GameBanshee Forums

Over in the Something that made my day thread, some folks were talking in vague terms about being categorised by their dress and belonging to a clique or group at school.

I was wondering what sorts of self-images people around here had of themselves in high school/secondary school. It seems to me that many of the people who frequent this website and these forums are/were the kinds of kids who didn't always fit in with those around them. Is that an accurate assessment of the SYM community? For those of you who are well past high school (graduated from college or in a career for several years), how have you changed (if at all)? What do you think has caused you to change? For those of you who are in high school/secondary school, how do you envision yourself five years after graduation? Do you picture yourself to still be in/out of the social mainstream?

In my high school there are several main cliques: the skaters, the preps, the jocks, the cheerleaders, the debate club geeks, the nerds, the motorheads, the rednecks, the band-geeks et al.

So what group(s) did you fit into (or didn't fit into as the case may be)?

Cool thread topic, HLD

Well, I certainly felt like I fit in, though I have had trouble with classmates in the past. I had gone through many different stages at middle and high school. Every time I changed, I changed for the better, I think (except for 1 time). I started out as a spoiled brat at 7th grade, and being ostracized was obviously the end result. I took insults very personally and was hurt everytime someone said something negative about me. By the end of the year, I had absolutely no friends. That summer I thought long and hard on how that happened. The next year I rebounded majorly, turning myself into an easy-going person, taking nothing personally. I made my first girlfriend, who eventually started to ignore me, which led to the demise of our relationship. While the girlfriend aspect started and struggled in 8th grade, I made plenty more friends, some people I still call friends today. However, some of them were sort of bullies, and since I was a non-violent person then, they pushed me to become tougher. I did. And in a result, I turned out to be a Spaz type character in 9th grade, basically punching anyone who offended me (That was a guy-I have never hit a girl). After this I became a bully-type. I pushed people around a bit and tried to look like an authority. After I accidently broke a window, it cost me $100 and a warning, so I said, maybe being a tough person is not the best. The last 2 years of high school I basically hanged out with everyone, getting my second girlfriend, that also lasted a short time, but were still friends. I became a VERY easy going person, to the fact that I was very lazy in everything. But this easy going nature allowed many people to become friends with me. However, there were times where 2 of my friends were hurting eachother's feelings, and I always felt like I wanted to stop this. Getting invovled was a bad idea. I lost 2 friends that way, but all I wanted to do was help.... I hung out mostly with the people who are into paintballs/shooter games and the girls at the computer lab. Good times those were. And here I am. So I would consider myself popular at school. I was well liked at high school probably because of that easy going nature and the fact that I always helped out those I could, when I could.

A VERY abbreviated history of my life in the last 6 years of my life at school.

I was mostly a loner in high school. I had friends, but I didn't really fit into any one group. I had friends who were "ggeks" and friends who were "metalheads" and "jocks", but most of the time I kept to myself. I was extremly shy in social settings, so that most likely contributed to my keeping to myself. In fact, most people I went to high school with probably wouldn't remember me, as I didn't go out of my way to be noticed.

In college, I got more outgoing, but still not to the point of being Mr. social. It introduced me to new people with different views than I had on a lot of things, and being the extremly curious type, I wanted to try out different things and meet people from different areas. It was good for me, and got me ready on a social level to go into the workforce. After working for a few years, I have gotten comfortable with the way I am. I am still a shy person for the most part, but I don't let that hamper my social interactions as much as I did when I was a teen.

I don't think I will ever consider myself part of any specific group, I don't like being like everyone else or trying to look or dress like whatever is the going fashion. I wear the same types of clothes I wore in high school, boots, jeans, t-shirts, leather jacket, and I like what I wear, so I don't see the need to change. I prefer being an individual over being part of a steriotypical group. I have fewer friends than a lot of people I know, but I think the ones I have are closer to me as a result.

I think I am normal for the most part

Heh, i'm one of the loner types. Quiet guy who sits in the corner, on a good day makes a complete sentence . I have very few friends (actually, only one ), but a large amount of acquaintances, probably because, as on person told me, "You're a nice guy, you never put people down and you help people when they need it, but because you don't talk it makes you seem like you have absolutly no personality." I don't really meet people unless those people force me to. I think i might actually be kinda popular, since most the people who talk to me are the popular, outgoing people (who then take advantage of my elite tutoring skills , but that is cool with me, makes it easy to find a group when we work in groups ). I don't really fit into any group, some might classify me as a goth style wise because of my black clothing and long hair, but I'm not trying to conform to anything, I just feel less conspicous the way i am, and i prefer to go through the day as an observer rather than a participant.

Neat.

