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Flying Cows... We are not alone!
Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2001 5:33 pm
by Weasel
The Cow conspiracy:
A friend of mine and I were driving down to a role players convention when we noticed that the same herd of cows had been following us. They would pretend to be grazing, but we knew all too well that they were in fact discussing secret plans to take over the world. When they realized that we were on to them, they started attacking our car...we noticed that the bugs hitting the windshield were quite large and smelled funny, and every once in a while we'd hear a moo.
The Cows are planning to take over any time now. My friend and I have started a cult to appease them so they do not cause us anymore harm, but one day when they make their move, we will strike back! Then the whole world will feast on steaks while wearing all leather!
Have you people seen this report!! Something must be done to protect the human race from this sadist cows with wings.....It is in the interests of all human kind.
I call on all loyal and trusting posters to step up and find this flying cows. I believe Alienbob is behind some of this...If you remember his Flying Triangle runs on cows.
Don't be the last one to join!!!
This has been a public broadcast.
sponsored by AUFT....We're there when you need us.
Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2001 5:38 pm
by Waverly
"you will pay for this, earth vermin..."
"That's him officer. That's that horrible Weasel person that tried to 'milk' me"
[This message has been edited by Waverly (edited 03-12-2001).]
Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2001 9:18 pm
by Alexia
@Weasel. Have I ever told you that I love you?
And here I am thinking that this conspiracy would never be believed. Spread the word, people. The cows are dangerous.
~Alexia
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Proof? We don't need no stinkin' proof!
Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2001 10:21 pm
by Aegis
*Chuck-chunk* (Sound of Anti-cow shotgun being ****ed)
Don't worry, we'll take those cows down using sophisti-ma-cated surface to cow weapons. Count on it raining well down steaks and other beef products in the near future. It's time for APOCOLYPSE COW!
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All for one, and one for all!
Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2001 10:45 pm
by Weasel
Up Date...from bunker in the hills of Alabama....star date 3.12.01
Major movement of cow byproducts spur a rash of unexplained missing people. FBI and ATF reports have this as no connected to the cow incidents in upper state Utah.
I have found out that this is not the whole truth. An informant in the FBI has verified that the hoof prints match some of the ones taken in Utah.
Why is the government trying to hide this??
More to come...
AUFT
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Greetings from The Weasel!
The Lord Weasel!
The Warrior of the Light Spamland!
The Ayatollah of Spamolla!
Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2001 11:19 pm
by Brink
There are no reported sightings of UFOs and other weird occurences like flying cows
here
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The Unforgiven One
Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2001 11:54 pm
by Xandax
I still think this is a communist cover-up for their plans to take over the galaxy
(replace communist with government, if you are of dubious political conviction
)
Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2001 12:36 am
by Flagg
INCOMING REPORT FROM INTERPOL
It is suspected that a large group of flying cows have made the trip from the United States to mainland Europe.
Unconfirmed sources tell that the cows have already been sighted in the Netherlands, Greece, and Denmark. Goverments of the three nations are currently waiting with an official press statement, until a meeting with representatives of all three nations have taken place.
Side note: Is it a coincidence that the cows have been sighted on the day that Clinton is in the Netherlands??
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Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2001 12:58 am
by Xandax
Clinton again??????? - Does this guy ever stop
Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2001 3:20 am
by BlackSheep
Exlusive reaport:
"The Foul Goat's are joining the cows"
consder your self warrned
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Baaaaaaad luck!!!
Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2001 4:39 am
by Xandax
I must say - that actually deep down - I'm not worried by conspiracies by thing I use for food - it would be much much worse if for instance broccoli started plotting against us
Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2001 4:50 am
by Ubik
Europe reports: Cows on wings team up with brokoli!
It is a sad day for this world, as it has been known by reliable sources that the ongoing cows-with-wings conspiracy, has added another ally in their cause.
The Brokoli have signed a secret pact with the cows, stating that they are ready to get rid of the human kind once and for all.
Plus, they both are uniting their powers against sheep and goats, who are presently fighting at the side of humanity.
Goverment denies knowledge...
They live!
Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2001 4:52 am
by Alison Entreri
You people are cheap. Picking on poor innocent bovines.
Shame on you
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The Present is an Illusion, The Future is a Dream and The Past is a Lie!
Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2001 4:53 am
by BlackSheep
Edit it and take out the goats they are with the cows!!!
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Baaaaaaad luck!!!
Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2001 5:10 am
by Xandax
Originally posted by Alison Entreri:
You people are cheap. Picking on poor innocent bovines.
Shame on you
it is picking on the innocent that are fun - who wants to pick on something you know is guilty
Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2001 5:15 am
by Ubik
Originally posted by Xandax:
it is picking on the innocent that are fun - who wants to pick on something you know is guilty
Xandax, I think you should make a wonderfull capitalist
As for the money problem...
Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2001 5:51 am
by Flagg
MAYDAY....MAYDAY....MAYDAY.....MAYDAY
Flying cows are closing on our position. We need reinforcements immediately.
Please do sent the reinf.................
[This message has been edited by Flagg (edited 03-13-2001).]
Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2001 6:20 am
by Xandax
Originally posted by Ubik:
Xandax, I think you should make a wonderfull capitalist As for the money problem...
Thanx
- it is the nicest thing somebody has told me for some time
Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2001 6:23 am
by BlackSheep
Originally posted by Flagg:
MAYDAY....MAYDAY....MAYDAY.....MAYDAY
Flying cows are closing on our position. We need reinforcements immediately.
Please do sent the reinf.................
[This message has been edited by Flagg (edited 03-13-2001).]
good I hope that's Flagg's last words
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Baaaaaaad luck!!!
Bannedsheep
Badsheep
any more names???