The Order of the Dark Flame: Book 5. (story, no spam)

[Vivien]

Viv took her eyes off the lop eared rabbit in her arms, getting a feeling that something was very, very wrong.

The ring on her finger felt warm again, and that was never a good sign…feeling almost tranced she stepped forward, the shapes around her almost blurred as they moved. Clashing steel and shouting rang around her and she clutched the furry shape to her, wondering why she felt the wrongness here so. Something rushed past her, slamming her back, and she saw through the battle haze a slouched figure.

The cat person was looking battered and bloody, but her scimitar was still resolutely held. From what she knew, Aqua Chan was a fighter type, and the first hard truth for a mage was to find a fighter (preferably a big one) to hide behind so you could cast spells. Granted her first master had termed fighters serving that purpose as ‘Simian Cattle’, but she’d never thought of it that way. When she reached the cat persons side she realized that Aqua was more than just a little bloody, the other female was shaking slightly, her oddly colored eyes flickering from worry to pain to other unreadable emotions.

“Hey.” She said quietly, reaching out to help support her hurt friend.

[dragon wench]

Conscious of the dichotomy between the fire's warmth and the acute cold beyond the confines of the cabin, Dragon Wench looked at him mutely...trying to formulate the words that might convey the range of emotions lacerating.....fragmenting....her every fibre. Profound confusion accompanied the vicious tearing that continued to reign within. Struggling to make sense of all that had occurred she cast her eyes about the cabin and wondered where she was.....wondered if the vision before her eyes was real or mere illusion....... The warmth.....Jerrenn's presence...felt real.....as real as it ever had....but she was fearful that the chaos she had experienced since his abrupt departure had finally overwhelmed her....that the lucidity she had tried so hard to retain had fled from her fragile grasp.....just as Jerrenn had fled from all they had shared......

Although she remained silent...her eyes mirrored the words still locked within. Indescribable hurt, despair, anger, bitterness....and despite it all......intense longing..... were refracted within the prism of her gaze.

Finally, her voice....husky with pain and need....yet edged with venom.....broke into the nearly impenetrable silence......across the chasm..... that lay between them. Driven by the feral force of all that she felt....by the cold emptiness that had replaced the luminous magic she remembered...... her words hurled themselves from her....as if by their own accord.

"Why you have you brought me to this place.......? Is this safer for you than just allowing me to see you as you are? Don't say it is safer for me....." This last...escaped her lips...almost as a hiss.... "You left because you said you feared for me.....but I think it was more the case that you are afraid for yourself......afraid to truly embrace the depth of our love...because maybe...just maybe....it could force you to acknowledge your humanity...the man you truly are...... Did it ever occur to you....that your leaving could hurt me far more than the presumed nobility of your flight? Did you ever stop to consider that maybe we could have battled whatever darkness haunts you...together....?"

Drained by the ferocity of what she had expressed....she turned away....afraid that perhaps she had said too much.....that maybe he would think she had lashed out from her place of torment and anguish...in an effort to hurt. Her eyes....glistening now.... again met his. "Jerrenn....I love you....you know this...... I would never deliberately do anything to cause you pain......but you need to answer my questions. If you still value all we have shared....to do so is something you owe....not only to me...but to yourself. Please tell me.....honestly......why you fled from me....why you never really allowed me to touch the burden you carry? At this point.....I need to know what is true."

[thantor3]

Jerren rose from his chair and sat near her on the floor. She could see that he was hurting… uncharacteristically, he did not try to shield it from her. "I brought you here because you were dying and because there was no way I could physically reach you in time to be of assistance. As to why I left…" he paused, reaching deep inside himself to bring from within the truth as he knew it. "No, I did not stop to think. I just reacted. I was horrified, Drina… confused -- yes, and afraid. There was nothing noble about my flight. It was purely instinctive, though I stand by my actions. Not knowing what else to do, not knowing what would happen to me, I needed time… a space in which to figure out what was going on. As everything unfolded, I only knew that I was… tainted." The sadness and pain that this single word contained was obvious. "I felt that to stay would be to contaminate you… how could I do that? How could I let this horrible thing happen to you as well?" His face twisted into a grimace of disgust and anger, then slowly melted into despair. She had never seen him look so sad… or so defeated.

He looked up into her eyes, tears forming in his own, and he said quietly. "I am… so very sorry…" He was unable to finish the sentence.

[dragon wench]

Touching him with her eyes she gritted her teeth....desperately striving for some measure of control.

