Stop Uwe Boll From Making Movies

Moonbiter · Post by **Moonbiter** » Wed Apr 16, 2008 2:30 am

I have personally never seen an Uwe Boll movie, but I have followed his career with interest. What I find remarkable is the endless line of name Hollywood actors who line up to be in his movies.

In his case I will however base my opinion on the majority: When none of his movies have ever made a dime, and he has the lowest critical scores of any director ever, all over the world, I have a sneaking suspicion that he might suck.:laugh:

fable · Post by **fable** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:00 am

Kipi wrote:Is something terrible because certain people claims so, or if we study the phenomeon several years after? Should we take into account the support is has got? Also, if something, in this case movie, has very large fan support, can it still be terrible, as there are lots of people who liked it?

Kipi, the past is littered with truly horrendous stuff that was considered great entertainment while it was fresh. Let me provide a single example I think we can agree about: The Passing of the Great Race, by lawyer and eugenicist Madison Grant. It was Grant's contention that the "Nordic race" was being overwhelmed by hordes of inferior "Mediterraneans," Asians, Blacks, etc. He advocated that all immigration be restricted to Nordics, and that a selective breeding program be instituted to increase the numbers of the race in both Europe and the US.

Grant's work was a leading bestseller for more than a decade. Theodore Roosevelt and Herbert Hoover were his close friends. His theories were strongly endorsed by a lot of people in Western Europe and the US. He was considered highly readable and knowledgeable by the average person. But did the large number of people who read him and advocated his policies of racial eugenics mean that there was credibility to his ideas? How could they have been so terrible, if he was so very popular?

Moonbiter · Post by **Moonbiter** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 12:14 pm

fable wrote: They're so unbelievably white that only Scandanavia could unleash their abilities on the world.

LOL! Much as I enjoyed your opinion of ABBA, I must take issue with this statement. The whitest musical enemas ever was two very cornfed American acts, The Carpenters and The Osmonds.

The latter were huge in Sweden in the early 70s, and no doubt inspired ABBA. Thanks a lot!

Back to Boll: I've decided to sacrifice myself in the name of science, and actually watch a Boll movie. After contemplating which one would be the most vile, I've decided upon his adaption of Alone In The Dark. It is based on a classic Lovecraftian adventure game, but Boll has set the movie in present day Los Angeles, added a heavy metal soundtrack and cast Christian Slater as the hero and airhead trainwreck Tara Reid as an archaeologist! Reid is apparently so gloriously bad in the movie that Boll himself has cut most of her scenes in the newest version of the film. I will therefore watch the original version to bask in the glory of her acting chops. The movie is ranked as the second worst reviewed movie of all time on Rotten Tomatoes. I will stock up on booze and horse-tranqulizers, and handcuff myself to the couch with the remote control out of reach. All in the name of science.

fable · Post by **fable** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 12:23 pm

Moonbiter wrote:LOL! Much as I enjoyed your opinion of ABBA, I must take issue with this statement. The whitest musical enemas ever was two very cornfed American acts, The Carpenters and The Osmonds. The latter were huge in Sweden in the early 70s, and no doubt inspired ABBA. Thanks a lot!

The Carpenters weren't in fact a singing group. They were a pair of robots parodied after USians, designed by Fidel Castro's eccentric scientist cousin, Gummo Castro, to see if they could pass the Turing Test. They couldn't.

And the Osmonds are aliens, as everyone knows.

I should have been clearer. ABBA was the most ghastly warm-blooded pop singing act to assault our ears in recent times. And because they were Swedish, they were too large to be stepped on accidentally in passing, which made matters worse.

On to less serious matters. I have yet to watch a Boll film. Call it an instinct for self-preservation that has served me well for most of my life. It doesn't sound as if he's quite as bad as, say, Ed Wood or John Derek, which means he'd be less entertaining, and more ghastly. But I don't see any reason to sign a petition against him. Hell, if he wants to keep making films, it's his business. I don't have to watch his work.