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Your Favourite Jokes

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Beldin
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Post by Beldin »

@astafas - Sorry, but I can't stop meself. I tried ! Honestly ! ;)
It seems I'm on a rampage here... :D
I hope you can forgive me...

Here we go:
Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear. The
first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of
sneakers and started putting them on.The second lawyer looked at him and
said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!"
"I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."

No worries,

Beldin :cool:
Proud driver and SLURRite Linkmaster of the Rolling Thunder ™

Famous Last Words:
"You can't kill me 'cause I've got magic armoraaaaargh !"
"They're only kobolds!"
So he kills kittens? Nothing to fear about that. (CM about Foul on SYM)
"Hey Beldin ! I don't like your face !"
"Nevermore."
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Astafas
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Post by Astafas »

Originally posted by Beldin
@astafas - Sorry, but I can't stop meself. I tried ! Honestly ! ;)
It seems I'm on a rampage here... :D
I hope you can forgive me...

Here we go:
Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear. The
first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of
sneakers and started putting them on.The second lawyer looked at him and
said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!"
"I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."

No worries,

Beldin :cool:
Forgive? You think lawyers forgive?! I'll hunt you down! Now, where are those sneakers I used in Bear-Woods? :D
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Maharlika
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Post by Maharlika »

Wait till McBane hears about this...

...all this lawyer jokes has released the animal in Astafas! :D Wonder what McBane will come up with? :rolleyes:

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Beldin
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Post by Beldin »

Originally posted by Astafas

Forgive? You think lawyers forgive?! I'll hunt you down! Now, where are those sneakers I used in Bear-Woods? :D
Could this be considered a challenge ?? ;) :D

*climbs into his magic FLAME resistant armor*

" Let's ROCK ! "


If your mother-in-law and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie? :p


last time in court...

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for
a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law somewhere.


No worries,

Beldin :cool:

PS: Mod's please understand that I'm acting in self defence :D .
Proud driver and SLURRite Linkmaster of the Rolling Thunder ™

Famous Last Words:
"You can't kill me 'cause I've got magic armoraaaaargh !"
"They're only kobolds!"
So he kills kittens? Nothing to fear about that. (CM about Foul on SYM)
"Hey Beldin ! I don't like your face !"
"Nevermore."
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Astafas
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Post by Astafas »

Originally posted by Beldin
PS: Mod's please understand that I'm acting in self defence :D .
Self defence?! I'm the one on my knees here. Go get him, mods! I'm right behind you. :D
Proud SLURRite Vampiric Lawyer of the Rolling Thunder (TM) - Visitors WELCOME !!!
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Beldin
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Post by Beldin »

Originally posted by Astafas


Self defence?! I'm the one on my knees here. Go get him, mods! I'm right behind you. :D
*sigh*

Trust a lawyer to turn words around.... :p
Proud driver and SLURRite Linkmaster of the Rolling Thunder ™

Famous Last Words:
"You can't kill me 'cause I've got magic armoraaaaargh !"
"They're only kobolds!"
So he kills kittens? Nothing to fear about that. (CM about Foul on SYM)
"Hey Beldin ! I don't like your face !"
"Nevermore."
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Leonardo
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Post by Leonardo »

What´s the difference between a rat and a lawyer?
.
.
.
.
.
.
One is a repulsive animal who thrives on filth, feeds on garbage and spreads disease. The other is a small rodent.
"No one expects the Brazilian Inquisitor!"
Abazigal: "Oh my god! They killed Yaga-Shura!"
Sendai: "You bastards!"
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T'lainya
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Post by T'lainya »

Originally posted by Astafas


Self defence?! I'm the one on my knees here. Go get him, mods! I'm right behind you. :D
LOLYou're on your own here :D
I never turn my back on anyone in this forum :D
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"I will only complicate you/Trust in me and fall as well"
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Astafas
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Post by Astafas »

Originally posted by T'lainya
I never turn my back on anyone in this forum :D
C'mon sweetie, you can trust me - I'm a lawyer! ;) *this strategy might not work anymore after all those shameful jokes*
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T'lainya
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Post by T'lainya »

Originally posted by Astafas


C'mon sweetie, you can trust me - I'm a lawyer! ;) *this strategy might not work anymore after all those shameful jokes*
:D That strategy wouldn't work anyway ;) I still don't trust anyone on this forum :) :D
Especially after Weasels investment scheme
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Astafas
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Post by Astafas »

