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Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2003 5:36 pm
by VoodooDali
The HoodooVoodoo Guru of the Rogue Nation of Voodoodaliania invites the following top 5 smartest nations to become members of the newly formed MENSA ("My Esteemed Nation's Smarter" Association):
The Free Republic of Espania
The Republic of Gwaltopia
The People's Republic of Avaricen
The People's Republic of Aggrovatia
Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2003 5:44 pm
by Robnark
To The HoodooVoodoo Guru of the Rogue Nation of Voodoodaliania:
I, Chairman Nark of the Peoples Republic of Aggrovatia, would be pleased to take up your gracious offer. We hope that this will help usher in a new era of petty rivalry and one-upmanship unsurpassed in the history of our great nations
Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2003 8:33 pm
by Tybaltus
To HoodooVoodoo Guru of the Rogue Nation of Voodoodaliania:
Well, I WOULD like to say Im a relaxed and benevolent leader, but that would be out-and-out lying.
Soda sales are up, because we need the money to maintain the environment. It isnt easy to protect a forest and run a country when broke. So my police force went and demanded a rise in soda production and sales, and we did it.
Espionage is simply out of the question.
I respect all borders and do not linger in foreign intervention.
In other news, this is our own progression:
Civil Rights: Few
Economy: Very Strong
Political Freedoms: Outlawed
The Empire of Tropicalis is a small, devout nation, remarkable for its strong anti-business politics. Its hard-working, cynical population of 10 million are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.
The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Religion & Spirituality, and Commerce. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 23%. Private enterprise is illegal, but for those in the know there is a slick and highly efficient black market in Soda Sales.
Euthanasia is illegal, a dictator has seized power and outlawed elections, organ donation rates are among the lowest in the region, and genetic researchers have been expelled. Crime is relatively low, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Tropicalis's national animal is the macaw, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the parrotali.
Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2003 9:16 pm
by Zelgadis
Zelopolis Decides:
People Request Not So Much Dictatorship, If That's All Right
Government Acts
The Issue
While effusively praising Zelopolis's leadership and bowing repeatedly, a delegation has humbly requested that the government take a more "modernistic" view in the future.
The Debate
1. The High Minister for Finance, who also happens to be your brother, dismisses the claim. "What these people fail to realize is that you know what's best for them. The alternative is anarchy! I say stick to your course. And execute these wackos for treason."
[Accept]
2. "Perhaps the people could be given some more political freedoms," muses your Chief of Staff, who is your sister. "Is there really such harm in allowing public discussion of ideas? We could even have a real Opposition Party. One that isn't just full of your puppets, I mean."
[Accept]
The Government Position
The government is preparing to dismiss this issue.
Upstart peasants!
Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2003 10:30 pm
by Bloodstalker
Originally posted by VoodooDali
The HoodooVoodoo Guru of the Rogue Nation of Voodoodaliania invites the following top 5 smartest nations to become members of the newly formed MENSA ("My Esteemed Nation's Smarter" Association):
The Free Republic of Espania
The Republic of Gwaltopia
The People's Republic of Avaricen
The People's Republic of Aggrovatia
The Empire of Lord Stalker laughs at your intelligence and will counter by unleashing the foul-mouthed hoards to drown out all intellectual discussion
Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2003 10:48 pm
by Maharlika
Time for a break, exalted leaders...
Chipmunks on the Dinner Table?
The Issue
In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for Maharlika's Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that chipmunks could be added to the menu.
The Debate
"The fact is, the chipmunk population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Beth Winters. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have chipmunk kebabs, chipmunk pies, chipmunk-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."
[Accept]
"I agree that something needs to be done about chipmunk over-population," says random passer-by Faith Hanover, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
"I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President George W. Christmas. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The chipmunks were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The chipmunk is part of what makes Maharlika a great nation!"
[Accept]
The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 2.
...chipmunk burgers anyone?
Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2003 10:57 pm
by Weasel
Sad Events in Tyrant Weasel Land...
The Empire of Nippy, The Tyrant Weasel will send the Flogger 7000 in return for 2 mountain lions,
for me to do with as I wish. Haaaaaaaa >Very Evil Smile<
His Un-Holiness, Sir Sleazel 2 the Great!
(In other news Sleazel the 1st dies while trying to visit The Dominion of Pornografitti. Something about violation of borders. Sleazel 2 the Great is kindly grateful for the misunderstanding. )
Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2003 11:07 pm
by VoodooDali
The Issue
Big business, fed up with over-regulation in VoodooDaliania, are heading offshore in ever-increasing numbers.
