Your Favourite Jokes

Astafas · Post by **Astafas** » Fri Mar 22, 2002 11:52 am

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: One more for the lawyers

Originally posted by T'lainya
I always had a soft spot for evil

You have?! Please, do call me Asty!

T'lainya · Post by **T'lainya** » Fri Mar 22, 2002 11:57 am

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: One more for the lawyers

Originally posted by Astafas

You have?! Please, do call me Asty!

It's always been one of my weaknesses Asty

Sailor Saturn · Post by **Sailor Saturn** » Fri Mar 22, 2002 12:21 pm

Originally posted by Beldin
@astafas - Sorry, but I can't stop meself. I tried ! Honestly !
It seems I'm on a rampage here...
I hope you can forgive me...

Here we go:
Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear. The
first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of
sneakers and started putting them on.The second lawyer looked at him and
said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!"
"I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."

No worries,

Beldin

I've heard that one as a blonde joke.

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Sat Mar 23, 2002 1:04 am

Re: Re: Re: An "Intellectual" Joke?

Originally posted by Astafas
OMG! It's me, isn't it!? I'm outta here! *running towards forest to live like Robin Hood for rest of life (which would be very short, should CE ever get her hands on me)*

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law somewhere.

posted by T'
It's always been one of my weaknesses Asty

What - it seems our Great Mod T' has taken a liking in the little vampire gerbil

Very well T' since Astafas obviously can perform his duties without a brain, what about a fair share? I take the brain, you take the rest

posted by Moleman
Bollocks! That kind of talk is from horses arse! Freudian psycho-analysis is nothing butt a nuisance to ordinary, healthy people such ass myself. Doctor's should be proactive instead of analysing people's problems afterwards - hindsight is always 20/20.

ROFL

Oh, I wish I could have hired you as a stand-up comedian at the graduation dinner

Moleman · Post by **Moleman** » Sat Mar 23, 2002 1:47 am

Re: Re: Re: Re: An "Intellectual" Joke?

Originally posted by C Elegans

ROFL Oh, I wish I could have hired you as a stand-up comedian at the graduation dinner

Sorry, I only do weddings and Bar Mitzvah's.....

Robnark · Post by **Robnark** » Sat Mar 23, 2002 11:24 am

we are protecting society

T'lainya · Post by **T'lainya** » Sat Mar 23, 2002 4:25 pm

What - it seems our Great Mod T' has taken a liking in the little vampire gerbil Very well T' since Astafas obviously can perform his duties without a brain, what about a fair share? I take the brain, you take the rest

Hmm interesting but if you take the brain, he becomes anautmoton and loses that lovely evil streak

Maybe we can work out a compromise

Astafas · Post by **Astafas** » Sat Mar 23, 2002 7:51 pm

Originally posted by T'lainya
Maybe we can work out a compromise

Well, I do indeed like you both...

T'lainya · Post by **T'lainya** » Sat Mar 23, 2002 8:06 pm

Originally posted by Astafas

Well, I do indeed like you both...

Evil and agreeable?

What an intriguing combination

Astafas · Post by **Astafas** » Sat Mar 23, 2002 8:34 pm

Originally posted by T'lainya

Evil and agreeable? What an intriguing combination

Don't hesitate to explore all advantages.. I can *almost* garantee I won't bite you.

T'lainya · Post by **T'lainya** » Sat Mar 23, 2002 8:36 pm

Originally posted by Astafas

Don't hesitate to explore all advantages.. I can *almost* garantee I won't bite you.

Drat

oh you said almost

Astafas · Post by **Astafas** » Sat Mar 23, 2002 8:45 pm

Originally posted by T'lainya

Drat oh you said almost

I could of course take a bite or two, should you ask for it...

Moleman · Post by **Moleman** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 3:00 am

Again, not really a joke but an anecdote. This time it really should be a true story...

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on
the moon, he not only gave his famous "one small step for
man, one giant leap for mankind" statement but followed it by
several remarks, mostly com traffic between him, the other
astronauts and Mission Control.
Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the
enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky." Many people at NASA
thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet
Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in
either the Russian or American space programs.

Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what
the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but Armstrong
always just smiled. On July 5, 1995 in Tampa Bay FL, while
answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up
the 26-year-old question to Armstrong. This time he finally
responded.

Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he
could answer the question. When he was a kid, he was playing
baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly
ball which landed outside his neighbor's bedroom window.

His neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to
pickup the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting
at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex? You want oral sex? You'll get oral
sex when the kid next door walks on the moon."

True story.

Locke Da'averan · Post by **Locke Da'averan** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 4:23 am

LOL Moleman!

Lucky for Mr. Gorsky

T'lainya · Post by **T'lainya** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 3:58 pm

Originally posted by Astafas

I could of course take a bite or two, should you ask for it...

Thats so polite of you

CE you don't need too much of the brain do you??

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 8:50 pm

Originally posted by Moleman
Again, not really a joke but an anecdote. This time it really should be a true story...

Unfortunately it's an urban legend, still a very sweet and funny one just like the radio show one

For the status of the story as an urban legend, follow this link:
http://www.snopes2.com/quotes/mrgorsky.htm

posted by T'
Hmm interesting but if you take the brain, he becomes anautmoton and loses that lovely evil streak Maybe we can work out a compromise

This is of course a question of whether we think Astafas evil is spread in his entire system, or localized to the brain. Also, I'm not sure whether he's more entertaining to you with or without brain

But I do think I only need his neocortex, and that won't make any difference to you since he lack higher functions anyway

Astafas · Post by **Astafas** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 2:16 am

Originally posted by C Elegans

This is of course a question of whether we think Astafas evil is spread in his entire system, or localized to the brain. Also, I'm not sure whether he's more entertaining to you with or without brain But I do think I only need his neocortex, and that won't make any difference to you since he lack higher functions anyway

I've got a feeling I don't get the respect due a highly intelligent and entirely evil supposed vampire...

Mr.Waesel · Post by **Mr.Waesel** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 3:11 am

The next time a blind person ask you: "What's purple like?" Just say "it's yellow, but a little more greenish"

Moleman · Post by **Moleman** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 4:32 am

Originally posted by C Elegans

Unfortunately it's an urban legend, still a very sweet and funny one just like the radio show one For the status of the story as an urban legend, follow this link:
http://www.snopes2.com/quotes/mrgorsky.htm

What do you mean with radio show one beeing an urban legend? I wasn't aware of that...

Now I'll take the blue pill, and the next time we'll talk I might tell you a true story about Neil Armstrong and Mr. Gorsky. If that happenes please just nod understandibly.

"Denial is key to happiness"

Kameleon · Post by **Kameleon** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 8:20 am

What's pink and hard?

A pig with a flick-knife