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Tired, cold, and near outta beer, BS stared up at the next tunnel. For a moment, he thought about just giving up. All this work, would he even be able to take advantage of an oportunity if it presented itself? Deciding he was most likely too lost to find his way back anyway, he decided to move forward.

Raising his head above the floor, he took stock of the room. It was like nothing he'd ever seen. Cables were running into the room from every angle possible, most running straight into the computer. Looking at the screen, he saw the reason. Every score from every sporting event in the world was being broadcast on the computer. Fearing what he had discoverd, BS gazed around wildly, and sure enough, several parrots were perched about the room. Doing a quick look, he sighed with relief when he noticed all parrots were waxless.

The figure that came in the door confirmed the identity of the occupant. Ty. BS could tell by the bad wig on his head. Maybe Flock of Seagulls never went out of style this far north.

Ty sat down at the computer and actually plugged himself in. His body convulsed as his mind was over run with trivial sporting stats. Oddly enough, the hair never moved. Nothing was quite as indestructable as 80's hair.

The download to his brain complete, Ty looked at his bird. "oh, someone needs a nice long waxing" BS shuddered. The parrot did more than shudder. It evidently had been subjected to this procedure before, and found it as horrible as it sounded. Launching itself into the air, it flew wildly back and forth over Ty's head, prostesting in the most persuasive manner birds had.

"My wig!" Ty screamed. Ripping it from his head, he stared dejectedly at the now soiled relic. He started to scold the parrot, but found he couldn't stay angry at the bird. Still, he needed to raise his spirits, and clapped his hands in joy as an idea came to him. BS was amazed as Ty spoke to himself( and wondered for a minute just why everyone in these tunnels had that habit), deciding to spread joy and happiness to his friends at SYM by posting more 80's lyrics! Yes, they would be appreciated, as most of the women seemed preoccupied with whipping it. Of course that meant they were huge Devo fans, cause what else could whipping mean? BS was amazed at the innocence of this one. Still, one less rival to deal with and all.

Moments later, puzzled over why exactly he had been threatened yet again by Rob-hin, he decided to just call it a night and listen to some tunes. Unfortunatly, he couldn't resist posting just one more lyric as the song played. This seemed to be the breaking point.Moments later, Ty was overjoyed to see an e-mail from Rob arrived. thinking it an apology, Ty opened it, at which moment his computer exploded. This was too much for the parrots frayed nerves to take, and it immediatly launched itself at Ty and closed it's beak on his nose, causing him to fall out of his chair and land in a heap on the floor. The parrot, thus sated, went back to it's perch.

Ty, non plussed, just figured it was the new brand of crackers he had been feeding it. Sighing loudly he decided that when all else failed, a good, hot waxing settled the nerves. BS tripped over himself trying to retreat back into the tunnel, causing a delay that made him witness Ty pouring a gallon of heated turtle wax over his own head and shoulders. Deciding to get out before the buffing could start, BS retreated.

Badly scarred and huddled in a corner of the tunnels, BS drank a long time. he could only hope when he did find his love, he would be drunk enough that all mental images from the past couple room would be long gone. Maybe he should write a book about all this....no, on second thought, no one would believe the last few months anyway




*disclaimer* In no way, shape, or form was any animal abused in any way in the making of this post. Only Ty was harmed, but fortunaltyl, he never noticed *end disclaimer*

LMAO

I've been wondering where you've lost in the tunnel, BS.

ROFLMFAO!

The mental images are too much to bear!

Oh dear, so now we know what Tybs world is really like

I got 3 words for you, BS you ol' drunkard : Brilliant, simply brilliant !

I look forward for your update

HA! Ok...that was histarical ....though I did seem to get the shaft in the end...lowsy wax....

Love the posting lyrics comments....I laughed hard enough to cry there.

Well done, even if it is at my expense.

Now....if only I had a polaroid to show my form at the computer... (that reminds me of a Japan song "Gentleman Take Polaroids" )

Another great one, @BS.

Waiting for updates .....


No worries,

Beldin

Fantastic stuff BS......

LOL..Ty.....Just as I always suspected..

**Bump**

Just because I don't want this GEM to be lost in the nether tunnels of SYM....

No worries,

Beldin

Bump i want more!!!

damn you fas, I had my hopes up for a new update!

Part 1

When AC was quite finished with her sunbathing (KidD had been very chivalrous when he dropped everything he was doing to help her to apply her suntan lotion) she decided that a bit of girl talk was in order. There was only one place to go for the best gossip about the SYM population, and that was to DW’s abode.

Down a few halls, around a few corners, and there it was. The exotic incense that was regularly burned down in the Dark Flame quarter reached Aqua-chan’s nose, and almost instantly ideas for the community Holy Books began to stir in her mind. In the thick of this familiar and comfortable setting was a series of doors where the most experienced Flames lived, and it took AC but a moment to figure out on which side of the hall DW lived on. When she was sorted out the bikini-clad woman rapped on the finely crafted door with her knuckle.