Originally posted by Leonardo
What´s the difference between a rat and a lawyer?
.
.
.
.
.
.
One is a repulsive animal who thrives on filth, feeds on garbage and spreads disease. The other is a small rodent.
What form is used for the application of rodent-ship? What? Hey, I can't know *everything*, can I!? :D
Proud SLURRite Vampiric Lawyer of the Rolling Thunder (TM) - Visitors WELCOME !!!
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Astafas
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Post by Astafas »

Originally posted by T'lainya

That strategy wouldn't work anyway ;)
Yes, you're right - we don't want the others to know... Of course it wouldn't! So I'll PM you? ;) :D
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T'lainya
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Post by T'lainya »

Originally posted by Astafas

Of course it wouldn't! ;) :D
I'm glad you agree with me :D I wouldn't want to play favorites ;)
Was that sneaky enough?? Of course :)
[url="http://www.gamebanshee.com"]GameBanshee[/url] Make your gaming scream!
"I have seen them/I have watched them all fall/I have been them/I have watched myself crawl"
"I will only complicate you/Trust in me and fall as well"
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Leonardo
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Post by Leonardo »

One more for the lawyers

You are in a room with Arthur Andersen, your mother-in-law and a lawyer. You have a pistol loaded with two bullets. Who should you shot?
.
.
.
.
.
.
The lawyer, two times.
"No one expects the Brazilian Inquisitor!"
Abazigal: "Oh my god! They killed Yaga-Shura!"
Sendai: "You bastards!"
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Astafas
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Post by Astafas »

Re: One more for the lawyers
Originally posted by Leonardo
You are in a room with Arthur Andersen, your mother-in-law and a lawyer. You have a pistol loaded with two bullets. Who should you shot?
.
.
.
.
.
.
The lawyer, two times.
Lets hope for your sake you're using silver bullets here. Otherwise you're in for a nasty surprise... :cool:
Proud SLURRite Vampiric Lawyer of the Rolling Thunder (TM) - Visitors WELCOME !!!
[size=0](Feel free to join us for a drink, play some pool or even relax in a hottub (but the coffin's mine!) - want to learn more? )[/size]

Life seems short considering how long you will be dead.
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T'lainya
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Post by T'lainya »

Re: Re: One more for the lawyers
Originally posted by Astafas


Lets hope for your sake you're using silver bullets here. Otherwise you're in for a nasty surprise... :cool:
Trying to tell us something Astafas?? :eek: :D Is that why your avatar has a hood over his face? An allergy to sunlight? :D
[url="http://www.gamebanshee.com"]GameBanshee[/url] Make your gaming scream!
"I have seen them/I have watched them all fall/I have been them/I have watched myself crawl"
"I will only complicate you/Trust in me and fall as well"
"Quiet time...no more whine"
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Post by Aegis »

Re: One more for the lawyers
Originally posted by Leonardo
You are in a room with Arthur Andersen
And Mr. Andersen makes another, mysterious, appearance... :D
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Astafas
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Post by Astafas »

Re: Re: Re: One more for the lawyers
Originally posted by T'lainya

Trying to tell us something Astafas?? :eek: :D Is that why your avatar has a hood over his face? An allergy to sunlight? :D
I may be... I'm losing this one but respect can be gained in many ways... Fear me! :D
Proud SLURRite Vampiric Lawyer of the Rolling Thunder (TM) - Visitors WELCOME !!!
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T'lainya
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Post by T'lainya »

Re: Re: Re: Re: One more for the lawyers
Originally posted by Astafas


I may be... I'm losing this one but respect can be gained in many ways... Fear me! :D
:D Maybe...maybe not :D I always had a soft spot for evil :D
[url="http://www.gamebanshee.com"]GameBanshee[/url] Make your gaming scream!
"I have seen them/I have watched them all fall/I have been them/I have watched myself crawl"
"I will only complicate you/Trust in me and fall as well"
"Quiet time...no more whine"
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Post by Timekeeper »

I've heard that researchers are now using lawyers instead of mice in labrotory experiments. Two good reasons:

A) The researchers become less emotionally attached to the lawyers;
B) There are some things ever the mice wouldn't do.
"I cannot be caged.
I cannot be controlled.
Know this even as you die, ever pathetic, ever fools."
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