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Famous last words in the D&D world

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taltamir
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Post by taltamir »

wouldnt such a potion shake when it is ingested by said sick patient? blowing up inside of him?
I do not have a superman comples; for I am God, not superman!
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Galuf the Dwarf
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Post by Galuf the Dwarf »

[QUOTE=taltamir]wouldnt such a potion shake when it is ingested by said sick patient? blowing up inside of him?[/QUOTE]

Pardon for the lack of elaboration. I was thinking that a certain intensity would make it blow up. Injestion wouldn't make it explode, but shaking it with the force of a bouncing container would make it do so. Once it comes in contact with something like digestive acids, it safely mixes and becomes less volatile. When its lone molecules come too close together, they react violently.

Think of the potion as if it's microscopic structure is getting WAY too much friction and has to exit violently. Overall, though, not much of anything can totally be explained, can it?
Dungeon Crawl Inc.: It's the most fun you can have without 3 midgets and a whip! Character stats made by your's truly!
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Nihilanth
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Post by Nihilanth »

A few of mine:

*START OF CAMAPIGN*

DM(me): You reached the small town of never-mind-the-name. It is a quiet town and not many individuals live here. a population of about 500... What do you do?
CE player lvl. 1 cleric: Is there some job post available?
DM: yup.
CE player: I go and check it out
DM: An old lady is looking for someone to weed her garden, an old smith needs someone to clean his stables from horse sh!t and the local sherif is paying a hefty sum of gold to anyone who would clean the local mines of infesting monsters
CE player: Is there an adress?
DM: Yes, the sherif is located...
CE player: Not the sherif, tha lady!
DM: Oh... Well, yes. She's there and there.
CE player: I go around the city, asking for info how to get to her.
DM: You find the house after five minutes of looking.
CE player: I knock on the front door.
DM: No answer.
CE player: I bang my fist on the door
DM: Still no answer.
CE player: (furious) I take my mace and smash the door down!
DM: Ok, the door is no longer in the way.
CE player: I walk inside the house and start shouting that I'm here for the job.
DM: Ok, as you walk in the house, you feel someone grab your shoulder and ask you what do you think you are doing.
CE player: I turn around and smack the guys mouth.
DM: You see a guy wearing a breastplate and a nice looking sword in his hand. He has a marking on his breast plate, a marking that makes him one of the law enforcers in the town. He is also wearing a helmet. roll initiative.
CE player: *rolls 2* crap...
DM: *rolls 12* oh, well... the dude waits for you to answer his question..
CE player: That son of a b!tch! No one stops me! I am EVIL INCARNATE!!! I WILL SMASH YOU DOWN!!! I try and hit him!
*rolls 1*
DM: Fumble check...
CE player: *rolls 7* heh... can't we be friends?
DM: As you swing your mace towards the guy, you miss and your mace flys towards your leg... DMG please..
CE player: *rolls 3 + str of 3 = 6*
DM: You hear a painful sound of cracking bones as you feel extreme pain course through your body... You fall to the ground as you realise that you have just smashed you leg...
CE player: ouch....
DM: The guy looks at you, takes his swords and puts you out of your missery with one quick thrust in your throat...
CE player: Sh!t... I knew I should have been the good guy
Player 2: Idiot!
Player 3: You just had to!
Player 4: Moron, told ya not to do that!

*END OF CAMPAIGN*

The same player, different campaign:

Player: I go to the large tent and ask who's in charge.
DM (Me, again): A short fat guy stands up and says it's him who is in charge.
Player: I tell him that I made his daughter pregnant and that I raped his wife and want all his money.
DM: Are you sure you want to do that?
Player: Am I evil?
DM: OK....
DM: "WHAT?! YOU BASTARD!!! YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT!!!"
Player: Wanna fight?! HUH?! Give me the best you've got!
DM: "GOOD!! Kornack! Come here!"
DM: You see a really big guy come out of a dark corner wielding a greatsword and wearing some unusual sort of armour.
Rest of the party: uhhh... we have some unatended business to attend to... C ya!! *runs away*
Player: Never mind those wussies... I can take him on... How big is he anyway?
DM: Did you see hulk?
Player: yeah...
DM: *evil grin*
Player: You so of a b... *cracking sounds*

---------

and one of my favorites:

DM: You see a young girl..
Player: I whip my **** out and go to her... *smiles*
DM: As you aproach the girl, she seems to start changing into something else...
Player: Why does it look like a greater doppleganger?
There once was a beast over seven hills and seven seas... One day the beast walks out and says "Shit man! Look where I live!"
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Rob-hin
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Post by Rob-hin »

Is that the same player everytime? :D
Guinness is good for you.
Gives you strength.
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DeathLich
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Post by DeathLich »

*later in the battle, after meeting a young red dragon*
DM- The dragon appears almost dead, but it attacks again. 20 damage to you PC4, your unconsious like your friends. PC5 you're all that's left...

PC5-I back up next to the boulder and shoot my long bow.

PC1- (sneaks a peak at the DMs paper) If you hit, we win!!

PC5- I roll a!!! 1.....

DM- The young dragon attacks again. And misses.

PC5- I'll attack again. 1....

DM- The dragon attacks once again. He rolls a 20.Critical threat. And another 20. Death threat. And another 20...It appears that your dead. The dragon eats your corpses.

...we later did some calculations and found that the 3 20's in a row on the same die was about a 1 in 18,000 (about) chance...
So I offer you respect, and it will take much for you to lose it. But if you do, if you choose to see it as weakness and seize upon your perceived advantage, well...perhaps I'll then let you talk with Guenhwyvar.
-Drizzt Do'Urden
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taltamir
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Post by taltamir »

That player needs to learn that evil and STUPID and not the same thing...
How would anyone evil survive to adulthood if he was that stupid?
I do not have a superman comples; for I am God, not superman!
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Darfuria
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Post by Darfuria »

Only 1 dragon!?

Don't worry it doesn't bite!

It's only a Gas Spore, the DM isn't harsh enough to put a Beholder in this dungeon.
Do I belong to some ancient race? I like to walk in ancient places. These are the things I don't understand. Well I don't believe in your modern ways, don't care about the things you say. Your modesty has failed the test of time.
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Maeglor
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Post by Maeglor »

PC1 is a (and the only) Cleric of a diety he invented - Tulocks, the god of lechery and revelry.

PC2 is a Dwarven defender called Gropius.

They, and two others are fighting in a drow dungeon, and are presently engaged in melee inside a sphere of darkness.

PC2: I swing my two handed axe at the drow attacking me.
DM: Ok.. since you can't see anything, there's a chance you might hit someone else. *Dicing* Um, ok, you are now swinging at PC1. Ah, chance to crit.. crit..
DM: PC1, Gropius' axe slams into your chest through the blackness - you are now at -11 hit points.
PC1: Grrrr. *******!
DM: Hmm, ok, the god Tulocks, seeing his only follower stricken down, expends the next 10000000 years of his power to bring you to 1 hp.
PC1: Haha, let the gospel of lechery spread!
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jopperm2
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Post by jopperm2 »

PC1: You made a deal with who?? :eek:
PC2: Oh come on, not all demons are bad. :rolleyes:
"Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security,
will not have, nor do they deserve, either one."

Thomas Jefferson
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