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Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2003 8:44 pm
by Kayless
Originally posted by RandomThug
The nation of Randomthugonia has been supplying the Rogue Nation Kayland with arms for some time now. It is only a matter of time before Gwaltopia is annexed and the holy land of Ummah is destroyed. Those who will ally with either will reach a very simular fate.
Indeed! The time of reckoning has come!
Originally posted by Gwalchmai
The good people of Gwaltopia will call upon the spirits of their ancestors, who will rise up to defend our peaceful island from all invaders! The Ghost Way and Lazy Bear ceremonies have already taken place! No violence on our shores will be tolerated, lest you find yourselves mere dung beetles in the great Bear Poop Pile of Eternity!
Your bogs and ghost bears will not stand in the way of our armies! Our righteous Crusade against the hippy nations of this world will not be stopped!
Originally posted by Weasel
Leaning towards option #2..kill the long-haired idiots. 
Yes! A fellow hippy hater! I'm sure Kayland can count on the support of The Republic of The Tyrant Weasel when it's annexes Gwaltopia.
Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2003 9:28 pm
by Kayless
Issue #1
Workers across the nation have gone out on indefinite strike over what they claim are substandard wages in the Beef-Based Agriculture industry.
The Debate
"We are the backbone of this country, and we demand a fair wage rise!" says union leader Jennifer Hanover. "I don't think a 20% increase over two years is too much to ask. Unless the government forces employers to give us our due, we'll shut this whole industry down! Let's see how well Kayland's economy manages without any Beef-Based Agriculture, huh?
"We pay our employees very generous wages," says employer representative Hack Dodinas. "Especially when you consider that without us, they'd be OUT ON THE STREET. Hear that, you scumbags? OUT ON THE STREET! Anyway, my point is, if you cave in, you make our entire industry uncompetitive. You can't do that in the global marketplace. It'll hurt the whole country. The best solution, economically speaking, would be to relax industrial laws and allow us to fire troublemakers on the spot."
The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 1 (Beef... It's what's for dinner!).
Issue #2
A loose coalition of sartorially-challenged individuals known as "Let It All Hang Out" has called on the government to relax public nudity laws.
The Debate
"For too long, our bodies have been trapped in these prisons of cotton and polyester!" yelled protester Zeke McAlpin, while apparently developing a nasty case of sunburn. "We must repeal the puritanical laws that make public nudity a crime. My body--my choice to dangle!
"I agree," mused sociology professor Calvin King. "But I don't think the protestors are going far enough. Public nudity shouldn't be an option: it should be compulsory. Nudity is highly liberating. And it would put that disgusting "Hooters" out of business once and for all."
"Whoa, whoa," says noted accountant Max Fellow. "Are these people serious? The last thing I want to see when I'm out for a coffee is some lumbering, over-weight nudist coming down the sidewalk toward me. If people want to get naked, they can do it in the privacy of their own homes. Think of the children!"
The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 3 (Put your fricking clothes back on you freaks!).
Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2003 9:32 pm
by fable
"For too long, our bodies have been trapped in these prisons of cotton and polyester!" yelled protester Zeke McAlpin, while apparently developing a nasty case of sunburn. "We must repeal the puritanical laws that make public nudity a crime. My body--my choice to dangle!
Well, the polyester point is a given. I strongly suggest you support him, and burn manmade fabrics in your town square.
Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2003 9:46 pm
by Scayde
Update:
The Free Republic of Bloodonya
"The weak shall not enslave the strong"
UN Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights: Very Good
Economy: Thriving
Political Freedoms: Excellent
Location: SYM
The Free Republic of Bloodonya is a tiny, devout nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, intelligent population of 6 million are either ruled by a small, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.
There is no government in the normal sense the word; however, a small group of community-minded, pro-business individuals juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Religion & Spirituality, and Commerce. Income tax is unheard of.
A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Uranium Mining, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Pizza Delivery industries.
The alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit. Crime is a major problem. Bloodonya's national animal is the wolverine, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its currency is the kroog.
Current Crisis
Bloodonya Decides:
Appointment of Spiritual Advisor
The Issue
It's time for the government to hire a new religious advisor. Your people have narrowed down the candidates to:
The Debate
#1Catholic Archbishop Clint Winters: boasts an excellent track record, having rapidly increased church attendances in his constituencies through the "Reaching God Through Guilt" program. Seen as a solid choice.
[Accept]
#2New Age thinker Pip Winters: a left-field candidate with some radical ideas. "For me, it's not about the name of your religion. It's about discovering your spirituality in whatever guise that takes. Some people call that a cult: I call it taking spirituality to the people."
[Accept]
#3Finally, there's Freddy O'Bannon. "If I am awarded the appointment, I will immediately resign," the ex-schoolteacher has declared. "Because, frankly, God is a big load of hokey. I'll be doing everyone a favor by just shutting up about it."
[Accept]
The Government Position
The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.
but is leaning toward #2
Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2003 9:48 pm
by Aegis
Why is it I'm not getting any crisis'... Is it because I'm so oppresive?
Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2003 9:52 pm
by Tybaltus
Welcome, my friends to Tropicalis
"Nature conservation today will grant life tomorrow"
UN Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights: Some
Economy: Fair
Political Freedoms: Excellent
The Empire of Tropicalis is a tiny, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its strong anti-business politics. Its hard-nosed, intelligent population of 5 million are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.
