Something or another wars episode V: The spam comes back

Chanak · Post by **Chanak** » Sat May 12, 2007 8:11 pm

Pish. In order to wage war against spam, spam must be present to battle. This...collection...is better left for a pest control company to deal with.

*passes COMM Spam Sniffer (copyright Empire of COMM) over the preceeding pages*

Heh. As I suspected. Not enough to make the needle even budge.

kathycf · Post by **kathycf** » Sat May 12, 2007 9:14 pm

No idea what "Comm" is...What is this Comm you speak of?

[url="http://www.pitt.edu/~blair1/spam-haiku.html"]SPAM haikus written by someone with perhaps too much time on his hands[/url]...

silent, former pig
one communal awareness
myriad pink bricks

jelly for mortar
seven hundred tins and more
i build a Spam house

Grotesque pinkish mass
In a blue can on a shelf
Quivering alone

Pink tender morsel
Glistening with salty gel
What the hell is it?

Ears, snouts, and innards,
A homogenous mass
Pass another slice

AmpaSand · Post by **AmpaSand** » Sun May 13, 2007 12:50 am

Chanak I used that meter after you the batteries were in backwards!

when i fixed it it moved up to feeble.

DesR85 · Post by **DesR85** » Sun May 13, 2007 1:34 am

I think it's better to go after trucks (or other transports) transporting Spam and destroy them rather than going after individual cans. Might cause major disruption in their supply lines.

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Sun May 13, 2007 4:27 am

Do we have a potential recruit here?

kathycf wrote:No idea what "Comm" is...What is this Comm you speak of?

Do a search with Weasel and COMM as your key words.

Let the Light of COMM show you the way.

@Des: You da man!

Kipi · Post by **Kipi** » Sun May 13, 2007 5:14 am

Maharlika wrote:Do a search with Weasel and COMM as your key words.

Are you sure the material is good for new members?
The can get corrupted and turned to the dark side!!

Oh, and if you need some good soldiers in your war, here is one!
*raises hand*

Chanak · Post by **Chanak** » Sun May 13, 2007 6:27 am

AmpaSand wrote:Chanak I used that meter after you the batteries were in backwards!

when i fixed it it moved up to feeble.

Hmmm, no idea what you were playing around with there (and probably ought to stay that way, too). The Spam Sniffer doesn't run on batteries. It runs on the user's COMMliness. Hence a spammer would never be able to use it properly, they would register false readings on the ingenious device...

...or maybe worse. Perhaps turn their brain into corned beef. :speech:

@kathycf: Sssssh! I don't know either!

@Des: Wake me up when you notice any actual spam. Until then, I'll be observing the insides of my eyelids.

@Mah: Perhaps a visit to the most Holy Shrine to initiate fresh inductees is in order. You provide the San Miguel, and I'll start making files on 'em.

DesR85 · Post by **DesR85** » Sun May 13, 2007 9:41 am

Maharlika wrote:
@Des: You da man!

Oh yeah!

Time to kill some spam! *Loads clip into Thompson sub-machine gun*

Kipi wrote: Oh, and if you need some good soldiers in your war, here is one!
*raises hand*

Then, welcome to the team, soldier.

All we need now is somebody who is willing to lead the team and 2 more men. We'll decide the class designation after the team is assembled (depending on weapon specialty).

Chanak wrote: @Des: Wake me up when you notice any actual spam. Until then, I'll be observing the insides of my eyelids.

Sure thing, boss.

TheAmazingOopah · Post by **TheAmazingOopah** » Sun May 13, 2007 10:05 am

Not trying to be cheeky, but shouldn't this thread have a 'Spam on Topic' -tag?

By the way, if you want a poet to describe afterwards the heroic deeds of the brave soldiers who fought the War of the Spam, and report boldy of the staggering atrocities performed by the ruthless cans of spam during the endless battles that roared for weeks, setting alight the cold, lonely nights with a terrible white light, turning the days into a burning daze of heat and fire - in other words, if you want a poet for afterwards to blow the trumpet, I might be of use. For a price that is...*

*And with that I mean thousands cans of spam, spam, SPAM!!! Whawhahwhahwhwhaa!!

Fiberfar · Post by **Fiberfar** » Sun May 13, 2007 11:58 am

Hm... This might get ugly if the newest members start embracing Comm...

Kipi · Post by **Kipi** » Sun May 13, 2007 12:06 pm

Fiberfar wrote:Hm... This might get ugly if the newest members start embracing Comm...

ssssshhh!!!

Don't warn them! You could ruin all the fun by doing so...

Fiberfar · Post by **Fiberfar** » Sun May 13, 2007 1:03 pm

Kipi wrote:ssssshhh!!!

Don't warn them! You could ruin all the fun by doing so...

I just thought they should know tha Comm holds a finger in many important things.

COMMunism, COMMunication, COMMerce, COMMunal, COMMunity etc.

AmpaSand · Post by **AmpaSand** » Sun May 13, 2007 1:20 pm

Me And my new spameating pig would like to enlist. SO how?

Fiberfar · Post by **Fiberfar** » Sun May 13, 2007 1:30 pm

AmpaSand wrote:Me And my new spameating pig would like to enlist. SO how?

Don't ask me, I'm not a member of that evi.... ERRR I mean holy group.. Yeah, holy it is.

Kipi · Post by **Kipi** » Sun May 13, 2007 1:38 pm

AmpaSand wrote:Me And my new spameating pig would like to enlist. SO how?

Just leave the application to either Des or Mah, and they will sign you in...

Fiberfar · Post by **Fiberfar** » Sun May 13, 2007 2:11 pm

Kipi wrote: The can get corrupted and turned to the dark side!!

There is no dark side, just a less light one

Hill-Shatar · Post by **Hill-Shatar** » Sun May 13, 2007 7:44 pm

All the good stuff probably died on the loveboat.

Yay for pretending to know about things that have long since been deleted.

A human between all these cans o' walkin' spam!

A forgetful human. I sat there at the log in screen for about ten minutes, trying to remember whether or not I was using the correct log-in screeny.

No one can save us, no one... when you have sold your soul to the Spam, there is no return...

Leaving and forgetting you were a member on this site works.

Great pick up line, down the drain. "I'm a member on GameBanshee, baby..."

AmpaSand · Post by **AmpaSand** » Sun May 13, 2007 10:37 pm

There is no "light side" I just spilt bleach on it.

Recipe.
2 cans of SPAM
3 Teaspoons of garlic
4 bricks
5 inches of fuse
600 pounds of hight expolsive.

Mix all ecept for fuse. Insert fuse. Light. Run.

BaBOOM!

Haha ... Spam... *mutter*

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Sun May 13, 2007 11:40 pm

This would bring tears in Weasel's eyes...

AmpaSand wrote:Me And my new spameating pig would like to enlist. SO how?

... as his vision of a spam-free board continues as the flame of the Olympic Torch.

Des... check.

Kipi... check.

Ampasand... check.

Welcome as neophytes. Agents from the C.I.A. (COMM Intelligence Agency) will be visiting and debriefing you soon.

No, they're not men in white with purple pills.

Those are lackeys of Waverly.

AmpaSand · Post by **AmpaSand** » Mon May 14, 2007 12:49 am

do we get to wear those fake glasses and nose things?

Buy the way

AmpaSand Capital!