Haltingly, the words came....."Yes, I have been dying ever since you were first snatched from my life....... When you emerged from the void.....I scarcely believed that it was real.....I had never dreamed that I would actually have the chance to hold you in my arms once more......" She choked back a sob, and then continued...... "But when you left.....so recently......it was more than I could bear..... When I realised the utter finality of your absence early this morning.....my first desire was to die.....to finally depart from the tangled horror my life has become."

She saw him reel slightly as he grasped the full impact and significance of her statement. Hesitating, she spoke again......"When I stepped out into that battle....allowed myself to be eviscerated by the Drow.....I truly wanted it to end..... I'm sorry Jerren....I'm sorry if I'm hurting you by telling you that.....but you need to know what I feel. "

"You speak of a taint....you say you don't want to contaminate me...... Yet you have never fully described to me the exact nature of that taint..... You have never given me the chance to judge for myself how much it might or might not hurt me. And how much better is our current situation......do you really believe that my present way of being is somehow purer than permitting me to actually understand what you feel has so poisoned you? You knew.....when you battled against the dark void....when you succeeded in escaping its hold.....that there would be risks....but you defied them nonetheless....and you reached out to me....allowed me to believe that your escape from death was real."

"You always placed me on a pedestal Jerren.....always somehow associated me with the Divine. Was that so you could find a reason to remain at something of a distance? I am flesh and blood.... I am neither a child nor some sort of goddess....."

Responding to the agony of his expression......to the depth of her emotions...... her tone softened......"Please talk to me........please tell me what it is that devours you from the very core..... I've always trusted you Jerren.....Please.....for your sake...for mine.... allow me to understand the demons that plague you...... They have already began to consume me.....confronting them directly will not cause me more horror than I have already experienced...... As it stands now...I want to die....your shielding me from what rages within you will not protect me from anything.....not from you...not from myself."

[Gwalchmai]

A groan distracted Gwalchmai from the tumult of the battle. He was startled to see Thantor lying among the rocks. Rushing to his friend’s side, he knelt. “What happened?”

“An acid trap,” Thantor croaked, “I ran into it blindly.”

Gwalchmai could see that the acid had done a great amount of damage, but that Thantor’s own Regeneration spell was slowly putting things to right. However, Thantor’s Regiment of Mielikki had seen better days, the image of the Unicorn was barely discernable through the sticky acid burns.

Thantor groaned again and closed his eyes. Despairing, he whispered, “It was a novice mistake. How could I have been so stupid?”

Gwalchmai felt a flush of irritation. He hated it when his friends, especially friends he respected as much as he did Thantor, cursed themselves for making simple mistakes. “It was an honest mistake.”

“No!” Thantor said savagely, “I should be out there helping!” He pointed with a blistered finger toward the battle. “Look! Dragon Wench is down! Aqua-Chan is wounded! Everyone is fighting for their lives, yet here I am trying to recover from a simple trap!”

Gwalchmai said the words and helped to heal Thantor a little more, giving the Regeneration a hand. Then he took his cloak and emptied his water flask onto it. Wiping the acid from Thantor, he stalled for time, searching for the right way to respond to his despondent friend. Truth be told, Gwalchmai had always felt that he, himself, had sort of cornered the market on making dumb mistakes, and that if anyone had the right to wallow in emasculating self-doubt, it would be he, rather than Thantor. For someone like Thantor, intelligent, proud, and powerful, to wail in despair when he finds that he is, after all, human, boggled Gwalchmai’s mind.

“This small mistake does not define who you are, at the core,” Gwalchmai began quietly, “You entered the trap blindly, but took the brunt of it. What you do now is your own choosing.” Gwalchmai’s voice began to grow louder. “You cannot let she who laid the trap guide your response! Look at who you are! You are Blessed of Mielikki! None other can claim that title!” Now Gwalchmai was practically shouting. “Take control! Fly in the face of the trapster who seeks to hold you down! Defeat your own demons by defeating the enemies before you!”

Gwalchmai pushed Thantor’s twin maces into his hands, then left him, confident that he would do what was necessary and right. Confident that the love of his friends here in this cavern, could be the support he needed to help him face his own humanity.

[thantor3]

It had been so long since he had allowed himself to feel anything truly human that he thought for a moment that he would lose himself in the cyclone of precipitously contradictory experiences swirling inside him. To see her again… but in so much pain… to feel her so close… and knowing that she sought death because of him. How did they get to this place? How was it possible to go from the sacred rapture they had celebrated in one another, winged moments of joy spilling forth like fountains in the sunrise… to this wasteland where they both longed for death, wanting nothing more than to snuff out their lives?

