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Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2001 2:53 pm
by Omar
---Omar(reaching explosion level) :"HEEEEE!!!! Is anyone going to open this door or what!!??! UBIK!!!!! You lousy troll f*cker!!!! Open this door!!!"

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2001 2:59 pm
by Waverly
LOL @ seabass et omar. Better send the gollems in with a mop.

@Seabass, told you. Would Waverly ever lead you astray? Image

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2001 2:59 pm
by Ubik
Troll ****er??? Image

Rotflmao

Image Image Image

OK, here you go too:

After finishing with everybody else, Ubik gets a notice from one of his golems that a man - apparently a dark elf - is trying to get in from the secret entrance.
"Damn, let the man in, it is Omar"

They meet a couple of minutes later and Ubik tells Omar to go to bed, he must be reaaaaally tired, and orders some wine, cheese and cookies ( Image) for him.

Then he summons a horny nymph (with his lvl 3 spell "summon horny nymph, ofcourse) and tells her to go and entertain poor Omar for a while...

"poor bastard, lost his nymph summoning device... must be really depressed by now"

lmgdbao...

(btw Seabass, that little ..."accident" of yourse is gonna const you dearly... in cash!)

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Ubik, chairman of COTHMBG2G, Cookie Giver, Evil leader and generally a pain in the arse

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2001 3:03 pm
by Ubik
Weasel, come out of there, I have cookies for you... come boy, come on! cookies for my boy! here, you like cookies, don't you? Don't you... hey! No, not again! Stop it you horny bastard, go away, no... no, not my leg... GO!!!"

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Ubik, chairman of COTHMBG2G, Cookie Giver, Evil leader and generally a pain in the arse

[This message has been edited by Ubik (edited 01-25-2001).]

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2001 3:23 pm
by Omar
---Omar (with clenched teeth):"Go to bed, Ubik? I am really tired? I....just....woke up...and...came..Strolling..THRough..YOUR..****.AND YOU TELL ME TO GO TO BED!!!!"
He looks at the nymph and the d*ldo lying on the ground and becomes redhot.
---Omar:" I assume this is my reward! You have to do better then that, mage!"
---Omar attacks nymph.
---Nymph:damage taken (25)
---Nymph:death.
---Omar (cooling down):"So,that is that! Do not toy with me like this again, Ubik! I am here to discuss the matter of which you told me earlier, in more detail! Particularly,what will I gain from this? And for your kind information: I want some of my reward beforehand! "

Your turn,Ubik!

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2001 3:24 pm
by Aegis
Aegis followed the Hakeshar through Magus world. In the distance, he saw a large tower. It must be where Magus is, he thought to himself. As he walked behind his guide, the tower seemed to closer, but not seem to move. Aegis felt an odd sensation as he walked through this magical world. Only once before had he ever experianced such a magical presence, and that was when had experianced a Planer Vacation. He had ended up in the lands of Krynn, Anasalon. He had been transportated to Palthanas, the wealthiest of Cities in Krynn, riveled only by the fabeled City of Istar, which had sunk below the water, and was now covered by a violent Maelstrom. It was there he had felt as much power as this. He had felt from a Practitioner of dark magics, named Raistlin. He hoped to never feel that power again, he wish was not granted.

The Hakeashar wakened Aegis from his deep train of thought...

Hakeshar: We have arrived at the tower, Paladin. Enter, and report to my master. Touch nothing in the tower, or you will surely regret it. Remember, I will have my eyes on you...

Aegis nodded, distilled from the spectral being. He cautiously entered the tower. As he did so, his instinct, and natural distrust of magic forced him to loosen his sword from it's scabberd. He walked through the centre hallway until reaching a spiral staircase. He looked at the dusty stairs, and found steps that were recently made. He was not the only person Magus had summened.

He made his way up the stairs before finding the large iron doors to Magus's labratory. He pushed one open, and entered the room. He saw Magus in the room, with another figure he did not recognize at first.

Aegis: Magus, I presume?...

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I am the defender of the light! The champion of Justice! And the slayer of really big lizards!

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2001 3:25 pm
by Waverly
And they thought the ripper was Francis Tublety... Omar we gotta talk... Image Image Image

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2001 3:36 pm
by Ubik
off plot

err...Omar, my friend, that shrink friend of mine, he could see you too.... the prize will be fine, don't worry, and everything will be ok...


(to the story... and that's it)

Ubik: Bhaal!!! you are in an even worst condition (if that is possible... he he) than the last time we have met, Omar.
Nothing can be discussed right now. Nothing further. I am putting the pieces of the puzzle together and in a few days we shall be able to go on... for now, take this gold and have some fun, kill a dozen or two, or whatever pleases you... darn, did you had to slaughter that nymph here? You made a mess... Oh, forget it, I am tired (tired of moronic savages like you, he thinks) go away, this is all we had to say... And don't forget to close the door when leaving...


Image


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Ubik, chairman of COTHMBG2G, Cookie Giver, Evil leader and generally a pain in the arse

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2001 3:53 pm
by Weasel
Weasel.."Cookies or no cookies I not coming out of this cell till later."

Thinking to himself ....And I'm supposes to be the one who needs to be put in a loony bin.'

