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Deep within the keep of Waverly’s fortress, jagged shadows dance as the torches cast dim light upon the rough hewn stones. The stench of death and decay is stifling, the sight of dismembered corpses enough to turn the stomach of lesser men inside out with nausea. Amid the body parts, some recognizably human, others of whose origin could only be out of the darkest nightmare, the Royal Necromancer stands consulting an ancient grimoire bound in an disconcerting scaly hide.

Briskly, an imposing figure clad in lightweight black armor strides in. His black hair sets of his fair features, his amber eyes that blaze with arcane power. The Necromancer recognizes him immediately and greets him with a mixture of friendly courtesy and fear.

Necromancer: Lord Waverly! I did not expect you so soon, but I have been working diligently and have finished ahead of schedule.
Waverly: [spies a comely maid among the fresher corpses] Diligently. I am sure. But you are finished, yes? It is for your skills that I keep you around despite your… peculiar interests. Please don’t disappoint.
N: The essences you delivered were damaged, I had to make do.
W: They aren’t damaged, just sub par. A function of the beings they belonged to.
N: Aha! That makes sense. In that case, allow me introduce you to your evil doppelgangers. [He pulls the cover off the nearest laboratory table. Underneath is a squat, pallid, and bulbous being; nearly human in countenance.] This is Doppelganger Nipsy.
Doppelganger Nipsy: I can go potty all by myself! [and with a *clunk* to the head by the Necromancer he is put back to sleep]
N: See, a bit damaged.
W: No, that is about right. Good work. What have we here? [uncovers a gaunt, greenish, gnomelike creature]
Doppelganger Macaroni: Tee hee hee. I’m special!
W: I see… [*clunk*]
N: Now please don’t be angry, I ran out of simian brains and had to make do on this last one. I used an eggplant, but he seems to have turned out no worse than the others. [This time a spindly, spiderlike creature with huge compound eyes greats Waverly]
Doppelganger der Munch: I like boys! [and yet another *clunk*]
W: You have outdone yourself. I am most pleased. We shall release these doppelgangers into SYM to cause general mayhem. [much evil laughter follows]

End of scene…

ROFLMAO (Sorry, Nip, Monk, and Mar, but I had to laugh!)

As shadows lengthen, and Waverly leaves to begin his royal happy hour, the unsuspecting SYMers remain blissfully unaware of the horror that has been unleashed upon them. Resigned, accustomed even, to the fact that they must interact with the grotesque originals, the mischief that is the evil doppelgangers is quite beyond their understanding.

As Gwalch stands, laughing his arse off, as he put it, the horrors come tearing out of the castles gate and assault him. Two of the little buggers begin tugging on his pants as the third begins smacking its misshapen lips and making unearthly sucking noises. It is only through the intervention of Waverly and a carefully swung torch that Gwalch is able to escape what surely would have been an embarrassing moment. As the horrors shamble off, Waverly remembers his happy hour plans.

Sorry Gwalch, you shouldn’t linger outside my evil residence, care for a beer?

[ 01-18-2002: Message edited by: Waverly ]

*Gwally shakes his head and wonders why that incident didn't horrify him as much as it should have. He shakes his head and replaces those disturbing thoughts with happier thoughts of Winged Hooter Girls.*

A beer? Sure!

That truly *was* a delight. @Waverly, you've outdone yourself, this time. But who is the Necromancer? And what dark banners have yet to mock the light of day outside your demesne?

Find out next time on KWAV... KWAVerly... all WAVerly all the time...

With a 'flash' of darkness, Sailor Saturn, the Goddess of Death and Rebirth, appears in front of the Necromancer. The Necromancer looks at the beautiful young woman standing before him. "Wh-who are you?" he asks. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"I am the Goddess of Death and Rebirth," replies Sailor Saturn. "Do you have a Necromancy License?"

"N-no, Megami-sama, I do not," replies the Necromancer.

Sailor Saturn responds with a fierce glare, "You dare perform your necromantic acts without a license!? You will be punished for this."

After effectively, and painfully, using her glaive to change the Necromancer from male to female, Sailor Saturn spins her glaive and vanishes from the place in a 'flash' of darkness, thinking to herself, That Waverly should know better than to hire a necromancer who doesn't have a license.

