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These are excellent. Well done. I wish memo's to my office would dissapear. And can you iamgine getting into a bar-room brawl and one of your mates thinks, instead of pounding his fist into the nearest antogonist, chirping an up-beat tune will be more benefical! ROFL!

Oh yeah! And the special abilities of those pets and birthday prezzies:

Dog of Cr*pping - this mysterious figurine produces unheard-of amounts of poop on other peoples lawns.

Unfixed Tabby Cat familiar - 100% "hump neighbours cats" ability

Blue shirt of itchiness - ?!

Socks of unsexiness - ?!

Underpants of bird-pulling - Oh yes! 100% success!

[This message has been edited by Gruntboy (edited 02-02-2001).]

Thanks for the compliment and inspiration, Gruntboy - I invite you to post in the new topic "Magic Items for Daily Life" ..

Everytime your playing sports, and the teams are unbalanced, you mutter something about nature finding a balance

It's really foggy out, and you think the world was taken over by greater air elementals

A purple light shines gets shined on a wall, and you immediatly search for a secret passage

You find a rock, thinking it is illitihum, then begin searching for a mace so you can make the Mace of Disruption +2

You begin talking to your kitchen utensils thinking they are infused with people like Lilacor

Thats all for now!

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When is a Raven like a Writing desk?

you constantly reaffirm your girlfriend that you will find a way to get her wings back.

When you reach that climactic moment with your wife, you shout "I didn't know it could be like this, Viconia".

You turn down Brittany Spears when she asks you for a date, saying "Jaheira wouldn't understand".

You look in flower pots hoping to find scrolls and gems.

You buy blue glasses, thinking they'll help you "see things as they truly are"

Every time you see a circus tent, you go in looking for chicks disguised as brutes, and tell any spider you find about their son waiting outside.

You leave stuff on the table in bar... pardon, taverns, since leaving stuff on the floor will result in them dissappearing after 24 hours.

You fearlessly mishandle chemicals in the lab, declaring that you have resistances against fire and acid.

You start keeping bottles in stacks of 5.

You look over everyone you meet, looking for harper pins.

You stay out in the rain, hoping that nature will present you with a cloak.

You use 20 mithril coins to purchase that new pair of running shoes.

You go to the police station, declaring that you wish to apply for entry into the Order of the Sacred Heart.

You search the docks for fat merchants who sell lockets, secret entrances to thief guilds, and harper bases.

You enter the sewers, expecting to find a beholder lair.

(actual occurrence)

You're reading a Sleeping Beauty storybook to your 3-year-old daughter, and at the point where the good fairies give the prince the Shield of Virtue and the Sword of Truth, you think to yourself, "I wonder what the AC and thac0 bonuses are on those."

...you're sitting at your desk and begin assigning alignments to your co-workers in order to determine which of them you can kill without losing your Paladin status...

Few of 'em here from personal experiences:
1) when your driving down the road and you want to "quick save" before going anywhere just in case you get into an accident.
2) when you're surfing the web and hit the space bar to try to pause the site from loading.
3) you wake up from your dream, swearing that you have just been attacked by a monster, and your BG2 party didn't try to save you.

[This message has been edited by Alexia (edited 02-09-2001).]

Dammit! I double posted!

[This message has been edited by Alexia (edited 02-09-2001).]

A bunch of big rowdy louts are making pests of themselves in your favourite bar, so you retire to just out of their sight and start fumbling for a Cloudkill wand.

You're scared to go to sleep, because you reckon you're due for an "Irenicus nightmare"

An inane nitwit engages you in conversation, and you keep it going instead of telling him to p*ss off, in the hope you'll eventually get some XP and goodies.

You give your girlfriend a Pearl neckless and she doesnt reach for the towel.
At a rave you ask the dodgy geezer by the toilets for Black lotus.
You explain to your girlfriend that "you had to,in order to rescue them from a life of slavery".
You try to turn off your girlfriends AI at bedtime.


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I am....Kane

You give your girlfriend a Pearl neckless and she doesnt reach for the towel.
At a rave you aproach the dodgy geezer by the toilets and ask for Black lotus.
You try to turn off your girlfriends AI at bedtime.


