Mr. Shade and the Golden Pantaloons
Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2001 11:49 pm
As anyone who has played Black Isle's excellent Throne of Bhaal expansion pack surely knows, the Golden Pantaloons from the original Baldur's Gate are quite possibly the most enigmatic magical item in all the Realms; with them, all the long hours spent stressing over a lack of firm buttocks or an unmasculine bulge are washed away in a deluge of compliments, double-takes, and eschewed glances. Many an opportunistic bard has sung epic tales of the fames and fortunes of those gifted with such fantastical attire.
The true origin of the Pantaloons is lost to time, but your average Baldur's Gate PC can acquire them just south of the great city to which the game owes its name, at the Friendly Arm Inn. Sadly, those not well educated in Pantaloon lore may not be at all aware of the treasure in their possession, and many either discard them foolishly or return them to the nobleman from which they found them (whose "noble" status is no doubt due to the eye-catching prominence granted by the Golden Pantaloons).
Those wise enough to steal away into the night with Pantaloons in hand will much later suffer a grave misdeed at the hands of one Mr. Shade, found at the Splurging Sturgeon Inn of Baldur's Gate. Like the erstwhile nobleman, Mr. Shade mistakes you for a famous tailor, Colorus Bleachus, and implies that you have something for him. Be careful not to bluff him in this, for you will soon realize that he is after none other than the magical trousers themselves! Once wise to your deception, Mr. Shade will attempt to make off with the Pantaloons, leaving you no other option than to slay him where he stands. A man may live to be a hundred, if he's lucky, but the Pantaloons saw the beginning of all; a lifetime of shapely buttocks is worth the small price of murder.
Does anyone else know of shadey conspirators like Mr. Shade, bent on your destruction for the sake of Pantaloons? Do share them. Fnord.
The true origin of the Pantaloons is lost to time, but your average Baldur's Gate PC can acquire them just south of the great city to which the game owes its name, at the Friendly Arm Inn. Sadly, those not well educated in Pantaloon lore may not be at all aware of the treasure in their possession, and many either discard them foolishly or return them to the nobleman from which they found them (whose "noble" status is no doubt due to the eye-catching prominence granted by the Golden Pantaloons).
Those wise enough to steal away into the night with Pantaloons in hand will much later suffer a grave misdeed at the hands of one Mr. Shade, found at the Splurging Sturgeon Inn of Baldur's Gate. Like the erstwhile nobleman, Mr. Shade mistakes you for a famous tailor, Colorus Bleachus, and implies that you have something for him. Be careful not to bluff him in this, for you will soon realize that he is after none other than the magical trousers themselves! Once wise to your deception, Mr. Shade will attempt to make off with the Pantaloons, leaving you no other option than to slay him where he stands. A man may live to be a hundred, if he's lucky, but the Pantaloons saw the beginning of all; a lifetime of shapely buttocks is worth the small price of murder.
Does anyone else know of shadey conspirators like Mr. Shade, bent on your destruction for the sake of Pantaloons? Do share them. Fnord.