“Come on in,” was the response from the other side. DW was always easy-going like that, and AC loved working with her.

Dragon Wench’s room was, to put it lightly, Heaven. Lit to a relaxing dim, the entire space was a lounge for the occupant… And for whomever she was hosting, of course. Dragon statues and paintings pulled together the theme. Luxurious shag rugs, silk cushions, couches, and pillows, and a master canopy styled bed accented the room very nicely. Even nicer was the display of chain link and leather instruments mounted on the wall; all the equipment had been well oiled and taken care of, signaling that they were well used.

DW herself was laid out over her bed, propped up by a pillow arrangement. In her hand was a tablet, and she chewed on the end of a pen as if in deep thought.

“Writing a new verse?” AC asked, prepared to take seat on the black couch nearest to the door. DW gave a seemingly careless ‘hmm’.

“I was thinking of putting Aegis through an equestrian relapse, but the whim sort of passed,” she explained, setting the tablet on the bedside table. Next to where she placed it was a set of police handcuffs, which really didn’t stand out to AC. “What’s up?”

AC noticed a pile of books that had been thrown about on the floor, and she leaned over the couch to pick up a couple.

“Techniques and Style of the Fine Art of Whip Cracking, and New and Exciting Exercises for the Experienced Dominatrix,” she read aloud with a grin before flipping open the second book to see if there were any diagrams.

“Want to borrow them? I can only imagine BS’s reaction if he spotted those in your room,” DW offered casually, still considering the possibility of Aegis reverting into a steed with leather reigns and a back that could easily be ridden. It would be such a good birthday gift for Gwally…

“Yeah, right. He’ll never get a glimpse into my room. He’d probably have a heart attack and die if he did.”

“Still have the Chippen-Delryn theme?”

“Like I would ever change it. But, you know, it’s the strangest thing,” AC started, “Have you seen him lately?”

“BS? Not recently, no. Is he acting weird again?” Of course, by ‘weird’ DW meant to an extreme degree as the Wanna-Be Lurker was already classified in a pretty unattainable field of… uniqueness. A baffled AC told her story.

“Well, usually all I have to do is say his name and, you know, ‘poof’ - he’s there. But today I needed help applying some sun block.”

“He didn’t show up?” DW, who had known BS far well enough to understand that he would never willingly pass up an opportunity like that, felt herself begin to get worried. The sentiment spread to AC, as well. “That’s curious. Maybe we should go pay him a visit?”

AC gave a ‘Do we have to?’ look, but DW was more concerned with the well being of her co-writers. She knew a way around AC’s reluctance.

“But BS might need our love and our touch right now. We should give him an exclusive reminder as to what sets DF women apart, don’t you think?”

“Of course, can’t have the man feeling uncared for, can we?” The mood change was largely owing to the fact that DW was no longer speaking to the same woman. Or as a woman at all, in that current state of mind.

“Hello, Bobby,” she drawled out smugly.

Part 2

(Continued)
---

It was incomprehensible to the women (Or woman and a half) how there was a two-for-one offer standing right outside his door, but BS refused to answer their calls. DW, who had decided to bring a few of her toys along last minute, even cracked her favorite whip right there in the hall, but to no avail. Nobody came forth to claim the offer.

“Something’s not right.”

“So, what now?”

DW looked at ‘Bobby’ and then back at the door. BS should have been in his room at this hour. Perhaps Fas had lost complete control and had abducted his beloved BS? Had BS gotten himself lost amidst all of his paranoid, delusional L.I.A.R. files? Did he simply pass out from the whiskey? All the options were very possible, but none of them could have kept him from getting to a willing DW and AC standing outside his room.

“Now we go in,” she said bravely, testing the door to see if it was locked. It wasn’t, by some miracle, and DW was a little disappointed to have lost the opportunity to look really sexy by kicking in a locked door.

The first thing that Bobby noticed when he entered the room was that it wasn’t dark, despite being quite abandoned. Every outlet had a night light that illuminated the messy floor. The only other light came from the computer monitor that was currently on screensaver. The scrolling marquee read “Hail the mighty Weasel”.

DW flipped the light switch a few times, but the overhead lights didn’t even flicker. There was an operating counter top lamp that gave the women some help in seeing what they were stepping on, which may or may not have been a good thing.

“Magazines and subscriptions. Hundreds of them!” DW’s partner noted, and she realized AC had reverted to her normal state of mind somewhere along the line, “Male Enhancement Monthly?!”

“Woah.”

What would surprise them more as they unconsciously began picking through BS’s entire personal life was the fact that everything they had come believe BS had stood for was just a bunch of elaborate lies and half-truths. Such was the case when DW located a pink puppy-dog patterned book sticking out from under BS’s mattress.

