Santa Stalker

Hill-Shatar · Post by **Hill-Shatar** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 9:22 pm

Chu, both hands on the wheel, I need balance if I am going to grope Athe- I mean, the reigns.

Patrick · Post by **Patrick** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 2:48 am

i got a letter from a baligerent elf, saying he is in the mist of feasting on rudolf and will eat the rest of the raindeers if I am not supportave of Guiness likea true fan. Also stating in a drunking furry that to teach me a lesson I willnot be recieving my complete keg system for christmas but will have to try for a future date like maybe New Years or some other event like the edecapitating holiday, umm St. Patricks Day. What the helll is with those little elves anyway, the think they can just tax the poor and leave a man to die of starvation in the desert.
Good new was finally recieved by another offical elf, saying her brother elf is correct but I can still drink guiness, just have to go to the store and buy several 12 packs of the premium draught. Better luck next times says the elf and you, better be good, because kegs of guiness are fun to chug chug. So Stalker Santa I will have to try and to show good faith, I will leave you a bottel of the good Guines brew and an opener so you can slam it on the way up the chimmney. I will have some mixed nuts for you too. Hope you feel better.
Waaaa elves are so mean,
pouts

chugs anyway

Brynn · Post by **Brynn** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 6:21 am

[QUOTE=Lestat]@ Brynn: are you sure you want (this) Santa to give you some rod?

[/QUOTE]
Absolutely. But I carefully specified which rod I mean so no rubber duckies or anything like that

Ravager · Post by **Ravager** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 6:36 am

What if it turns out to be the one in a million cursed variety? I'd expect that here... :devil:

Eerhardt · Post by **Eerhardt** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 7:29 am

Uhm... Santa, think can you fix me up with a bottle of JD, some Turkey, a few bottles of moonshine and a truckload of Duff

?

Athena · Post by **Athena** » Sun Dec 25, 2005 11:21 am

Well BS I hope last night was as much fun for you as it was for me.

Happy gifting!

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Sun Dec 25, 2005 11:25 am

[QUOTE=Bloodstalker]@Mag...the Turkey was a nice idea, but stashing a real live gobbler in that area of Dasher's anatomy.....well, let's just say it's been a long time since he's lived up to his name so well. As a result, Santa got 17 speeding tickets, one crualety to animals charge, and a chewing out from Mrs. Claus. Because the last one pleased me, you will get what you ask for. Santa will make sure to look into Athena's phone troubles personally when I arive with her gift. Try not to call until the following morning though.

[/QUOTE]

:laugh: I just noticed this. Brilliant.

Wait wait wait, what do you mean about last night being fun girl?

Luis Antonio · Post by **Luis Antonio** » Sun Dec 25, 2005 11:32 am

Dear B Santa Stalker,

I'm really disapointed with you. I've cooked for the family, and I've thought about sending you a few sheeps for your personal relaxations, but you havent appeared. Therefore, the trap is still under the tree, waiting to tore your leg off, and I'm very sad that we have no blood red on our walls at the main hall.

Next time I'm gonna prepare an Image Recognition missile, and I'll send it behind you. This bag of yours will blow.

Sincerely,

Luis Antonio, Heathen, First class.

Athena · Post by **Athena** » Sun Dec 25, 2005 11:45 am

I am talking about this
[QUOTE=Bloodstalker] Santa will deal with the shopping malls appropriatly. Vandalism is Santa;'s middle name...[/Quote]
Now I know how all of the broken ornaments came about
[QUOTE=Bloodstalker]RE the reindeer, I understand totally. Just leave your window open, and Santa will remember to slide into your bedroom instead. :mischief: ...[/Quote] Hmm that was sweet, sugar plum.