Hmm, I honestly can't say who I am yet. I fit into several cliques at my school, Jock, geek, src, etc. Lots of things really. It adds up to everyone knowing who I am. I'm pretty outgoing, but not the life of every party, just some.
I think I'm a generally nice guy, and approachable. All around liked, and noticeable in the school. This is my Gr 12 year (last HS yr where I live) and I hope to make something of it. Who knows who I am in High school. It's pretty open.

Im a prep through and through, i dress nice, act like a snob, and just plain think im better than every one else. Im also i bully most of the time... its hard to control my anger, and im to big to have such a short fuse. All my friends are either fellow preps or jocks, cheerleaders will do fine aswell.

Jack of all Trades...

...Master of None?

...being a consistent honor student during my hs days I would perhaps initially be categorized as a "nerd," but then, I'm not only active with academics stuff. I also play a lot of sports a great number of times, like basketball, soccer and softball.

I was very much involved in Science-related activities as well as the Arts.

I was also a Company XO (Delta Company) during our Cadet Army Training. I loved Saturdays during CAT. My Company belongs to the Second Battalion (together with Charlie Company) where the caddettes are (GIRLS!!! ). The First Battalion (Alpha and Bravo Coys) are for the cadets.

As far as dressing goes (this one is because of my music inclination), I was identified more as one of the "New Wavers."

My closest friends, however, were the AD&D (PnP) blokes.

Who was I in high school? Good question

IMO I was the link between the "nerdy" guys and the "jocks" can't think of a better label for them.

I loved my games and would enjoy a good debate or discussion with the computer guys. However they led, and still lead very boring social lives. Thats where the other group came in, these were they guys who I generally hanged out with after school playing basketball or football and going to parties with. In class we did have some strange scenarios where all the sports guys would sit on my left and the quiet computer guys on my right for Eng Lit.

Eventually I managed to bridge the two together, well they sat near each other at lunch times, making things easier for me I generally knew everyone and was never the violent type. But thats not to say I wasn't afraid of some the idiots who were at my school. Thankfully we developed a mutual respect of each other and they stayed away from us and vice versa.

Now high school is finished, the computer guys I rarely see unless they are doing the same course as me. Otherwise I pretty much ring them a few times and we may catch a movie or two but thats it. The other guys, well we have gotten closer we still play a range of sports and go out at night every now and then. And we have the odd night where we keep the neighbours awake with our loud music renditions of various songs.

What do I dress like? I don't know, casual??? *Goes to check assortment of clothes...* I have a large amount of surf brand clothes, but thats more because of location then anything else.

There were several groups in my high school, skaties and a few semi-'nerd' groups. I never fit into any of them, I had friends in most, but to most people I was seen as weird, semi-respected, semi-feared (beats me why ), with only a few close friends and many acquaintances.
I was also quiet, so I doubt many people will remember me as time goes by.

EDIT-My high school had a school uniform , so the only way I managed to stick out there was by getting the biggest, baggiest Leavers jumper ever seen. It reached down to my knees, I got it to annoy the Head of Upper School and my grandma sewed *gasp* non-regulation colors on the end of my sleeves.
After that some other people tried getting the same thing done, with mixed results.

So are you still in high-school HLD? Gosh!
Anyway, as far as dress, I am not very easily categorizeable by usual groups...I dress something like a cross between Jimi Hendrix and Byron, only with less money, and less drugs . People who don't know me at school think I'm wierd...I am the strange kid at school LOL...But I receive some respect now for being strange...I am strange, but I am smart too, and I am not influenced by other people, so people kind of look at me in a worried and confused way when I pass, and mutter as I walk off, but don't bully me or anything like that. The people I associate myself with are just normal kids...I don't know how you could describe my friendship group other than normal - but we have a common attitude towards the skaters, goths, indie kids, townies etc - my friends just dress in nice, plain clothes, because they do not respect the type of people who dress a certain way just to become part of a group...I dress just in clothes I like, which is different to my friends, but different to everyone else too...because I equally have no respect for the Belonging Kind...
Also the way I read books disturbs people...It is odd to think, but AFAIK there is noone else in my year who 'has a book' all the time (apart from The Girl With No TV), and most kids have probably not read a book of their own free will for several years...and I am a bit arty, which makes me stand out a bit as well...(He'll think about paint and he'll think about glue...What a jolly boring thing to do)

EDIT - It's mainly just my taste in jackets though

Hmm, how would you describe me... My early years of high school were interesting to say the least. I didn't have much friends, even though I played Football (Which was huge in my school). I tended to stick to myself, and one of my close friends, and that was about it. all that changed though, once I met my one friend, Jon, who changed me profoundly. The guy taught me to be easy going, out going, and motivated me to lose a lot of weight. Sadly, after meeting him (And living with him for two months while finishing a semestar) I moved down to the Niagra region. Down here, I'm in a Catholic school (the teachers are loving me ), so clothes aren't much factor. But now, I'm the get to guy. Basically, you need something, I can get it. I have my fingers in a little bit of everything. Computers (One of the five most proficient people in my school), sports, yearbook, tech, trivia (I was board, and it seemed like a good idea). On top of that, I have friends in every social group at the school, so I wander a lot during lunch. On top of that, I have the "Highschool Football Hero" thing going for me, so that helps my standing. I'm easy going enough that no one can rile me up, but at the same time, I'm more than willing to end a fight if one has started.