Emotions screeched inside him like twisted pack animals, circling and desperate. The interior of the cabin began to fade in and out, like an image disturbed on the surface of a pond, as the chaos inside him swept him up, hacking away at the connection between them. Dragon Wench understood immediately what was happening and looked pleadingly in his eyes. "Please…" Caught between the incessant raging of his long suppressed feelings and the inviting stillness of the void, he barely heard her. But the resonance of her voice resounded within him… and he made his choice. Haltingly, he reached out and took her hand. The cabin stabilized. The fire once again crackled in the fireplace.

"There is no need for you to apologize to me," he said slowly. "Where we are is in large part my doing and I take full responsibility for this. And while I would do anything to change the past and erase your pain, I will not allow you to re-write all that we have been because of it. I worshipped you, Drina, because to me you are a goddess, but my veneration never required a pedestal. Search your heart and you will find that anyplace we were together could have been a temple and often was. And, yes, there are always fears when we two people make themselves vulnerable to love. But they were not about the exploration of my humanity or my manhood, but in the thought of loss… or abandonment…. or of not being good enough. You speak of risks and I would ask you to remember that we faced them -- together-- every time, hoping for the best. And it was denied us. No happily ever after… no fairy tale ending. Now we have a choice: cannibalize what we were in blame and recrimination in order to assuage the pain we feel by convincing ourselves it was all a lie or…"

"Or?"

"Or I can grant your request. I don't have the ability to tell you in words the horror that I live with every day, but I can show you. Realize that I have no way of knowing what this will do to you, how it might change you. But if this is what you want, I will not deny it to you."

[dragon wench]

It was a long time before she replied.....Gently....simply trying to convey that she was there...that he was not alone....she squeezed his hand. Pondering over what he had said, she swallowed hard.

Dragon Wench felt again a need to apologise at the bitter harshness that had tinged her earlier words..... But she sensed that perhaps there was no need.....that he understood the intensity.....the confusion....that had generated this kalaidoscope of raw and visceral emotion. She hung her head.....and choked back the tears that gathered like a storm......feeling wretched and consumed by sorrow at the tattered threads that now threatened to choke off all that had been.

Softly she spoke...."I'm not sure why you believe you must shoulder so much...I never have been......no situation is ever the fault of one individual." The sad ghost of a smile flickered across her expression...."My own life, in addition to all the time I have spent studying the consequences of magic whilst digging amongst ancient tomes and scrolls, has taught me that....."

Again she looked into his eyes.....and the anguish she felt was mirrored by what she saw painfully etched across his face. "You are so special to me.....however could you think you might not be good enough.... You feared loss or abandonment.....but look at us now...."

The words lay suspended between them...like a pendulum balancing between the two extremes of an abyss.

"I don't know what it is that haunts you so Jerren.....but I want you to know that I am here and that I am prepared to accept the realities of whatever you decide to show me..... Perhaps you will reveal the depths of some kind of monstrous depravity....but we have also experienced wonders that I did not know existed....and you have helped me to defeat some of my own demons....many times over....... how could I ever forget that? Please.......if you can't share the burden of your nightmare with me....at least allow me to see the horror with which you live.....because I care so very deeply.....because otherwise I will never understand the reasons behind your flight....and that will torment me far more than whatever you disclose."

At that....her gaze locked into his....and for a long moment only the crackling of flames..... the occasional murmur of snow against glass... the brush of wind.... punctuated the whispering silence........

[Aegis]

The battle was almost over by the time Mysteria had helped him up. Off to the side, he could see both Nippy and Farscape fighting valiantly, and sending many of the underdark denizens to their graves. Aqua-chan and Vivien had found each other in the tulmolt, and seemed to be doing, but he couldn't seem to find Yshania, Dragon Wench, Thantor and Gwally. He merely shurrged it off, and continued forward, not fearing that the capable Dark Flames were alright. The two warriors seemed to clean up the fight well, using their size against the drow, but were still out numbered. The ranger decided to run that way. He made his way over the corpse of a drow, and to where the two men were fighting back to back.

"Hail, Elfie!" called Farscape, the same grin on his face as always. "Here to shed the blood of evil?" He spoke casually, almost enjoying the combat. Aegis nodded, and gave a wry smirk, before turning to engage an orc..

As the thick skinned orc came barrelling over the corpse Aegis had just crossed, the ranger poised his sword to thrust as soon as it was within range. Just before he could smell the rank breath, though, he heard the sound of the hide being penetrated, and then the loud roar of an angry orc as it collpased to the ground. Aegis relaxed somewhat, and looked at the orcs sneaky assassin. His lips curled into a grin when he saw Mysteria standing on the other side, one hand on her hip, the other holding her blade over her shoulder.