“Listen to this!” she called for AC’s attention, which had been focused on a seemingly expensive set of camera equipment that had been stored with nothing else but an unusually long trench coat, “I think this is his diary. ‘November 12th. I saw Gwally out earlier today; he was examining Yshania's apples once again. But he left his Louisville Slugger close enough for me to see, and now I wonder if that’s the real secret? Maybe if I stole it women would adore me too? Or, maybe I should also steal Fable's cane; he does seem to have a certain way about him as well. I wonder which is more potent a tool?’ ”

“Let me see that.” DW handed the book to AC, who sat on the messy bed and began reciting earlier entries. “‘January 27th. Dear Diary. Every time I look at Anomen’s…’ Oh, my god!”

“What? Keep reading!”

“…Every time I look at Anomen's manly physique... his muscles rippling as he puts on his armor, I feel just overcome... by... how shall I say it? Weak-kneed urges... But... damn that arrogant knight! He only has eyes for those women who gather about him, "his Dark Flames," he calls them! It makes me so angry; I could offer him so much more!!!"

The two women looked at one another, horror and disbelief reflecting clearly in their expressions.

Finally, DW broke the silence. “I always knew he was ‘special’ but I didn’t realize he was quite this eccentric.”

“Eccentric!” cried AC. “You make him sound like some kind of aristocratic with a fetish for hounds and tweeds. No, this is much more serious.”

DW snorted at the thought of BS getting cozy with canines while dressed in tweeds. Suddenly, she saw another garment of some kind crumpled up near BS’s pillow. Gingerly she tugged on it and shook it out.

“Oh my God!’ DW exclaimed. “It’s a pair of adult-sized sleepers with a rubber ducky print all over them!”

AC snickered and barely containing her tears of laughter, pointed to the somewhat square flap in garment’s posterior.

It was at this precise juncture that the familiar shuffle of feet, accompanied by a clank of bottles sounded outside the door. With alacrity, AC and DW bolted into BS’s wall closet, not even thinking at what could be lurking within.

“Damn, something smells in here!”

“Shhh…”

“Ugh, it’s an ancient tuna sandwich.”

“Shhh!”

Outside, they heard BS crashing about his room.

Suddenly the phone rang, and they heard BS pick it up. “Oh, it’s you. What do you want? … No, I’m not a wanker! And how many times have I told you not to call me ‘Snookums!’ … It wasn’t a date, Fas, we were just shooting pool with Sytze! … No, I’m not jealous of him!”

The two women in the closet began to helplessly snort and giggle.

BS hung up the phone.

“Dang… what’s that sound in there… Turkey has always just given me little green men coming out of corners. Maybe they’re trying to communicate with me now!”

It was too much, AC and DW collapsed into hysterics and in the resulting chaos fell out of the closet. BS simply stood, slack jawed; he then went faintly white, and then bright red when he noticed that his dairy, subscription to “Male Enhancement Monthly,” and rubber ducky sleepers were still clutched in AC’s arms.

“Er, honest... I can explain,” he stammered out, seemingly unaware that the women ought not to be in his room. Of course, it could have also been the way they were attired. AC was in her bikini, while DW wore a distinctly translucent sarong, and equally revealing halter. His eyes glazed, BS wondered desperately how he could turn the unexpected visit to his advantage. DW grinned…evilly... and whispered something to AC. In reply, AC snickered gleefully.

“Come BS, I’ll bet it is a while since you have tasted the whip,” said DW cracking the well oiled toy in her hand. BS began to grin inanely.

DW pointed to BS’s bed, which, as luck would have it, was a four poster. With the air of an eager but docile puppy BS wandered over to it, and happily spread himself across the ill-laundered sheets. DW idly began to work her magic, and AC set to work, with BS seemingly oblivious. Within moments, BS was cuffed to his bed, and the two women stepped out into the hall, still armed with BS’ diary, magazine and rubber ducky sleepers.

ROFLMAO! great stuff!!

[QUOTE=Yshania]ROFLMAO! great stuff!![/QUOTE]

Thanks Sis, we had fun writing it, you might say the subject was "inspirational"

Is there nothing sacred in these halls anymore? No haven for a wandering hermit?

BTW...ROTFLMMFAOTMGDSH

It was worth it for the bikini and sarong

LOL, I was recently utilising the search feature and this thread came up and I thought to myself, 'BS never even got to finish his tale'. Its good to see that its around.

Lmao!!!!!! Pwned!!! :d

That was a rare treat! ROFL!

but I don't think I want the birthday present DW was considering.....

[QUOTE=Gwalchmai]That was a rare treat! ROFL!

but I don't think I want the birthday present DW was considering..... [/QUOTE]

But Aegis made such a high-spirited young filly the last time round, I'm sure he'd be just the perfect thing for you