I will touch slightly on the clothes. For the most part, I wear the typical jeans and T-shirt combo, but lately, I've started wearing the casual black jeans, white dress shirt with a black over shirt over top. Coupled with short spiked hair, and some killer shades, I sort've have the hired gun look going, which works. Oh yeah, I'm quite popular with the women here, so it's all good as well.

Who was I back in high school? Well, that takes us to the mid/late 80's. I split high school, two years in west virginia and two years in wisconsin. Having moved to different states previously, I had learned to adapt to all types of people and generally got along with anyone. I'm inherently shy but all the moving around really helped me develop socially and made me an intense extrovert. The deal is when you're "the new guy in school", you have to carve your own niche. If you want to meet people, you going to have to be noticed. That had positive and negative effects over time. True, you get to meet a lot of people but I also landed up in trouble a few times but it was similar hot water that a lot of us probably waded through in adolescence.

Given that background, I was never truly a member of any clique in high school but I was affiliated with several. I was a co-captain on our soccer team at the same time I was helping to form a 'computer club' at school. I was near straight-A student in high school but was arrested three times in my senior year. I spent a year dating a popular high maintenance lass but still maintained my Dungeons and Dragons ties. I hung out with the metalheads and the preps.

Basically, in moving around a lot so my interests and activities were fickle as well. I think a handful of people of all cliques disliked me because I floated from one group to the next.

I move alot so i am used to it now. I covered Highschool in Pakistan and Egypt. Overall in both schools everybody knew me or off me. People i would have no clue who they were would walk up and say hi and stuff. I wasnt exactly popular just very well known. Also known to be a brain, esp. in politics history and economics. People believed i was intelligent (i dont believe i am, average intelligence and dont work really hard). Anyway socially i was much happier in Cairo. There i was in all the groups. As a muslim and Pakistan i knew all the arab kids and what they did and hanged with them. Then i dealt with the foriegn kids as i was not an arab and thus lumped with them. So i would talk to European africans etc. I was one of the few that mixed between the two groups.

In Pakistan i didnt settle down at all. I was the outcast, as i was from abroad, the rest had rarely left the country. I was more confident with girls and when countering teachers over statements. As i was not accepted i didnt settle well in school and had no friends i cared about. They were there to pass time. Didnt care really. Spent alot of time with cousins and their friends so it was all good.

College was actually the place where i changed. But i started college at the age of 17, so i guess that would figure into 11th grade in american system.

Not entirely true CM, I started college only a couple of weeks after I turned 18 (essentially a 17 year old starting college). It all depends on when you're birthday falls and when one's parents decide their child is ready to enter the school system. My parents could've waited a year and then I would have been one of the oldest kids in my class instead of the youngest. I think my parents followed the logic of the less time I was in the house, the less damage I could do, so they shipped me off to school.

Originally posted by Ned Flanders
Not entirely true CM, I started college only a couple of weeks after I turned 18 (essentially a 17 year old starting college). It all depends on when you're birthday falls and when one's parents decide their child is ready to enter the school system. My parents could've waited a year and then I would have been one of the oldest kids in my class instead of the youngest. I think my parents followed the logic of the less time I was in the house, the less damage I could do, so they shipped me off to school.

I think that is why my parents shipped me off here. I cause less problems and supposedly spend less money But the American system places a great deal of emphasis on High school as a growing experience. Why is that? All the teen movies are around this time etc. I never understood that. College is the main development stage in my culture or when a person starts to work.

Originally posted by Ned Flanders
I think a handful of people of all cliques disliked me because I floated from one group to the next.

Change disliked to like and this covers me. I never stayed in a group, I believe most did like me.

Why? I can only guess my attitude. My charm??? I doupt

Looking back, I cannot pick a group that I stayed with..from Honor Roll to Pot Smoking Band members...I came and went.

A loner with friends in the weirds places would be what most of my class would call me.

Nothing like being with a waster and having a honor roll student stop to gossip. Or the complete turn around, being with the honor roll and having a waster stop and bull****.

I have heard "Why do you talk to him or her?" from both preps and wasters. I find both groups are more alike than they really know.

I was quiet, studious and a good christian girl during highschool.




