate
Catholic Archbishop Violet Broadside: boasts an excellent track record, having rapidly increased church attendances in his constituencies through the "Reaching God Through Guilt" program. Seen as a solid choice.
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
New Age thinker Thomas Christmas: a left-field candidate with some radical ideas. "For me, it's not about the name of your religion. It's about discovering your spirituality in whatever guise that takes. Some people call that a cult: I call it taking spirituality to the people."
[Accept]
Finally, there's Buffy Love. "If I am awarded the appointment, I will immediately resign," the ex-schoolteacher has declared. "Because, frankly, God is a big load of hokey. I'll be doing everyone a favor by just shutting up about it."
[Accept]
The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 1.
Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2003 3:38 pm
by Tybaltus
Word up
The Largest Soda Pop Sector in SYM
1.
The Empire of Tropicalis Corporate Police State
2.
The Empire of Lord Stalker Capitalist Paradise
3.
The Rogue Nation of VoodooDaliania Scandinavian Liberal Paradise
4.
The People's Republic of Aegisia Authoritarian Democracy
5.
The Free Republic of Bloodonya Corporate Bordello
6.
The Dictatorship of Randomthugonia Psychotic Dictatorship
7.
The Dominion of Pornografitti Moralistic Democracy
8.
The Free Land of Beldinia Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
9.
The Empire of Dave-rovia Capitalist Paradise
10.
The Holy Empire of The Ummah Tyranny by Majority
w00t! Go us!
Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2003 3:47 pm
by Robnark
30. The People's Republic of Aggrovatia Scandinavian Liberal Paradise
hehe. I r0x0r.
Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2003 4:07 pm
by fable
I had the same thing happen. My Dominion of Falbicious went from being an Inoffensive Centrist Democracy to a Scandanavian Liberal Paradise, today.
I could wish.
Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2003 4:19 pm
by VoodooDali
Re: Word up
Originally posted by Tybaltus
The Largest Soda Pop Sector in SYM
1. The Empire of Tropicalis Corporate Police State
2. The Empire of Lord Stalker Capitalist Paradise
3. The Rogue Nation of VoodooDaliania Scandinavian Liberal Paradise
4. The People's Republic of Aegisia Authoritarian Democracy
5. The Free Republic of Bloodonya Corporate Bordello
6. The Dictatorship of Randomthugonia Psychotic Dictatorship
7. The Dominion of Pornografitti Moralistic Democracy
8. The Free Land of Beldinia Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
9. The Empire of Dave-rovia Capitalist Paradise
10. The Holy Empire of The Ummah Tyranny by Majority
w00t! Go us!
I believe the success of the Rogue Nation of VoodooDaliania's Soda Pop Sales is due to the fact that Mellow Out (TM) soda contains a small amount of Chill Pill in it.
TODAY'S SPECIAL: BUY ONE CASE OF MELLOW OUT (TM), GET ONE FREE.
Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2003 6:18 pm
by Robnark
Proclamation
Our esteemed Chairman Nark is proud to announce a pioneering development in the ecologically-minded agricultural technology sector.
The many powerful cyborgs that form the basis of our farming program are going to form a platform for new technology being developed by the leading scientists of Casio Tones.
The substantial woodchip production capability of Casio Tones and the large uranium mining projects have provided us with many exciting opportunities in environmentally friendly agriculture, or - to use the official project name - the "Radioactive Cyborg-mounted Atomic Woodchip Plasma Doomsday Weapon".
This joint venture will be sure to increase the efficiency and effectiveness of both our agricultural economies, as well as some possible indirect potential for military purposes. Furthermore, the trade of our major resources - woodchips, uranium and cyborgs - will greatly contribute towards the economies and noble way of life of both our renowned nations.
Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2003 6:32 pm
by Chanak
The Free Land of Casio Tones
The Free Land of Casio Tones is pleased to announce economic and scientific cooperation with The People's Republic of Aggrovatia. Zen Master CEO Chanak said at a news conference this morning:
"Our greatest scientific minds are hard at work with the brilliant researchers of our esteemed partners in Aggrovatia in the realm of neo-agricultural cybernetic industry. Our grand joint project, the "Radioactive Cyborg-mounted Atomic Woodchip Plasma Doomsday Weapon," is sure to boost yields from arable land by as much as 500%, utilizing advanced atomic methods. While the details of our joint research are not available for public consumption at this time, rest assured that our scientists, farmers, and cyborgs sequestered in our remote, highly secret, and horrifically secured Research Complex are well on their way to making this dream a reality. Soon, SYM shall be the safest, and most productive, region on the planet. Thank you."