The enormous government is effectively ruled by the Department of Law & Order, with areas such as Social Welfare and Defence receiving almost no funds by comparison. The average income tax rate is 34%, but much higher for the wealthy. Private enterprise is illegal, but for those in the know there is a slick and highly efficient black market in Soda Sales.
Crime is moderate. Tropicalis's national animal is the macaw, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the parrotali.
Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2003 11:08 pm
by VoodooDali
The Rogue Nation of VoodooDaliania
"Set the bunnies free!"
UN Category: Scandinavian Liberal Paradise
Civil Rights: World Benchmark
Economy: Fragile Political Freedoms: Average
Location: the Pacific
The Rogue Nation of VoodooDaliania is a tiny, safe nation, notable for its strong anti-business politics. Its compassionate population of 5 million enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level social equality free of the usual accompanying government corruption.
The government -- a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal, socially-minded morass -- devotes most of its attentions to Social Welfare, with areas such as Law & Order and Defence receiving almost no funds by comparison. The average income tax rate is 46%, but much higher for the wealthy. Private enterprise is illegal, but for those in the know there is a slick and highly efficient black market in Door-to-door Insurance Sales.
Crime is well under control. VoodooDaliania's national animal is the lemur, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the voo.
Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2003 11:11 pm
by VoodooDali
HELP! THEY SET THE CHICKENS FREE!
The Issue
The increasingly militant Animal Liberation Front struck again last night, freeing dozens of chickens bound for delicious snack packs.
The Debate
"These nuts have got to be stopped," demands concerned consumer Beth Fellow. "They need to face the fact people want snack packs, no matter how many innocent chickens must be sacrificed. Besides, chickens would do the same to us if they had the chance."
[Accept]
"These Liberationists are highlighting an important issue," pleads Fleur Broadside. "Too often, animals are put through needless cruelty, just to make their flesh taste a little more deliciously succulent. I'm sure we could ban the more horrific abuses without putting too much of a dent in our national obesity figures. Couldn't we?"
[Accept]
"Animals have feelings too!" yelled protestor Billy Trax, before being set upon by hungry passers-by. "Free the animals! Ban meat-eating!"
[Accept]
Economist Peggy Winters has an alternative. "You don't need to take away the people's right to choose. You just need to build the costs of animal suffering into the price. A tax on meat-eating, in proportion to the amount of cruelty involved, would do the trick. Plus think of the benefit for the national coffers! Of course, poor people wouldn't be able to afford meat, but that's just more incentive for them to get jobs."
[Accept]
The Government Position
The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.
If you wish, you may simply dismiss this issue.
Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2003 11:13 pm
by Tybaltus
Originally posted by VoodooDali
Location: the Pacific
Be sure to move over to the region of SYM over there, so that you can be in the same region as the rest of us.
Or you can keep your sanity, if you so desire. *sulks*
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2003 1:12 am
by Tamerlane
The Dominion of Tamerlane
"All hail, Tamerlane our saviour!"
UN Category: Right-wing Utopia
Civil Rights: Few Economy: Powerhouse Political Freedoms: Some
Location: SYM
The Dominion of Tamerlane is a tiny, economically powerful nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 5 million are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.
The tiny, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Commerce, and Defence. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1%. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Gambling, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving industries.
Crime is a problem. Tamerlane's national animal is the falcon and its currency is the tammy.
Got caught out by the naming of a currency
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2003 1:18 am
by Dottie
Who is the evil person with less clothes than me?
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2003 1:27 am
by Tybaltus
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2003 1:37 am
by Dottie
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2003 1:45 am
by Tamerlane
Originally posted by Tybaltus
And welcome to the region, Tam.
Why thank you, it was about time we got a right-wing utopian government into the mix to influence the masses with the mighty dollar, *ahem* I mean with the glorious Tammy
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2003 2:36 am
by Beldin
Somehow I get the feeling that Weasel created a monster by releasing this bunch on an unsuspecting world....
Currently there are 20 Nations in "SYM"...
So when will we stop bickering and start taking over the rest of the world ?
That way we'll have enough room for EVERYONE in SYM ...
..
No worries,
Beldin
PS: Has any of you joined the "UN" yet ?
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2003 2:57 am
by Tamerlane
Originally posted by Beldin
PS: Has any of you joined the "UN" yet ?
One step at a time dear fellow, you could go for it yourself. We do need someone from our region on the panel.
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2003 3:13 am
by Bloodstalker
I will NOT endorse Weasel as delegate
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2003 4:40 am
by Minerva
I've just seen the UN report on
The Nudest in SYM.
Today's United Nations Report
The following nations have the most liberal attitudes to public nudity.
1. The Free Land of Casio Tones
2. The Free Republic of Espania
3. The Rogue Nation of Centauringolimpya
4. The Empire of Lord Stalker
5. The Republic of Gwaltopia
6. The Free Land of Beldinia
7. The Free Republic of Bloodonya
8. The Republic of The Tyrant Weasel
9. The Dictatorship of Randomthugonia
10. The Rogue Nation of Kayland Moralistic Democracy
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2003 5:00 am
by Bloodstalker
I only rank 4?
Must consider legislation
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2003 5:16 am
by Kayless
Kayland is number 10 on the nudity list. Though I don't really think we should be on the list at all (we hate nudity).