"Your just always getting into trouble, aren't you, Aegis?" She chuckled, and climbed over the bodies, and beside the elven ranger.

By the time the two had readied themselves for another enemy to come on the attack, the sounds of battle had died down, almost stopped completly. Aqua-chan and Vivien had made short work of the remaining enemies on their side, and Farscape and Nippy could more then enough trophies, if they so wished.

As the ranger moved to run a quick check of the perimetre, he felt a slight tugging on his arm. He turned to see Mysteria holding him back for a second.

"Thank you, Aegis."

He nodded, and smiled. "Of course."

[Yshania]

Yshania was distracted by the sound of Gwalchmai shouting, never before had she heard her gentle friend raise his voice so, and at their comrade! By the time Yshania reached them, Gwalchmai was stalking away, but his facial expression contradicted his posturing. She caught his eye and something passed between them...he was concerned, and this only amplified Yshania's sense that this hell they were in was attempting to divide them, weaken them. Gwalchmai was a rock, a true example of a disciplined druid, and to see him react as he had made Yshania smile despite their situation. The Dark Flames are strong!! she assured herself, we have to be able to rely on each other and not let this doom divide and destroy this magic that has brought us all together.

She turned to Thantor and held out her hand to help him up. Shakily he stood. 'Come on!' she said. As the torchlight flickered across Thantors face, she noticed his skin burned and peeling 'ah!'

'I'm fine!' he responded, almost irritated 'a stupid oversight'

'You are a cleric, not a rogue' Yshania smiled 'that trap could have taken any one of us here...' she did not finish. Simbul had glided up beside her and was listening in, her arrogant posturing irritated the druid 'and you! you can take your withering scrutiny elsewhere!' she hissed, then beneath her breath she muttered about perfection and how it defied nature, how it was the flaw - the individuality - that was the beauty...to be able to gracefully accept one's limitations is the first step to being able to embrace one's strengths...

Reaching Dragon Wench, she took the fighter's hand and pulled her to her feet. 'You too' she said. Dragon Wench stood as requested, but her eyes were still vacant and staring. Retrieving the fighter's armour, Yshania searched her friends pack for her bag of holding and dropped the mail inside. Taking her friend's hand she lead her back towards Gwalchmai, Thantor, Vivien and T'lainya...

'Is there anyone else in need of healing?' she asked, glancing around the cavern...

[dragon wench]

The warmth of the cabin.....somehow familiar.....crept into her heart.....and eased the icy cold that had gripped her for too long. Again.....she thought about all Jerren had said....and she saw the flicker of pain in his expression.

Dragon Wench tried to search for the words..... Finally in a barely audible tone she addressed him again....." I know how very sorry you are....and I've never doubted anything you've ever felt."

"You spoke of options......I don't want the beauty of all we have shared to end in blame and recrimination....that would make a mockery of something that was always extroardinary..... "

She paused, meeting his eyes....." If you feel able to show me...I would like to better understand the scars you carry....but if this is too painful......" She trailed away and looked out towards the window........

"I'm not sure I understand where I am....but if it is somewhere we can meet........ For however long it is possible...... I would like it to be a place of peace....a place where maybe we can slowly come to terms with all that has passed....."

[thantor3]

He looked up into her eyes, and she could feel that he had allowed himself to open to her… allowed some of the vulnerability he had always shared with her to return. "A place of peace and healing. I would like that very much," he murmured. It broke his heart to see her like this, struggling with the chaos of emotions that separation and loss engender… But as often happened when they were together, he also experienced the deep sense of respect and admiration he held for her. He was acutely aware of how difficult all of this must be for her, yet her humanity and grace had not faltered nor had she allowed her heart to close. As he continued to look deeply into her eyes, all of his feelings for her gathered together into a stillness that was his love for her…. the way small creeks and streams might quietly empty into a pristine lake… and as his love increased, so did his pain…. and as the pain increased, so did his love… "For even as love crowns you, so will it crucify you…"

Once again the interior of the cabin began to flicker into transparency, and Jerrenn reluctantly lowered his gaze, leaving the warmth and beauty of Dragon Wench's eyes. "I cannot maintain this connection for long periods of time," he said softly. "And besides, our friends have need of you. I will come again and take you to the place inside if it is still your wish… but do not forget my warning. Contact with the void will change you… I have no idea in what way or how deeply. Think carefully about whether this is something you truly wish to pursue." And like a breath that gently blows out a candle, he was gone.

