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See, there's these lawn gnomes, taking naughty pictures of bacon. It's horrible. They put up poster's all over the neighborhood and then just stand there in your yard like statues...staring. It's creepy I tell you. Creeeeeepy!

There's nothing creepy about that. I do it all the time

I really can't be arsed to read back and find out how de hell the topic moved onto bacon and gnomes.

Although you have given me a lust for bacon now. You arse
Hungry......

BACON!

I just took one of those little online quiz thing's, about who I know would show up at my funeral and what the reactions would be and stuff. Since the list was of those with access to my online journal, and all of them are my ex's, it was kind of funny. Sarah got to be the necro on two different quiz's.

ewww Bacon nasty

full of fat, grease, and nastiness. Basically describes the typical American

Hmm, I've never had bacon in my life. Kinda like alchohal. Against my religon to have it, so I guess i'll never know how it tastes. Maybe I don't wanna know?

I think the regional co-ordinator of Alcoholics Anonymous would be the only one to show up to my funeral - and some of my old flames to say farewell to an invaluable but exhausted commodity to the female species.

Anyway, I've barely been here but now I'm off. I've been on a 3 night binge drinking session, and I'm finally sobering up - unfortunately my body is clapped out as I return to painful reality, so i must retire and sleep my arse off.

[QUOTE=Ideal Maxima]
full of fat, grease, and nastiness. Basically describes the typical American
[/QUOTE]

Ooo treading a thin line there matey

Shush Maxi or we'll be forced to hit with you my empties.

Reality is harsh after you've been un-sober for more than a day or two straight. I know, going back to sober is as strange as it was when you first got drunk huh?

"Can't knock it till you've tried it" my muslim friend. I cannot tell you how many girls I've corrupted and how much fun I've had with that one.

[QUOTE=Magrus]Shush Maxi or we'll be forced to hit with you my empties. [/QUOTE]

Ah, shooting blanks now, are we, Mag?

*nods* Saves on party hats and pills for the ladies.

[QUOTE=Magrus]*nods* Saves on party hats and pills for the ladies. [/QUOTE]

Interesting way to look at it, man! How's the quest for the Lawn Gnome's Bacon going?

Can't find 'em. I still had my burger though, bacon or not. I think they're playing baseball in the next town over, they did that like 4-5 years ago around here.

But seriously...they did. Showed up on Conan or one of those shows if I'm not wrong too. Definately the local paper at least. A bunch of kids raided lawn gnomes from yards, set them up at a local baseball field in "interesting positions" and then wrote "Free the Lawn Gnomes" in the field.

[QUOTE=Magrus]Can't find 'em. I still had my burger though, bacon or not. I think they're playing baseball in the next town over, they did that like 4-5 years ago around here.

But seriously...they did. Showed up on Conan or one of those shows if I'm not wrong too. Definately the local paper at least. A bunch of kids raided lawn gnomes from yards, set them up at a local baseball field in "interesting positions" and then wrote "Free the Lawn Gnomes" in the field. [/QUOTE]

LMAO!!! That's BRILLIANT! *jots idea down in notepad*

Lawn ornaments have a right to love too, you know!

Oh, so true.

That occured in the same town I just went to for that festival actually. My friend brought the paper into school one day and said "OMG! Michelle told me she and some friends were going to do it last weekend and they did! LOOK!" and showed me the article. I burst out laughing and just couldn't stop.

[QUOTE=Magrus]Oh, so true.

That occured in the same town I just went to for that festival actually. My friend brought the paper into school one day and said "OMG! Michelle told me she and some friends were going to do it last weekend and they did! LOOK!" and showed me the article. I burst out laughing and just couldn't stop. [/QUOTE]

Well, my hat's off to your friend's friends! That's one of the most original things I've ever heard of! Makes me wonder if you'd really want to re-claim your lawn gnomes after that...

Ha, I would, just for the sheer humor value whenever you were in your yard.

Unfortunately I think the cops confiscated them to prevent it from happening again. I believe a little league team found them the next morning, little lawn gnomes all over each other in various places in the field.

One of the group got motivated and did a pose involving 5 different gnomes all entangled.

[QUOTE=Magrus]Unfortunately I think the cops confiscated them to prevent it from happening again. I believe a little league team found them the next morning, little lawn gnomes all over each other in various places in the field. [/QUOTE]

Interesting way to get educated - "Mommy, what are those lawn gnomes doing??"

"Bumping uglies! I mean, don't look johnny! "

hmm, I sitll won't drink

[QUOTE=Magrus]"Bumping uglies! I mean, don't look johnny! "[/QUOTE]

"Well, johnny...*breaks into song*
'WHEN A GNOOOME, LOVES A GNOOOME...' "