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I am....Kane

Well i would like to say that i had a GREAT TIME reading this post and it is the best post for some laghing . So i would like to give some :

- You are in a hurry to go to the bathroom and before you do the dirty thing you cast a datect invisibility spell just in case there is a assassin in your house and is hided in the shawdows .

-You get angered by a guy on a bar and you kick his ass hard and then you cast Friends spell so that he doesn`t suit you when the police comes.

-You are walking alone in the dark and you keep saying were Minsk goes Evil stands aside!

-You are discussing with your friends and they start to insulting each other and you start shouting Shut Up ! But they dont lesen to you then you cast Silence 15th radius so everyone stays cool.

-One of your friends have a desease and you say that you have the solution and you start spelling "BITTA MORTIS KAYA !"

-You are walking in the street and a ugly girl starts calling you names because she is with her boyfriend and you shout a war cry "Nature take the life she gave!"

-You are walking back from school and you are really ungry, a bulldog starts to runing after you, you cast time stop then you polymorfh yourself into a Humber Hulk and have a nice meal.

Ok i think i said too much so till next time!!!

Ok, I might as well take a stab at this:

- When you are at a diner, you look at your self to see if you are proficient in chopsticks. And when you realised you are more proficient in two weapon style, you eat the meal with a knife in the main hand and a fork the off-hand.

- In a pub talking to the girls and you always pause for a moment, scanning on the possible lines to use for the romance.

- While travelling, you always look for the "?" hoping the description will appear next to it.

- When I left my keys inside my house, I will either try to pick the lock, and if that doesn't work I will try to bash it open.

- Stopping at a red light now is like waiting for the next scene to load up. While you are waiting, you be checking the car in front of you for any tips/hints for the day.

*when playing any other comp game, pressing the space button when attacked =](this happens to me each time i try othre games)

*at the bus stop the blonde chick asks u if u have a lighter. u know u donot smoke but u wanna be polite so u start waving your hands and uttering some spell words to cast arraganzar's scorcher.
when u come back to ur senses u see that there is a bus going away from the bus stop and the hot chick is gone =]

* you get on the next bus and ur mad. ur chaotic evil personality tells u to cast entangle in the whole bus. u check if u have ur pencil+2 spider's bane in ur backpack then start uttering the spell words again.
nothing happens and ppl look at u with a strange face. they demand explanation. all u can say is:

"Damn that worker from Bellsouth! he surely cast miscast magic on me when he was fixin the phone and i said hurry i have class!!"

ppl just go back to reading their books/listenign to their cdmans

=]

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~Goddess Of Forests and all Rangers~

[This message has been edited by Mielikki (edited 03-21-2001).]

-press tab in windows

-your girlfriend begins complaining you are having affair with a blue skinned dark elf.(or elf or a harper)

-advise your friend to retire if his girlfriend/wife complains he always not at home.

-go to the chemist trying to buy potions of intelligence or mind focusing before going to exams.

-give some money to the church and expect discount in the shops.

-post anything in the post

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Mizuno, known in the Realms as Gabriel, is a Proud Member of the Brotherhood of the Woods

Right before a race, u cast time stop, then wproceed to cast entangle, fisrt running off halfway down the track so that "it doesn't affect u"; after "winning" the race, you brag about how easy "soloing" is.

U sit around outside at 5am waiting for the "sunrise" video to appear

If it's dark outside, and you are not at home, you
a) run away from your city
b) keep looking for the rest button; if a cop tries to talk to you, before he can say anything, you blurt out: NO! I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE D*MN INN!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! GIVE ME MY 8 HOURS OF REST!!!
c) (if still at the early stages of the game): start forging a licence to practice magic in your locality

Your girlfriend is a former slave (from where?) who works in the circus and has delusions of flying

You have abandoned every human activitry except eating; the only food you'll eat is two drumsticks arranged on a plate; you keep looking for ale and trying to pay with GP.

[Actually happening to me right now]: U regularly visit the forum and get all the jokes on this post even though u haven't played the game since january.

You start guessing alignments of ever-one you know.

Hitler:- Lawful-Evil
My brother:- Chaotic Neutral

who would you consider lawful good or chaotic evil here?