[Aegis]

After making a quick circle of the room, but not of the adjacent tunnels, Aegis slowed his pace, and sheathed Sun Fang. Almost as soon as he relaxed, he felt the stiffness in his joints, and the tightness of his muscles. How long had it been since he last got any rest? Almost a day, perhaps. The ranger wasn't sure. He could hear the Dark Flames talking amongst themselves, most of them anyways. Somewhere in the thick of things, they seemed to have lost of Thantor and Gwally. The ranger shrugged it off, knowing that both men were perfectly capable of handling themselves, and that the main group would probably not leave without their return. As Aegis walked back to the group, every step seemed to become riddled with a dull pain, one of fatigue. He quickly decided it would be best to stop, and gather himself before returning.

Confident enough that the threat of the drow and orcs was far enough away from them, he slowly lowered himself to the ground. Crossing his legs, he folded his hands into his lap, and closed his eyes. He began to focus on the rythem of his breathing, blocking all the sounds and distractions.

"Fleeing Trademeet won't help, Aegis."

"I am not fleeing, Saranflythin. I am venturing out into the world."

The elven woman folded her arms across her chest as she heard the answer from the elven ranger. "And is the company of elves so vile to you? That you must leave your home?"

Aegis turned to the woman. "Do not speak to me about vileness!" His face flushed with colour as he turned back around, and continued to sort out his few meager possessions for the road. "That family needed our aid. We turned them down..." Aegis spoke the last words quietly, almost in disbelief.

"They are outsiders, Aeagislenoth! They are not one of us!" Saran said boldly. "Your love for outsides is known throughout Trademeet! It has brought unwelcome guests to our borders. Every day we have more and more people to deal with."

"Because we live longer, that is no excuse for shutting those who need our help out."

"Very well... Live with your ideals." Saran turned, and marched towards the exit of the dwelling. As she opened the door, she snapped her head around, and towards Aegis. "But I will not share my bed with one who treats outsiders better then his own kin." With that, Saran slammed the door shut, leaving Aegis alone in the building, a mass of belongings in front of him.

He leaned heavily over his belongings, his hands having stopped at the sound of the door closing. For long moments, he stared blankly towards his possessions, not moving, until the faint glimmer of a small trinket to the side cought his eye. He looked over. It was a small silver locket. It was elven design, and various symbols adorned the rim. He gently palmed it, and opened it in one hand. Inside, the image of him and Saran had been magically engraved. Almost as fast as he noticed the trinket, it was snapped shut, and placed to the side. The ranger then stood up straight, and shouldered his pack of belongings. Without a look back, he left the building himself. He left his world behind...

[dragon wench]

As Jerren faded away so did the cabin....and with an almost surreal sense of something snapping Dragon Wench found herself once more in the cavern.

Profoundly disoriented, she waited for her eyes to adjust to the dim light......somehow it seemed even blacker than it had before. Still feeling extremely weak.....and confused...... she crouched down....trying to make sense of her recent experience.......

Dragon Wench knew, beyond any doubt, that she had been in a small cabin with Jerren....but...... in the swirling haze of her mind...how he had brought her there remained very unclear. He had mentioned.....the void.....a place in which he seemed, in a way, to dwell....he had spoken of its dangers while offering to show her this inner darkness...... Through her own understanding of magic, she knew there was always great danger attatched to tremondous energy or power......she had accepted this as part of her vocation....rarely did she fear it. Indeed.....those forces....just slightly beyond human or elven comprehension.....had always compelled her....and she found herself drawn to the hints of uncertain darkness that often lurked just below the surface of her consciousness........ Yet.....she was conscious that her awareness of such energies had intensified since.......... She closed her eyes and tried hard not to let her thoughts dwell upon her last night with Jerren...... attempting instead to concentrate on the feeling of warmth and peace the cabin had provided.

Despite the sudden surge of grief that accompanied her thoughts....her curiosity rose to the surface....and Dragon Wench realised she needed to consider the many implications of what had occurred.

As inwardly focused as she had been, she had failed to consider that she was without armour.......Still crouching, Dragon Wench reached into her pack....but instead of pulling out cold metal she found herself seeking a mage robe instead. She paused, and then wrapped herself within its folds...welcoming its softness. Suddenly ....... she had little taste for melee combat........

[thantor3]

"She's right you know," noted Simbul as Yshania stalked off.

"About your withering scrutiny," Thantor replied petulantly.

A sly smile touched Simbul's lips. "I've never had any complaints about my scrutiny. Quite the opposite, actually." When Thantor did not respond to her playful attempt to lighten the mood, Simbul continued in a more serious tone. "Yshania is right about being a bit more gentle with yourself. If I am not mistaken, dwelling on what occurred with Georgi contributed to the current situation, no?"