This changed when I discovered how fun being bad was.



Viv

by weasel
Change disliked to like and this covers me. I never stayed in a group, I believe most did like me.

Oh yeah, i think most people did like me as well but there were always die hard cliquee's that would only assimilate with their group. Those are the ones are I referred to here.

by weasel
I find both groups are more alike than they really know.

Amen to that. I was always amazed with people in high school who were so quick to judge and point out the differences in others when most people were very much alike in high school.


Apologies to HLD if you think we're spamming up your thread. I didn't intend to.

Originally posted by Vivien
This changed when I discovered how fun being bad was.

LOL That's good to hear

Me, I was both a very bad and a very good girl in highschool age. I was the top student in the school, straight A:s, I skipped a class in the middle of the term, and both my fellow students and the teachers considered me a genious. Like Frogus describes (I am getting more and more convinced he must be my secret son) I was both smart and different, which for some strange reason led to popularity and respect. In school, I used to hang around with the pretties and smartest girls. They were not my close friends though, all my real friends where elsewhere and much older than I.

I had a vast circle of friends and aquintances from many different groups. Goth and rock band people, some of which later became fairly famous. My then best girl friend became more or less a groupie, that's when I left this circle for good. I also had a circle of very arty and intellectual (yes, very pretentious) friends, people I sat up all night and discussed art, philosophy and literature with. Everything was very glamourous, the guys often dressed in white shirts and 40's style Italian suits, sometimes with Oscar Wilde-style scarves instead of tie. The girls (me included) often had flashy dresses in silk or velvet, stiletto heels and lots of eye make up. I often wore long, tight dresses and skirts (that's why some of my friends called me "Morticia" after the lady in the Adams family) or 40' or 60' style suits with tight jacket and skirts. Mixing second hand clothes, clothes you made yourself or had some skillful friend make for you, and the sole French or Italian designer item like a handbag or the shoes, was very popular. Another circle of friends were the more trashy, punk or hippie style people who were very political and socially conscious. Yet another group were the trendy media wannabes, people who wanted to become celebrities, designers, etc - some of them succeded in this.

I didn't belong to any group, but in periods I looked more extreme than any of them This was largely depending on the fact that I had a close friend who was an experimental hairdresser/stylist and he sometimes used me as a model. I think I have told you the horror story about how he used me for an exhibition (some kind of competition), and he won and I was on the cover on some stupid magazine in a hairstyle so horrendous is made me spend the summer in a hooded cloak! I also had several friends interested in clothes, and I used to buy or swap clothes with them.

During the highschool years, I was out clubbing 4-5 nights a week, always weekdays since weekend clubbing was "unhip". I had the most number of absence hours in the entire school. The school psychologist viewed me as a problem kid, and was afraid I would influence the other kids in a negative way. She called me to her room and accused me of taking drugs. She even called my parents (who only laughed - they knew I didn't even drink alcohol). I told everybody in school about this unfair accusation, and that led to my classmates almost lynching the poor psychologist. She got a "nervous breakdown" and quit for sickness leave. I was a nightmare student. I was never quiet, I questioned everything, especially the school system as a whole. I burned my diploma with all my straight A:s on the school yard on the graduation day - as a statement of course, and everybody knew this. The teachers were shocked.

What more? I had a zillion boyfriends all the time. I had more friends than I had time with. I was very social and outgoing and made new friends all the time. I had a close friend who's mother worked at Swiss air, so we got cheap left over tickets for nothing. We felt soooo sophisticated when we went over to the big cities in Europe to club, eat or shop. We went around saying stuff like "Oh, I had this marvellous ham for lunch today at La Bruchette" and the other person would say "Aha, where is that?" and you would say "Oh, it's in Paris". Or somebody would say "Nice jacket, where did you buy it?" and you'd say "Ah, in Milano, I was there yesterday."

I think you get it. Yes I know, I was horrible, no need to tell me. Still, as I have mentioned before, I was actually quite depressed a lot of the time, and I only felt really happy when I was climbing, alone in the remote wilderness. What changed my life and how I was, was accepting that I actually was different from most people my age group, there was no idea to try to conform or try to "melt in". Also, I realised there was no obvious place for me in this world, I didn't fit in anywhere. So I had to make myself a place where I fit in. By selecting things I feel is right for me - selecting my friends carefully, selecting my education, selecting my job, selecting my life style, selecting everything instead of just "letting things happen" or "go with the flow". And I would say that nothing in my life as a teen taught me so much and gave so much as all my travelling. I spent my late teens travelling around, living like a bum, instead of going to college. And I haven't regretted a second of it, even though it delayed my career a few years.

Sorry for the long post, and thank you to those of you who were so interested in my life so you read all of that!