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Okay folks, I was flipping through my T.V. Guide late last night and noticed that this film was being played at 2 AM. Naturally I had to watch it (I'm usually up till the wee hours of the night anyway). This was Arnold Schwarzeneggar's first film (billed as Arnold Strong). It's crapiness is the stuff of legends (Arnold himself tries to deny it's existence) but after seeing it with my own eyes I have to admit the myths don't even begin to describe the sheer craptacular splendor of this movie.

In the original release Arnold was dubbed, but I got to see the “special” version with the original soundtrack and Arnold's voice. Hehehe Lucky me. Arnie’s English has come a long way since 1970. His accent is extremely thick and he talks very slow, so he sounds like he’s mentally retarded. Most of the actors seem like they were approached on the street and asked if they wanted to be in a movie. Calling the budget shoestring would be a complement. You can hear cars and airplanes in the background during the Mount Olympus scenes. The mythology is absurdly eclectic - Greek names are used at certain times, Roman names at others, but the real kicker is when Atlas (who is not a Titan) and Samson (?!) come out of nowhere to help Herc fight some mobsters.

But the most hysterical scene is when a "600-pound European brown bear" escapes from the Zoo (It's never explained how or why the bear got out) and attacks Hercules and his date as they ride in a carriage. They couldn’t afford a real bear, so they got a guy in a furry suit to shamble around Central Park growling. Initially we’re only distant shots from behind the “bear,” I guess to prevent us from observing just how bad the outfit blows. Unfortunately these efforts are hampered by the fact that the dude in the bear suit moves like a fricking GORRILA!!! And when we finally do see the bear up close… Oh God, it’s like the one from Late Night with Conan O’Brien. Arnold’s wrestling match with it (indeed, all the fights in this movie) look like they were choreographed by Kindergarteners. I was laughing so hard I nearly peed myself. You must see this film. It's the quintessential B-Movie, one so horrendously bad it’s good.

All right, folks, Kayless has officially lost it.

Hercules in New York makes The Evil Dead look like Citizen Kane, eh?

Lost it? Who said I ever had to begin with? I swear to you, no other film can compare to the campy greatness of Hercules in New York. Nothing! Resistance is Futile!

Sadly, I don´t even think my video renter has it...

*ehem*

(Worst Imitation ever of the Comic Book guy)


"Worst Movie... EVER"

Originally posted by Jaesha
Sadly, I don´t even think my video renter has it...

Don't worry, once I have control of the world...you will get to see it on Weasel National TV...all 244 channels.....The dubbed version is the best.

Oh I don't think it is beter than Night of the Lepus or even Food of the Gods, those have more shambling men in suits per seen than any other films ever created!

Originally posted by Kayless
Okay folks, I was flipping through my T.V. Guide late last night and noticed that this film was being played at 2 AM. Naturally I had to watch it (I'm usually up till the wee hours of the night anyway). This was Arnold Schwarzeneggar's first film (billed as Arnold Strong). It's crapiness is the stuff of legends (Arnold himself tries to deny it's existence) but after seeing it with my own eyes I have to admit the myths don't even begin to describe the sheer craptacular splendor of this movie.

In the original release Arnold was dubbed, but I got to see the “special” version with the original soundtrack and Arnold's voice. Hehehe Lucky me. Arnie’s English has come a long way since 1970. His accent is extremely thick and he talks very slow, so he sounds like he’s mentally retarded. Most of the actors seem like they were approached on the street and asked if they wanted to be in a movie. Calling the budget shoestring would be a complement. You can hear cars and airplanes in the background during the Mount Olympus scenes. The mythology is absurdly eclectic - Greek names are used at certain times, Roman names at others, but the real kicker is when Atlas (who is not a Titan) and Samson (?!) come out of nowhere to help Herc fight some mobsters.

But the most hysterical scene is when a "600-pound European brown bear" escapes from the Zoo (It's never explained how or why the bear got out) and attacks Hercules and his date as they ride in a carriage. They couldn’t afford a real bear, so they got a guy in a furry suit to shamble around Central Park growling. Initially we’re only distant shots from behind the “bear,” I guess to prevent us from observing just how bad the outfit blows. Unfortunately these efforts are hampered by the fact that the dude in the bear suit moves like a fricking GORRILA!!! And when we finally do see the bear up close… Oh God, it’s like the one from Late Night with Conan O’Brien. Arnold’s wrestling match with it (indeed, all the fights in this movie) look like they were choreographed by Kindergarteners. I was laughing so hard I nearly peed myself. You must see this film. It's the quintessential B-Movie, one so horrendously bad it’s good.

ROFLMAO!!!
OK. Thanks Kayless. This has got to be the hardest Ive laughed online. Oh man. This is classic. Ive never seen the film, but you can bet Ill be looking it up. I love things that are sort-of professional that are unintentionally funny. I went to one of my friends houses and sat down and watched B-Movies for a few hours, just laughing at its crappiness. Thanks for the info, Kayless! Ill be sure to tell my friend about this.

Originally posted by Jaesha
Sadly, I don´t even think my video renter has it...

If you have cable, AMC (American Movie Classics) channel runs it from time to time (very late at night).

Originally posted by RandomThug
(Worst Imitation ever of the Comic Book guy)


"Worst Movie... EVER"

Yes, but it's so incredibly bad it's good. Thus it's the "BEST MOVIE EVER!"

Originally posted by Weasel
Don't worry, once I have control of the world...you will get to see it on Weasel National TV...all 244 channels.....The dubbed version is the best.

Oh what a glorious day that will be! Conquer the world soon Weasel, everyone needs to see Hercules in New York!

Originally posted by Mr Sleep
Oh I don't think it is beter than Night of the Lepus or even Food of the Gods, those have more shambling men in suits per seen than any other films ever created!

LOL Yeah those are pretty good too (worthy of Mystery Science Theatre 3000).

Originally posted by Tybaltus
ROFLMAO!!!
OK. Thanks Kayless. This has got to be the hardest Ive laughed online. Oh man. This is classic. Ive never seen the film, but you can bet Ill be looking it up. I love things that are sort-of professional that are unintentionally funny. I went to one of my friends houses and sat down and watched B-Movies for a few hours, just laughing at its crappiness. Thanks for the info, Kayless! Ill be sure to tell my friend about this.

Indeed, a movie like this is best enjoyed in the company of others, so make sure you bring as many friends as you can (I suppose one is enough, but the more the merrier).

Another one worth catching simply for it's terrible-ness is Ed Woods Plan 9 From Outer Space. It has been dubbed Ed Wood's Citizen Cane.
Trust me on this one, or do a search on it.

EDIT-This page should do nicely.

Originally posted by Weasel


Don't worry, once I have control of the world...you will get to see it on Weasel National TV...all 244 channels.....The dubbed version is the best.

We could broadcast WeaselBrother, which would make it up for animalplanet.