Thantor sighed heavily. "You see too much."

"No… not too much. Too many times. The curse of the old." She settled down next to him. "Lack of perspective is lethal, old friend. Never forget this. All victories are first won in the mind, not by the sword."

"I've never confronted anything like this…." he said, almost to himself. "It strikes from a place against which I have no defense… no resources…."

"Your humanity it not an enemy, Thantor…" Simbul reply, her head c0cked in a knowing fashion. "But your doubt and despair are." The way she said this caught his attention and looked at her curiously, realizing that he had never consider the level of pain and despair Simbul must have suffered to achieve the goals she had attained. Surely it must have felt at times like the gods themselves where against her… yet she never succumbed, never gave quarter. He smiled at her. "You should open a school."

Simbul laughed. "Yes, Yshania and Gwalchmai would be my first students no doubt, given how devoted they are to me."

"I always thought Gwally was simply angling for closer scrutiny," Thantor retorted, his smile broadening.

"Really? I didn't realize his tastes were… so sophisticated." She paused, pretending to consider this thoughtfully as she floated up to her usual aerial position. "Being that he is a druid, I should really get to the root of this when things are not so dire." Thantor shook his head and went over to assist Yshania… and to offer her an apology for his irritable behavior.

[Yshania]

'You're apologising to me?' Yshania laughed kindly, 'what did I do?' She looked at him for a long moment then 'you are serious, aren't you? Look...if you ever do bother me, be sure I will say so' She shot a glance towards Simbul, expecting to see the mage wearing her usual smirk. But Simbul only looked curiously in their direction, and after a while she turned from Yshania's glare.

Reading Yshania's thoughts Thantor interrupted 'You know? we could actually learn something from Simbul, if only we listened'

Yshania retorted 'She behaves as though we are here to serve her needs...she could learn something from us too!'

'Oh?'

'Look at her! Standing aloof, only ever hanging onto the fringe of the group. If she really knew as much as she thinks she does, she might well appreciate that her arrogance and dismissive attitude will not endear her...that we are here for each other, not to prove some lofty individual status. What is heroic about the Dark Flames is how they stand together, not how they stand alone'

'Has she really been given a chance?' he smiled kindly at the druid. Yshania bit back her response 'remember she was there for you in the glade' he offered. Yshania sighed, and looked from Thantor back to Simbul, who was trying to appear preoccupied.

'I will try, I guess...I owe her that much. I can't promise anything though. She...she reminds me of someone I once knew.' Thantor raised an eyebrow questioningly, then smiled.

'I see, and this person realised the error of her ways alone did she?'

'No, she took a good slap in the face to bring her to her senses...but the difference between them was she never thought she knew it all, she was just happy to sit behind the mask of indifference whilst people around her were hurt and turned away by her attitude. Anyway, like I said...I will try.'

'Listen to yourself' he said kindly 'you don't know her, you only know what you have seen'

'Ok, ok...point taken'

She hugged him, letting go quickly as he winced in pain 'oh! sorry, I forgot!' Yshania cringed, 'you should do something about those burns Than, before they become open to infection' He smiled and nodded his head.

'Yes, I know this'

The druid smiled and stooped to recover her pack. Glancing up she saw Dragon Wench rummaging through her own bag. 'Hey!' she called softly, straightening and walking towards the fighter 'hey! are you ok?' she crouched beside Dragon Wench and put her hand on her forearm 'I didn't expect to see you for a while, I am glad you are back here with us'

Dragon Wench looked up, a torrent of different emotions swam across her features 'I am ok, I think...tired, but ok. Thank you.' she returned to her pack and pulled out a mage cloak. Yshania guessed her friends intention, and was happy that she had made this decision.

'Maybe we will talk later' Yshania said smiling.

'Yes, I think I would like that' replied Dragon Wench, returning the gesture.

[Mysteria]

Having completed checking the perimeter for any foes with Aegis, Mysteria took the time to take a look around, searching for each of her friends. Luckily for her, the flames of the fire prince still bathed the cave in their red light so she was able to see.

Nippy, Farscape and Bloodstalker were off to one side, Farscape and Bloodstalker counting how many foes each of them had cut down, each of them betting that he had taken down most. Standing a bit apart, Nippy at first frowned at their boasting, then couldn't help a satisfied smile creeping up on smiting so much evil.

