Humor in all things...
TED, ED, and ED
All these guys are 1st level TN fighters, with standard fighter profs
Found in cell on dungeon level 1 (where Morgan is - location clarified in his post on this thread), but only when you ask Mona for the fortune having to do with finding humor in all things (or something to that effect).
The humor portion (aside from them being fairly useless) is that they sound like southern hicks (yee-haw, fellers - it's gonna be a hot 'un tonight!).
TED, ED, ED
leader, strong one, dextrous one
AC: 10, 10, 10
HP: 1, 4, 3 (starting HP numbers have varied)
STR: 10, 15, 10
INT: 10, 10, 10
WIS: 10, 10, 10
DEX: 10, 10, 15
CON: 10, 10, 10
CHA: 10, 10, 10
Ted finished with 50 HP, Strong Ed with 66, and Dextrous Ed with 51
Skills:
Ted: diplo 2, listen 1, search 1
Finished with diplo 2, listen and search 6.5, intimidate 5
Ed (strong one): listen 1, search 1.5, spot 1.5
Finished with listen 1, search, 1.5, spot 6, heal and tumble 4.5
Ed (dextrous one): listen 1.5, search 1.5, spot 1
Finished with listen and searc 6, spot 5.5
Feats:
Ted: impr initiative, combat relexes
Adds: blindfight, gnome hook hammer, spike chain, rapid reload, shuriken
Ed (strong one): power attack, cleave
Adds: blindfight, bastard sword, dwarven waraxe, great cleave, gnome hook hammer
Ed (dextrous one): weapon finesse, combat reflexes
Adds: blindfight, dodge, gnome hook hammer, impr initiative, spiked chain
...and yes, you have to take all three of them (but if one dies the others stay).
Best lines:
In the Water Temple: "This place is slicker than otter snot"
In the Fire Node: "It's hotter than a goat's butt in a pickle patch"
Best feature: They don't loot!