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The Defender of Truth ;)

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2001 4:01 pm
by Omar
Off plot: Heee guys,you know me better than that Image I am just roleplaying! Image

Omar takes the money, satisfied for now. After all, he needs the money for decent foods and lodgings too, like everyone else!
---Omar:"Thank you Ubik! But let me tell you one thing: if you continue in this arrogant way of yours and keep playing with me like I am some sort of toy then...." Omar touches his scimitars and smiles."Yes! Indeed!Chop chop time!"

Omar leaves the Sphere (via the dammned sewers!)and some time later emerges in the Slums.
---Omar;"Well,this past day has sure been productive. Now,where in this garbage heap could I find some solid entertainment?"
Then his eyes spot a harlot, and another one and another one! Omar grins!
---Omar:"Thank you Lloth! You have made the day for this lowly Drow male!"
He walks over to the first one.
---Omar:"He!Woman! Mind sleeping with a Drow?"
---Harlot:" I will sleep with anyone, as long as you pay me up front,sugar!"
---Omar:"No problem!" He throws her Ubik's bag of coins."Here you go!But on one condition: bring along those two." He points to the other two harlots.
---harlot:"With this kind of money: no problem at all, no problem at all! Hey girls! Looks like this one is in threesomes! And he has plenty of money too!"

Things settled, Omar and the three harlots head off to his room in the Crooked Crane.

To be continued...

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2001 4:24 pm
by Gruntboy
Notes:
Egyptian dildos? Image A graffiti artist? Serial killing Drow, an agarophobic cellmate, a nymphomaniac necromancer and Waverly ( Image)? The armies of hell are really, really FUBAR. I think we scared the good guys off!

PS. You really got my character clocked waverly - flogging porno and stealing off the merchants, ROTFLMAO! Image

[This message has been edited by Gruntboy (edited 01-25-2001).]

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2001 7:02 pm
by Waverly
Waverly and GB have reported to the planar sphere as directed. Waverly is amazed at the mess... dead Nymph (fer shame!) broken phallic statue, and he could swear he smelled urin.

To Ubik: "Eventful day?"

Note: Waverly has studied the missing page to the point of memorizing it, but he can't make heads or tales of it. He has it stuck in his pack amoung the books he couldn't bring himself to sell Image

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\^/averly
roaster of inquisitve paladins

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2001 7:14 pm
by Weasel
Eventful day!!! ROTFLMAO this has got to be the crazies group of bad guys to ever live. I missed Seabass rampage.LMAO

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The Defender of Truth Image

[This message has been edited by Weasel (edited 01-25-2001).]

Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2001 2:42 am
by Rail
Wow! Did I pick the wrong side to spy on, or what? Image

I could have been directing Omar to Weasel's cage, pickpocketed Waverly's orange liquid and put it on GB's cookies. Or maybe slip the orange liquid to the nymphs and send them back to start seducing the two raiders before they wierd out.

But, no! I'm stuck following a paladin and his dog through Magus' mighty mist. Woe is me! Image

Good will win in this one, though. It's already been decided. Cuz Evil has Weasel at the start, and we all know he'll always end up on the other side. Image

[This message has been edited by Rail (edited 01-26-2001).]

Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:53 am
by Magus
Sidenote: Sorry I've been gone for so long. I got smothered with homework yesterday...I worked from the time I got home til I fell asleep on the couch. I still haven't even read the posts yet. Today's Friday, so I'll be back for sure this evening.

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...Magus
Level 18 young Half-Elf Conjurer, Neutral Good, resident of The Rift, bitter foe of Ubik

Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2001 7:02 am
by Gruntboy
Homework eh? Heh, I don't have to do that LOL... Oh, I have to interview until 8pm tonight, shucks Image You win some, lose some Image

Gruntboy can't do anything today. Will try and catch up over the weekend (something I don't usually do), so give me another mission Ubik, and Waverly - don't get me in too mch trouble Image

Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2001 7:10 am
by TrIp-WiRe
I won't be back online till Monday morning - I only have internet at work, and I definately ain't coming in here this weekend.

@Magus: You have plenty of catching up to do - we are all waiting on you, and those baddies have been up to ****...I think it is time to start making life difficult for them. None of this walking into Temples and trying to start Armageddon.

Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2001 7:28 am
by Omar
Omar's room in the Crooked Crane:

---Omar:"No need to undress yourselves!"
---Harlots:"????Eeeeehhh,why not?"
---Omar:"Heheheheh...I want to play a little game with you! I call it 'Lloth's Blessings'!"
---Harlots (uneasy):"????????????"
Omar takes off his cloak. Now the harlots understand; the long white hair,the black skin, the swords,his wicked grin....
---Harlots:"Oh my god! You ARE a Drow! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
---Harlots:morale failure, panic.
---Omar:Globe of Darkness; the room fills with a thick, inkblack, foglike substance.

What follows next is something I will not describe,fearing that my reputation on this board will be damaged Image
Ingredients for the afore mentioned game:
---Sadistic Omar
---3 Harlots
---Globe of Darkness
---Sword Spider
---Scimitars
---Blood, Gore and Pain
The outcome:

Omar looked at the corpses of the harlots after the vanishing of the Globe. (neither will I describe the corpses) He signals the Sword Spider which eagerly begins feasting on them.
---Omar(smiling):"Aaaahhh,this was something I needed badly!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
He picks up his bag of coins and dons his cape.

To be continued...

Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2001 7:33 am
by Weasel
(Side note) Omar you are one of a kind Image LMAO

Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2001 7:43 am
by Omar
Aaah weasel! Too bad I didn't meet you in the Sphere Image
You can come out of your cell now! Image Image