Reassured that their fighters were doing all right, she turned to look over at Aqua-chan, slightly worried after having heard her scream out at the top of her lungs during battle. Mysteria was relieved to see Vivien cradling an apparently hurt Aqua-chan in her arms, trying to force another potion down her throat though the cat-creature was already struggling to get up again. Mysteria couldn't help but smile, once Vivien got her hands on something cute and fluffy, she wouldn't let go of it very soon, even if it was a full grown fighter-druid.

Letting her gaze travel further, the ranger spared Thantor and Gwalchmai but one look as they seemed to be discussing something, the Symbul nearby. Suddenly, her worry about Dragon Wench was back, and she was somewhat reassured to see Yshania crushing next to her friend.

Still, the view made her feel her own tiredness, every bone in her body aching from the continous strain placed on her. With a sigh, she let herself drop on the floor next to Aegis. Staring ahead, she felt desperation rise again, making her want to just give up. There had been so many fights, they had been driven from one frenzy into the next, one situation becoming worse than the preceding, and now ... Dragon Wench abandoning battle, Thantor actually having an argument with Gwalchmai, ... She felt as if everything she had found in the Darkflames in such a short time was coming apart ....

But, no! She resolutely wiped the blood off her weapons and checked her bowstring. They would not give up, they would not! A sudden surge of magic almost made her lose all her determination again, but her panic died down when she noticed the single, white and star-shaped flower her magic had made to grow on the dark rock of the cave. Carefully picking it off the ground, the tender roots easily unwrapping themselves from the hard rock, she held it up in her hand ...

"Ice Star ...", she had seen this beautiful flower only once, after the hard winter she had passed in Neverwinter. Looking fragile, almost ehtereal, the little blossom was in fact one of the hardiest plants she had ever found. Piercing the snow before any other, it was hailed by the people of Neverwinter as the first sign of the end of winter, a bearer of hope that winter would end again ...

Hope ... , she thought, then carefully wrapped a piece of cloth around the tiny plant and stored it in an empty bottle. If ever they came through this, and the flower was still alive, she'd plant it, to remember that there was hope even in the darkest of times. As if in response, she became aware of Dragon Wench rummaging in her pack, apparently having refound the will to live.

Still smiling, Mysteria turned to Aegis, who seemed lost in thought, staring ahead. For a few moments, she observed him, but as he just stared blanky, she began to be slightly worried, not wanting to have another friend trying to escape into his own mind.

Finally, she quietly asked, "Aegis?", then again, as no reaction came, "Aegis? Are you alright?", but it wasn't until she gingerly touched his arm that the ranger actually stirred.

"Are you OK?", she asked again. "Hmhm", he mumbled, still lost in thought.

Letting her hand fall down again, she took Fang in her arms and waited for the ranger to stir again, unsure if he'd just raise and walk away, or share some of his thoughts. She would just have to wait and see ...

[Aegis]

The rangers eyes opened slowly, as if awakening from a daze. As he became aware of where he was again, memoires of his life in Trademeet came flooding back to him. It had only been a few weeks since leaving his home, and his life. While it wasn't long in elven terms, it ached inside of him deeply. He slowly became aware of the gentle nudging on his arm.

"Are you OK?"

He could here the words, but they didn't register right away. Instead, a muffled sound came form his lips. He was somewhere inbetween consciousness, and a waking dream. He knew he was in the caves, but he continued to see flashes of Saran, and his life. As the seconds passed, though, the vivid, bright images of his life slowly faded to grey, before vanishing completly. His heart welled up with sorrow, making every bone in his body ache. He wasn't sure if it was a case of home sickness, fatigue, or just the hurt of loss.

He was suddenly aware of everything around him again. He shook his head slightly, and blinked a few tims to clear his thoughts.

"Aegis?" Mysteria looked over, having finally seen movement on the side. "Are you alright?"

The ranger turned to look at his companion, his good eye looking more like it's milky, clouded twin. He nodded. "Yes. I am fine." his voice sounded shakey, almost unsure, something Mysteria had never expected to hear from the confident elf. "I'm just," he paused, and looked ahead of him again, into the darkness of the caves. "I'm just thinking about some things."

"Are you sure? You seem somewhat distant..." Mysteria kept pushing, hoping to break the thick wall the ranger had placed around him, hoping to gain some insight about him.

For long moments, Aegis didn't respond. He sat staring ahead of him. Mysteria, though, felt that he had gone back into his shell, after the long silence. As she was turning back to Fang, to give him some attention, the ranger beagn to speak again.