After Sailor Saturn disappears, the Necromancer finds a business card on the floor with the address to go to in order to get oneself a license and decides she should go there as soon as possible.

[ 01-18-2002: Message edited by: Sailor Saturn ]

She knows how to whip that glaive...

hmmmmm so THAT'S what you wanted Grunt's ear for

lol

Don't mind me m'lord Waverly, I'm just quietly gathering an army of Rangers, Paladins and other good aligned fighters, clerics and mages to lead a holy way against the forces of darkness.

Originally posted by Knight Errant:
<STRONG>lol

Don't mind me m'lord Waverly, I'm just quietly gathering an army of Rangers, Paladins and other good aligned fighters, clerics and mages to lead a holy way against the forces of darkness.</STRONG>

Do you know the forces of darkness?


I will tell a tale of a Paladin. One who fought the darkness once, but to my shame failed. I retreated back and gained strength from the one light...to one day step forward again and battle the evil.

It was me..the Most Holy of the Holy Cavaliers.

Seeing the evil would consume the land if I failed again...I raised an army..an army of light, one to finish the battle once and for all.

So I ask again....Do you know the forces of darkness?

Originally posted by Weasel:
<STRONG>So I ask again....Do you know the forces of darkness?</STRONG>

Yes oh Weasely One, i do, it is known as Cabbage!

Either that or the great Spamdangle of the Barley Mo, but i am still undecided

I am wondering why my long dead alter ego's name appears in Weasel’s sig.

I am wondering why my Royal Astrologer has attacked my Royal Necromancer.

I am wondering why Weasel is too cowardly to face me.

SS: you could have at least made my necromancer into an attractive woman. But nooo, you had to make her look like Ubika. I hope I am not forced to break out the Paddle of Bare Bottomed Spanking +3, it has not seen action in some time.

Weasel: have you at last determined a contest that you will have the courage challenge me in? If you do not do the noble thing soon, you and your cause will be utterly destroyed. Good that prances around and hides at the sight of evil is no Good at all.

[ 01-18-2002: Message edited by: Waverly ]

Originally posted by Waverly:
<STRONG>SS: you could have at least made my necromancer into an attractive woman. But nooo, you had to make her look like Ubika. I hope I am not forced to break out the Paddle of Bare Bottomed Spanking +3, it has not seen action in some time.</STRONG>

Well, if you really think that using the Paddle of Bare Bottomed Spanking +3 on your necromancer will make her look prettier, go for it. However, considering that I was having to punish the necromancer, turning her into an attractive woman would've negated the effect to some extent.

Originally posted by Waverly:
<STRONG>
Weasel: have you at last determined a contest that you will have the courage challenge me in? If you do not do the noble thing soon, you and your cause will be utterly destroyed. Good that prances around and hides at the sight of evil is no Good at all.
</STRONG>

I leave the details to you..


Time:???
Weapon:???

Weasel: As soon as you can work up the courage, my fallen paladin. Let’s see, what would be a fair contest…

¼ road race
natural science trivia
lowest post count

any of these equitable?

SS: even if a spanking could improve looks, my arm would fall off before I made a noticeable improvement on Ubika.

Originally posted by Waverly:
<STRONG>SS: even if a spanking could improve looks, my arm would fall off before I made a noticeable improvement on Ubika.</STRONG>

Is that a fact... let's test that theory

Originally posted by Waverly:
<STRONG>

¼ road race
</STRONG>

If only the distance wasn't so far.. I have a little extra added to the IROC now.

Originally posted by Waverly:
<STRONG>
natural science trivia
</STRONG>

Would unnatural science be covered in this?

Originally posted by Waverly:
<STRONG>
lowest post count

</STRONG>

LMFAO In other words...fall on my sword.

Time runs.....


How about a third post the test?

A greusome fish-slapping fight to the bloody demise...

It pains me, but I must forward this PM to you all:

originally posted by Weasel:
Please, Waverly, I can’t bear to face you again. Let me off the hook. Let me save face in front of my COMM supporters. I bow before your evil superiority. I grovel at your Machiavellian boots.
Ever your humble servant,
Weasel