The Debate
"Good riddance!" says noted environmentalist Faith Winters. "Sniff that air! It's never been so clean! At last, our society is freeing itself from the consumer death-trap! I say it's time to take the final step and outlaw capitalism once and for all!"
[Accept]
"This is a catastrophe waiting to happen," says the Chamber of Commerce. "Think of the consequences! Without big business, where do the jobs come from? Where do we get our medicine? Our cars? Our latest fashions? There are dozens of useless regulations the government could abolish today to make life easier for commerce, and it's high time they did."
[Accept]
The Government Position
The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.
The HVG of the RNV has decided to dismiss the issue.
Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2003 2:29 am
by Tamerlane
How unpleasent, my economy has fallen from All Consuming back down to Powerhouse all at the expense of establishing some Civil Rights...
In other news, The Dominion of Tamerlane have changed over from their Corporate Police State to a Compulsory Consumerist State. Yet another step in our conquest to become the economic super power in SYM.
Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2003 3:27 am
by Minerva
Today's United Nations Report
The Stupidest Citizens in SYM
The following nations had the highest proportion of citizens designated in UN studies as either "Uneducated" or "Just Plain Dumb".
1. The Free Republic of Bloodonya
2. The Empire of Dave-rovia
3. The Empire of Lord Stalker
4. The Dominion of Tamerlane
5. The Empire of Avarians
6. The Holy Empire of Stealth Hawks
7. The Empire of Nippy
8. The Holy Empire of Audace
9. The Holy Empire of The Ummah
10. The Free Land of Casio Tones
LMAO
Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2003 3:30 am
by Bloodstalker
Laugh, but my people know all they need to....do what I say
Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2003 7:37 am
by Maharlika
From the Grand High Maharlika
Kenders care not of being rich ... well we don't actually have that in our vocabulary. Being "rich" does not really exist in our society. We enjoy the spur of the moment then move on. We have a kender saying that "...anything found in a kenderhome for more than a week is considered a family heirloom."
But sure am glad that even if most races don't take us seriously, we're not considered dumb and stupid... uh, well, unless you're a dwarf taking the brunt of a trap after a kender says "Oooops..."
To add some spice into the business offer by the foul-mouthed empire, my scribes are offering Kender Taunts. Guaranteed to have your opponent turn into berserker rage thus being an easy target --- of course The Taunt does not guarantee you to be NOT an easy target against a berserked opponent.
Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2003 10:09 am
by KidD01
Duh ! Can't believe our young country should suffer such humiliation being in the top ten of the stupidest. It must be that sodas and macaws !
From this day forth none of our citizen shall consume soda ! Existing macaws are going straight to our snack factory processing line ! In the future no macaws are allowed !
Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2003 10:13 am
by Tybaltus
Originally posted by KidD01
Duh ! Can't believe our young country should suffer such humiliation being in the top ten of the stupidest. It must be that sodas and macaws !
From this day forth none of our citizen shall consume soda ! Existing macaws are going straight to our snack factory processing line ! In the future no macaws are allowed !
Argh! War! War! War! Such brutality cannot go unpunished!
Well...maybe not war, but certainly we can go and talk this out, no? Reasoning is never out of the question....
And it cant be the macaws...we're the 12th smartest nation, and we co-exist with our feathered friends.
Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2003 10:17 am
by Minerva
Originally posted by Tybaltus
And it cant be the macaws...we're the 12th smartest nation, and we co-exist with our feathered friends.
I doubt your intelligence.
Have you found who's the head of CIA, yet?
Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2003 10:27 am
by VoodooDali
The Issue
A group of emergency room doctors has petitioned the government to introduce mandatory organ donations.
The Debate
"It's not as crazy as it sounds," says Dr. Beth Love. "Every day, people die because we don't have the organs to save them. Well, that and widespread under-funding of the health system. But the point is, if the government allowed us to take organs from dead people, we could save hundreds of lives a year. And come on, it's not like dead people need them."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
"You keep your damn hands off my organs!" says alarmed hospital patient Fleur Utopia. "They are my organs, and I'll do with them what I like. The government has no right to my body."
[Accept]
The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 1.
Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2003 10:27 am
by Yshania
The Free Land of Thedruidgrove Update
The nation is now considered socially progressive and has lost it's "safe" status. This may be to do with their first diplomatic challenge: having to politely decline an offer from Bloodonya of a supply of uranium, on the grounds that the grove have no use for the material, nor any safe way to store it. Scayde Moody was never-the-less invited to partake in the hot springs of the grove. The grove accepted a gift from The Empire of Tropicalis of two chipmunks, who have been released into the forest, hopefully now free of the perceived threat to their lives from Maharlika. The Empire of Tropicalis are offered in return a stag and a hind, mated for life.
The population of the grove has increased to 6 million, maybe in response to the circle of elders decision to cut back on military expenditure. A number of grove residents that voted for an increase in military expenditure pleaded consideration that a failure to properly arm the nation could perceivably open their borders to illegal immigrants, in addition to inadequately protecting their borders from a possible threat from rogue nations. After listening sympathetically to their members, the elders of the grove decided against an increase in military expenditure in favour of peace and harmony, and to ban the bomb and welcome newcomers to the grove.
This decision appears to have angered some members of the elder circle. The government now has large status as opposed to their previous ranking of enormous. The remaining elders wish luck to those who have chosen to step down, and have offered them alternative positions within the community. There has been a recent rise in applications for hot spring attendants.
As a knock in effect of the decrease in military expenditure, income tax has dropped by 3%
The Issue
Children as young as eight have been spotted gambling in some of Thedruidgrove's seedier casinos.
The Debate
Social activist Zeke Dredd is outraged. "Gambling needs to be outlawed immediately. It's no wonder children are becoming sucked into the vice, with adults setting such a poor example. Gambling is a stain on Thedruidgrove's international reputation and it must be stopped!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
However, Crown Casino chairperson Prudence Love says, "What's wrong with children gambling? It prepares them for the realities of life, teaching them that success or failure is not due to hard work or intelligence, but the roll of the dice. Besides, if kids weren't gambling, they'd be spraypainting trains."
[Accept]
The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 1.
Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2003 10:58 am
by Gwalchmai
The Issue
The Police department is considering installing surveillance cameras in all major public areas, in an effort to crack down on crime.
The Debate
1. "This is a blatant invasion of the right to privacy!" says libertarian web site operator Zeke Thiesen. "Now I can't even go out in public any more without being watched? And you know this is just the beginning. Today there are cameras in city streets. Tomorrow they're peering through your bedroom window."
Considering that crime is unknown in Gwaltopia, this the logical position for the government to adopt.
2. "Hey, I've got news for you," says Police media liaison Pete King. "When you're out in public, PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU. These cameras will be extremely helpful in reducing the national crime rate. Frankly, I can't see what the fuss is about."
3. "This 'slippery slope' argument has got me thinking," says Police Minister Peggy Falopian. "You know, it would be a lot easier to fight crime if we watched people all the time. Not with cameras, of course. That's clearly an invasion of privacy. But how about a national database of our citizens, coupled with compulsory ID cards and barcoding? It would stop crime dead in its tracks."
The Issue
A recent poll has revealed high levels of dissatisfaction among the populace about tax rates.
The Debate
1. "Do you know how much of my year's work goes to the government?" demanded angry worker Violet du Pont. "Too much! Government spending has gotten way out of control. It needs big cuts in welfare, health, and education. But leave those subsidies to business alone. We need them to create jobs."
2. "It's not the AMOUNT of tax, it's where the burden falls," says student activist Thomas Broadside. "And at the moment, far too much of the burden is falling on the poor. People on high incomes still have more money than people on low incomes. I don't think I need to say anything more than that."
3. "I don't object to the amount of tax, I object to where it's being spent," says social reformer Pip McGuffin. "I'd like to see everyone have a choice as to where their tax dollars go every time they fill out a return. Everyone would feel a lot better about opening their wallets if they had a say as to where the money went. I think you'd see a lot more public money going to education and a lot less to business."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt. The GHG has always wished he could do this in real life....
Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2003 11:07 am
by Tybaltus
Originally posted by Minerva
I doubt your intelligence.
Have you found who's the head of CIA, yet?
Ouch....I guess Ill just be quiet about intelligence for a while.
Originally posted by Yshania
The grove accepted a gift from The Empire of Tropicalis of two chipmunks, who have been released into the forest, hopefully now free of the perceived threat to their lives from Maharlika. The Empire of Tropicalis are offered in return a stag and a hind, mated for life.
Word.
I graciously accept the gift, and I shall set them free in forest 2, sector B. I think that forest's climate suits their comforts nicely.