"Have you ever lived in an elven city?" He didn't bother turning his head to look at her. Mysteria looked back to Aegis, and shook her head, curious as to where this was leading. "It is a pit of discrimination, and resentment. Elves think they are better then the rest of the world. They do this by locking up their cities and towns, and keeping outsiders away." It turned towards Mysteria. "It is a very different world, then the one you, and the other Dark Flames live in. In the world of elves, there is no tolerance, no understanding, towards those not of our blood." He turned away again. "There is little tolerance for those who sympathize." He then leaned back, against the rock face, resting his head along the hard edge.

For some reason, as Msyteria watched the ranger speak, he seemed to dull. His bright, honey blond hair seemed to have developed a few greys, and his skin tone was developing a pastey texture. He had changed in the few days she had known him, but how, she didn't know.

[Aqua-chan]

Aqua-chan blinked several times before she realized that she was down on the floor with another hovering over her. She had just recently met all these people and didn't know many names, but she already realized they were all close friends -- almost family.

Clashes of blades and maces thundered all around. There were screeches of pain and laughs of triumph from both sides as each took down their enemy. The battle was very leveled out -- it was almost like nobody seemed to have an advantage.

The blonde mage pulled Aqua-chan's head and neck up; cradling her in a way to protect and defend. The hybrid wasn't to sure what was happening in the world any further away than that. She was focused on trying to move, to get up and keep fighting. Why, she didn't know.

If you die here, you won't have to worry about attacking the Dark Flames later...

"No!" she snapped aloud, causing the mage, Vivien, to jump a little. Aqua-chan's outburst was unexpected, and she wanted to cover the reason. "I can still fight! Let me up: I have healing scrolls."

Vivien seemed reluctant to let the woman go, seeing as she was more than just slightly injured. The drow were still vicious, and a fighter in a weak spot such as this should not be fighting.

"Just lie down. We'll get Gwally over here soon-"

"I don't need help! I just have to-"

...to kill this woman that is trying to help you when you're injured.

"NO!" she screamed again. The thoughts that ran through her head hurt, but they were so true. The Shadow Druids would not accept her if the Abomination was destroyed, but these people did not deserve to die. The cat woman paused for a second, then looked back to Vivien, who, had an expression that reached farther than 'confused'. "I'm sorry. We...we need to find Thantor soon. There is something I must tell this group when we can."

[Yshania]

Yshania pretended not to overhear the conversation as she had - it was one sided, and caused her concern at some level. She understood - well enough - personal challenges, yet she approached Aqua-chan all the same. Yshania remained slightly confused, sure that this wonderous creature, even individual skills apart, as a druid should have some level of healing spells. She wondered at her reluctance, but knelt beside her anyhow. This woman had fought beside them, and Yshania could not deny her attention. But she concerned herself with the shadows that played in the other female's expression, as she haltingly began to work....

[Aqua-chan]

Despite not wanting to waste her time on trying to cast spell after spell and drink potion after potion, Aqua-chan finally realized that there would be no other way to survive. As annoying as it was, healing spells were a necessity for the woman at this time.

Yshania began throwing off healing spells suprisingly fast. Aqua-chan figured that she must have had the incarnation memerized by heart to mutter the magical words so quickly, though her eyes showed signs of...just, being out of it. Like she was in deep thought of something that just could not wait. As the hybrid pondered this, she didn't realize that her wounds had been healed.

"Thank you," she blankly muttered, all signs of the fierce urge to return to battle hidden.

"What I can't understand is why you don't have any of these memorized. Don't you even know minor healing spells?"

Aqua-chan began to get up, making sure to give Vivien a quick look of appreciation. "I'm not a good healer. More of an offensive-magic weilder."

"I see. I suppose it makes sense, seeing as you are a fighter as well-"

It was then the body of the fallen drow fighter that had given Aqua-chan her wounds fell between the cat woman and Yshania. His eyes were still open and blood trickled from his mouth lightly. When they looked up, Nippy stood proudly with a look of victory. He seemed to be happy with just banishing the faces of his evil foes one at a time. Soon, some of the lost Dark Flames returned: Thantor, Gwally and Dragon Wench (though, like Yshania, each had a blank look that gave the impression that something serious was on thier minds). Gwally started to jog up, ready to fight.

"You ladies care to rejoin our little party?" He asked, then his eyes went directly to Aqua-chan, "C'mon, kitty. I know you got more spunk in ya than this!" And with that, he darted off and was gone.

Aqua-chan turned to Yshania and Vivien. "Why is it that --even in the midst of battle-- he can't find anything better to do than pick on me?"

"Don't worry yourself over it," Yshania started to stand, "You'll get used to it in time. He picks on everybody -- it only means he likes you."

"...I...I think I can see that about to change soon. I'm sorry, I need to return to Thantor."