[Quote=Bloodstalker]@Phred....didn't you already send Santa a letter?As to the request for elves, oompahloompas etc....Santa is contractually obligated to keep all elves in residence at the North Pole. This is to keep them safe from the molestations of people like Orlando Bloom, Leonardo Decaprio, and all those other pansy ass "male" actors running around getting all the roles in action movies and ruining films I would otherwise love to watch. The Oompas seem to be a fetish around here though for some reason, Santa will have to get back to you on that.[/Quote]
LMAO The elves are MINE....and the oompas too...Ho ho ho

[Quote=Bloodstalker]@Pat.....A fine sounding name and a suitably drunken request. Santa will deliver all you ask for on the condition that Santa gets to taste test all the Guiness that comes out of the keg.[/Quote]
I will also be taking part in this.
[Quote=Bloodstalker]@Grimar....unfortunatly, Rudolph is not what you think. Originally when contacted about the movie rights to his story, Hollywood rejected the idea that Rudolph was in actuallity a homicidal, schizoprenic wolverine with a large case of little man syndrome and a certain fondness for elven flesh. [/Quote] This makes more sence. I thought it was the horses that killed off all the elves.
[QUote=Bloodstalker]However, Rudolph is feeling a bit burnt out, so we figure since no one else is crazy enough to ask for him, we'll send him to you for a bit of a vacation. We'll will not, however, be liable for any burial costs your family may accumulate as a result.[/Quote]:speech: watch out; rudolph rampage...this is gruesome
[Quote=Bloodstalker]@Mag...Santa got 17 speeding tickets, one crualety to animals charge, and a chewing out from Mrs. Claus. Because the last one pleased me, you will get what you ask for. Santa will make sure to look into Athena's phone troubles personally when I arive with her gift. Try not to call until the following morning though.

[/QUOTE]
and a partridge in a pear tree?!

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Sun Dec 25, 2005 11:50 am

*glares* Still didn't fix that phone thing.

Athena · Post by **Athena** » Sun Dec 25, 2005 11:51 am

*spanks Mag*

Maybe if you tried calling the right number it would werk.

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Sun Dec 25, 2005 11:55 am

Hmm, do I qoute Kevin Bacon, or do I ask for the number? Such a quandry...

TonyMontana1638 · Post by **TonyMontana1638** » Sun Dec 25, 2005 11:56 am

[QUOTE=Magrus]Hmm, do I qoute Kevin Bacon, or do I ask for the number? Such a quandry...[/QUOTE]

From my experience if you have the rare opportunity to relevantly quote Kevin Bacon, you've gotta do it...

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Sun Dec 25, 2005 11:57 am

[QUOTE=TonyMontana1638]From my experience if you have the rare opportunity to relevantly quote Kevin Bacon, you've gotta do it...

[/QUOTE]

*nods*

Thank you ma'am, may I have another!

TonyMontana1638 · Post by **TonyMontana1638** » Sun Dec 25, 2005 11:58 am

[QUOTE=Magrus]*nods*

Thank you ma'am, may I have another![/QUOTE]

Hahahaha :laugh: brilliant! see what I mean? Didn't that feel good?

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Sun Dec 25, 2005 12:01 pm

*nods* It most certainly did! *wiggles*

Patrick · Post by **Patrick** » Sun Dec 25, 2005 5:46 pm

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo!!!!!!!!!!

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Sun Dec 25, 2005 7:17 pm

[QUOTE=Athena]Well BS I hope last night was as much fun for you as it was for me.

Happy gifting![/QUOTE]

Santa always aims to please. it is, however, shocking when Santa reads something to make him think he may have actually succeeded

@Luis....trying to trap Santa? You should have known better. Santa always sends in low ranking elves first to make sure there's nothing foul afoot. If they return, Santa is happy. If not, there is no loss.

Tamerlane · Post by **Tamerlane** » Mon Dec 26, 2005 3:29 am

One of the DVD's I got for Christmas was 'Nightmare Before Christmas' and when the Pumpkin King decides to take over Christmas all I could think of was how similar he was/is to Stalker Claus.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Mon Dec 26, 2005 3:19 pm

I see no resemblence whatsoever. I'm much better looking