The HBI - Heathen Bureau of Investigation

Fiona · Post by **Fiona** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 4:12 pm

Youth is impetuous,Luis. Patience is not one of the virtues of those who are denied tequila. They're not usually very well versed in jurisprudence.And he may be American

Phreddie · Post by **Phreddie** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 4:13 pm

[QUOTE=Luis Antonio]I advise you to wait till we have at least a lot of potential cases to be judged, or the mods will close both threads. Hehe.

But the idea is good, if we keep spam controled and make this a fine thread, exclusive, one of a kind.[/QUOTE]
fine but your case is first up unless you want to plea out? our next case could be punishing magrus (once he returns) for causing sucha fuss... then investigate chus secret ties to the fourth reich movement that is controlled by the smurfs...

Phreddie · Post by **Phreddie** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 4:14 pm

[QUOTE=Hill-Shatar]I will help foot this bill.

Anyways, Luis is under the legal protection of the New Historian Sect. The new one, not the old one, with Gwally and Minerva.

Genetic engineering? I will take a look...[/QUOTE]
hill i would be happy to indict you on anything so that you could plea down to community service with fiona, only commit a crime that is not too heinous..

ch85us2001 · Post by **ch85us2001** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 4:15 pm

[QUOTE=Phreddie]fine but your case is first up unless you want to plea out? our next case could be punishing magrus (once he returns) for causing sucha fuss... then investigate chus secret ties to the fourth reich movement that is controlled by the smurfs...

[/QUOTE]
Would that make me the chuhrer?

And I hate smurfs! And bananas!

Luis Antonio · Post by **Luis Antonio** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 4:16 pm

[QUOTE=Fiona]Youth is impetuous,Luis. Patience is not one of the virtues of those who are denied tequila. They're not usually very well versed in jurisprudence.And he may be American[/QUOTE]

He probabily is. That is no curse, but yes, makes people think its easier to sue someone. Ah, Fiona, dearest... do you bring forth any new clue on this maze trapped with pointed fingers?

@Phreddie: Yeah, rest assured, Magrus and the smurfs WILL be investigated. Nothing that blue or alcoholic (respectively) shall be left without a file on the HBI.

Phreddie · Post by **Phreddie** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 4:20 pm

now that the radioactive bananas have been closed up, i say we launch a probe into chus.... maybe the keebler elves instead, they been slow lately in gland collection, i tihnk they are preparing to rebel.. any leads?

Luis Antonio · Post by **Luis Antonio** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 4:22 pm

I was thinking about a three day investigation before continuing.

Phreddie · Post by **Phreddie** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 4:23 pm

i tihnk youve been found though... but i guess fas is still at large.

Fiona · Post by **Fiona** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 4:29 pm

We need to re-open this investigation

"Yeah, oooooookay... <backs away slowly for he may be accompanied by
rabbit monkeys armed with nuclear bananas>"

Ravager is involved it seems

Phreddie · Post by **Phreddie** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 4:35 pm

hmmm, i think he was merely buying from a local dealer that may or may not have been supplied by the fas/luis cartel. however this does warrant further investigation.

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 4:42 pm

[QUOTE=Phreddie] but i guess fas is still at large.[/QUOTE]

Don't encourage his delusions of grandeur

Phreddie · Post by **Phreddie** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 4:43 pm

hes probly lying in a ditch somewhere any way... or trying to find away to artificialy create febreeeze.

Hill-Shatar · Post by **Hill-Shatar** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 4:48 pm

[QUOTE=dragon wench]Don't encourage his delusions of grandeur

[/QUOTE]

Grandeous is more the right word. Les tres grande.

That is what we are trying to discourage.

Chanak · Post by **Chanak** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 4:54 pm

Spam Laundering

I believe it is time that I do not make an official statement for the COMM Intelligence Agency (CIA) - which actually does not exist - concerning the "Heathen Bureau of Investigation," which is in actuality a quasi-legimate front for spam laundering. FYI, spam laundering is a captial offense punishable by forced exposure of the duly convicted in a court of COMM to non-stop broadcasts of the unsurpassingly moronic children's icon Barney, until they are legally declared dead by a physician licensed to practice medicine under international waters.

The statement, if it were actually made, would read like this:

"Ahem. I personally have no earthly idea what all this hubub is really about. Apparently, an organization declaring itself as the "Heathen Bureau of Investigation" has established itself as a laughingly transparent, bazooka-joe legalesque front for the abhorrent criminal activity known as Spam Laundering. Be advised that the dossiers on the perpetrators of this front are thick and loaded with the sort of juicy goodies damaging to lives and reputations. The fine citizens of SYM may therefore rest easy, secure in the knowledge that their peacably insane lives in this Asylum are watched over by individuals even more depraved than the perpetrators of this nefarious scheme. Naturally, the skinny on these crooks will be used to blackmail the bejeezus out of them into silent, sullen submission.

I would like to add that this statement was not actually made and is officially denied, since the COMM Intelligence Agency does not actually exist. There's no way of proving that, anyway. Thank you."

Luis Antonio · Post by **Luis Antonio** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 4:55 pm

I have found new evidence:

WR stands for Winter Rose, which is the name of a post-nuclear reference to radioactive bananas that was to be introduced in fallout. Yes this is truth. No, dont ask. So I guess we could make Fas file, before we get overwhelmed with... spam.

Hill-Shatar · Post by **Hill-Shatar** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 4:59 pm

@ Chanak: That was marvelous.

Perfect.

COMM lives. Well, not really, it more along the lines of festers...

Luis Antonio · Post by **Luis Antonio** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 5:00 pm

[QUOTE=Hill-Shatar]@ Chanak: That was marvelous.

Perfect.

[/QUOTE]

Translation: Chanak, I envy you for your spam, and I wish I could see Commies here helping me again.

@Chanak: Truth be told, I envy your lines too

Hill-Shatar · Post by **Hill-Shatar** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 5:04 pm

Translation: Chanak, I envy you for your spam, and I wish I could see Commies here helping me again.

Bah! Since when was I a commie and when did I get help from them...

@Chanak: Truth be told, I envy your lines too

I think you envy everyones lines. Then again Chanak is special. DW has her eye on him... I dont know whether to think poor guy, or wow, hes lucky!

Fiona · Post by **Fiona** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 5:05 pm

Careful people, he's got form

The Chanak Affair was also an important short-term trigger cause in the downfall of the Prime Minister, David Lloyd George.

*plans to steal the non-existent dossiers

Hill-Shatar · Post by **Hill-Shatar** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 5:07 pm

Please, a detailed account of the Chanak affair is not required. Lets not go into an ingross definition of his namesake.

By the way, C Elegans is named after a very special worm.