Zen Master CEO Chanak agreed to field one question from the Press before departing for a summit talk with Chairman Nark in Aggrovatia:
Press: "Sir, whatever happened to the title 'Benevolent Dictator'?"
Zen Master CEO Chanak replied: "While the gesture from my people was warmly received by myself and my family, I felt that it didn't accurately reflect my vision for our nation. It is not my intention to tell the people of Casio Tones what to do; rather, I wish to offer my guidance along the road they wish to travel. Zen Master and CEO more accurately reflects the role I wish to fill for the people of The Free Land of Casio tones. Thank you."
Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2003 9:20 pm
by Weasel
The Republic of The Tyrant Weasel
"Do Unto Others Before They Do Unto You"
UN Category: Compulsory Consumerist State
Civil Rights: Some
Economy: Very
Strong Political Freedoms: Few
Location: SYM
The Republic of The Tyrant Weasel is a small, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its strong anti-business politics. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 10 million are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.
The government -- a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, pro-business morass -- devotes most of its attentions to Law & Order, with areas such as Religion & Spirituality and Social Welfare receiving almost no funds by comparison. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 26%. Private enterprise is illegal, but for those in the know there is a slick and highly efficient black market in Gambling.
Young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables, all major public areas are watched by police surveillance cameras, thieves are flogged in public for their crimes, and the streets are increasingly clogged with poverty-stricken beggars. Crime is a serious problem. The Tyrant Weasel's national animal is the goat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the tea bag.
Issue
The Tyrant Weasel's TV soaps--famous around the region--have come under fire for their lack of ethnic diversity.
The Debate
"Every night my family and I sit down to watch 'The Brash and the Backstabbing'," says George W. Love. "But where are the Liliputians like myself? Where are the Bigtopians? The Marche Noirians? People from those cultures can be just as brash and backstabbing, but we never see them on the screen. The government must act to remove this silent apartheid from our TV screens."
[Accept]
"Those Liliputians don't know how good they have it," says Buy Thiesen, spokesperson for the Tasmanians Against Ethnic Stereotyping. "Tasmanians are on television all the time, but always in crude, stereotypical roles. The answer is not to enforce ethnic quotas, but to award government prizes for the positive portrayal of minorities. That'll work better, and be cheaper, too."
[Accept]
"The government should do what now?" says TV studio executive Buy Broadside. "You've got to be kidding. We make soaps here, not documentaries. I should be able to put whichever characters I want into my shows. Quotas! Government prizes! God save me! Hasn't the government got anything better to do? Why don't they just back off and let society work out these things on its own?"
Seems 3 is the answer.
Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2003 9:41 pm
by VoodooDali
The Issue
The Department of Defense has put its case for a substantial increase in funding for the coming financial year.
The Debate
"There are turbulent times we live in," says Defense Chief Jazz McGuffin. "Turbulent and dangerous. And the only sensible response to that, of course, is to build a lot more weapons. Unless we get the funding we need, I can't promise that we'll be able to defend VoodooDaliania's sovereign borders from rogue nations and foreign powers. Or those leaky boatloads of refugees, for that matter."
[Accept]
"NO MORE BOMBS," chant the protestors outside Parliament House, in a repetitious and increasingly annoying appeal. Spokesperson Peggy O'Bannon, speaking through a feedback-afflicted microphone, says, "VoodooDaliania needs fewer weapons, not more! Make the world a safer place! Disarm now!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2003 10:48 pm
by Tamerlane
A group of emergency room doctors has petitioned the government to introduce mandatory organ donations.
The Debate
"It's not as crazy as it sounds," says Dr. Buy McGuffin. "Every day, people die because we don't have the organs to save them. Well, that and widespread under-funding of the health system. But the point is, if the government allowed us to take organs from dead people, we could save hundreds of lives a year. And come on, it's not like dead people need them."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
Makes sense I guess
"You keep your damn hands off my organs!" says alarmed hospital patient Al Mistletoe. "They are my organs, and I'll do with them what I like. The government has no right to my body."
[Accept]
The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 1.
In other news, the economy has gone from the powerhouse status to all consuming.