Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2003 6:55 pm
After spending over 12 hours watching a 14 month old and a 26 month old yesterday (who I am actually crazy about) - I must confess that I do not want any children of my own.
In my view, after you spend around $200,000 on them, not to mention all your time, hopes, dreams, etc., all you get is someone who turns around and tells you - you're the reason they are so screwed up.
Some WC Fields quotes:
Children should neither be seen nor heard from -- ever again.
I never met a kid I liked.
Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child -- if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
I like children - fried.
Other children quotes:
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
The trouble with children is that they are not returnable. --Quentin Crisp
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. -- Clarence Darrow
Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life. - Robert Byrne
Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West
The terrifying power of the human sex drive is horrifically demonstrated by the fact that someone was willing to father you. - Ipso Fatso
A son of my own! Oh, no, no, no! Let my flesh perish with me, and let not me transmit to anyone the boredom and the ignominiousness of life. - Gustave Faubert
Children make the most desirable opponents in Scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat. - Fran Lebowitz
Familiarity breeds contempt--and children. - Mark Twain
My children weary me. I can only see them as defective adults; feckless, destructive, frivolous sensual, humorless. - Evelyn Waugh
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
- George Bernard Shaw
"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks." -Emo Philips.
"Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'." -Steven Wright
Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde
"On average, children laugh 400 times per day. Adults, on the other hand, only laugh 15 times per day. The difference why adults laugh so much less – because adults have children!"-Jay Leno
In my view, after you spend around $200,000 on them, not to mention all your time, hopes, dreams, etc., all you get is someone who turns around and tells you - you're the reason they are so screwed up.
Some WC Fields quotes:
Children should neither be seen nor heard from -- ever again.
I never met a kid I liked.
Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child -- if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
I like children - fried.
Other children quotes:
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
The trouble with children is that they are not returnable. --Quentin Crisp
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. -- Clarence Darrow
Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life. - Robert Byrne
Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West
The terrifying power of the human sex drive is horrifically demonstrated by the fact that someone was willing to father you. - Ipso Fatso
A son of my own! Oh, no, no, no! Let my flesh perish with me, and let not me transmit to anyone the boredom and the ignominiousness of life. - Gustave Faubert
Children make the most desirable opponents in Scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat. - Fran Lebowitz
Familiarity breeds contempt--and children. - Mark Twain
My children weary me. I can only see them as defective adults; feckless, destructive, frivolous sensual, humorless. - Evelyn Waugh
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
- George Bernard Shaw
"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks." -Emo Philips.
"Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'." -Steven Wright
Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde
"On average, children laugh 400 times per day. Adults, on the other hand, only laugh 15 times per day. The difference why adults laugh so much less – because adults have children!"-Jay Leno
