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Bloodstalker's Hillbilly Cafe
Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2003 3:10 pm
by dragon wench
In honour of Bloodstalker I thought I would create a pub uniquely suited to the cultural contributions he brings to SYM
Upon entering the cafe you will here a jukebox cheerfully piping out:
Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed.
A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed,
Then one day he was shootin at some food,
And up through the ground came a bubblin crude.
Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea.
Well the first thing you know ol Jed's a millionaire,
Kinfolk said "Jed move away from there"
Said "Californy is the place you ought to be"
So they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly.
Hills, that is. Swimmin pools, movie stars.
Naturally.... being the hospitable sort he is, BS will ensure that tasty munchies accompany those many tumblers of Turkey. So patrons will be able to choose from a wide-ranging menu.....
*Sauteed Squirrel on the half tail
*Racoon ragout with herbed dumplings and grits
*Skunk stew.... simmered in its own juices...
*Possum Pie with pine needles n' taters
MMMmmm Tasty Vittles!
Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2003 3:12 pm
by Aegis
Where's the banjo?
Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2003 3:13 pm
by dragon wench
Originally posted by Aegis
Where's the banjo?
I think you just volunteered
Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2003 3:16 pm
by VoodooDali
This Cafe would not be complete without the following recipe:
Twinkie Pie
Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
Butter
9 Twinkies
3 Eggs -- large, seperated
1 Dash Cream of tartar
1/2 c Sugar
1/2 t Vanilla extract
6 oz Chocolate chips -- semisweet
1 c Pecans -- chopped
1 c Heavy cream -- whipped
Grease pyrex square or rectangular casserole with butter. Cut 8 Twinkies in thirds, LENGTHWISE, and put one layer on the bottom of the casserole. Beat egg whites, with the cream of tartar and sugar, adding vanilla. Melt chocolate chips in the top of a double boiler. Add egg yolks to chocolate, slowly, continuing to stir over boiling water. Fold chocolate into egg whites. Spread over Twinkies, then sprinkle with about half of the nuts. Layer on more twinkies, more chocolate, more nuts. Continue layering. Top with whipped cream and a single whole Twinkie. Chill and serve.
Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2003 3:18 pm
by Aegis
Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2003 3:27 pm
by dragon wench
@Aegis, well I'm sure you will adapt
Besides I have a pair of overalls and straw hat here that I am certain will suit you just perfectly... keeps you in connection with your buccolic origins
@Voo, lmao!
Given my low sweet/rich tolerance that recipe positively makes me shudder!
Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2003 3:48 pm
by Aegis
No need for the clothes... Got'em already...
Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2003 4:33 pm
by Tybaltus
Originally posted by dragon wench
*Sauteed Squirrel on the half tail
*Racoon ragout with herbed dumplings and grits
*Skunk stew.... simmered in its own juices...
*Possum Pie with pine needles n' taters
Barbarians!
Damn...eating some of my favorite breeds!
I even shared characteristics with a raccoon for a month here...Its just so sad.
Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2003 5:14 pm
by VoodooDali
Some house rules for the cafe:
Clothing for Men:
T-shirt
T-shirts = T-shirts are allowable if they have witty sayings such as "My wife said it was either her or Hunting, Damn I’m gonna miss her" or "BUD WISE ER"
Tank Top:
White will do in a pinch, but preferably one with Beer Advertisements, Hunting, or some sort of Car or truck.
Flannel
Need I say More?
HATS
A Simple ball cap with a Gas Station Logo on it is suitable. However, a Straw cowboy hat or a Black Standard Cowboy hat will also suffice. The Pith helmet is also making a comeback. Remember that anything with John Deere printed on it is suitable from everything from weddings to parties.
Other Important Grooming :
Please remember to slick back your hair with Bryl Cream, Mousse with a little bit of water will also get this effect. Otherwise, make sure to get your hair cut "Mullet" style.
Scents : Aqua Velva, or Old Spice
Clothing for Women:
A house dress or Mu Mu Is the preferred Womanly wear, however the following will also be acceptable
Clam Diggers AKA Pedal Pushers, AKA Capri Pants, Red and Black are suitable colors
Stretch Pants – Fat thighs and butt? Show 'em off!
Mini Skirt
By all means, if you got the legs to do it, wear it! If you have had children, I advise not wearing this article of clothing, cause once a baby’s gone through your womanly passage, everything just makes you look like that "THE PLANE GUY" from Fantasy Island (short and squatty).
SHOES
Choose simple shoes, flats are best. Flip Flops and Slip on Fisherman shoes are also very chic. Most parties should be held outside, and heels would just sink right into the ground.
Hair
If your hair is already platinum, then you are set. However if not, you better be reaching for the Sun In and Lemon Juice.
Big hair is always in, whether it is your bangs, or swooped up in a Beehive, or what the youngins like to call an Up Do.
There are only two acceptable scents : Jean Nate, and those 99 cent cologne imposters from Wal-mart
If your in a hurry, some things to remember :
No Items
Pony Tails
French braids (Hair is already crispy you don’t want to break it)
Those damn Chopstick type things
Hats of any kind
Yes Items
Hair Nets
Rain Bonnets
Dollar Store Scrunchies
Dollar Store Barrettes and Clippy things
Use of a Tease Comb
Curlers
Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2003 5:25 pm
by dragon wench
@Voo,
ROFLMAO!
Hmmm... looks like I'll need to head out to the local Walmart in order to do some clothes shopping!
I have this feeling that my current outfit of Levis, a sweatshirt and loose, fly-away hair won't quite cut it!
Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2003 5:29 pm
by VoodooDali
Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2003 5:36 pm
by dragon wench
Originally posted by VoodooDali
You can always keep your hair long, get bangs cut, then tease your bangs and put a lot of mousse in 'em until they're spikey and sticking straight up. I call 'em Texan War Bangs. (The most popular hair style when I lived in Texas).
OMG! No doubt my partner would understand the term of "War Bangs" upon homing in for a kiss as well. Although I guess it would increase my chances of being able to wear a mini skirt at any rate
Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2003 1:50 am
by Bloodstalker
It's about time we gad a place around here with some real class about it
Such research and attention to detail....I am impressed....nuff talk, where's the booze?
Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2003 2:13 am
by Maharlika
I anticipated that question, Sensei...
Originally posted by Bloodstalker
Such research and attention to detail....I am impressed....nuff talk, where's the booze?
...although I felt it befitting that you be the one to ask that.
*hands BS a Turkey*
Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2003 2:25 am
by Bloodstalker
Hey, how's it going Mah? What'cha think, this place cultural enough? I could get some hounds tot hang out under the porch. I think we got a porch
Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2003 2:48 am
by Bloodstalker
Weasel season
technically, varmint, but it's one and the same
Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2003 3:07 am
by Minerva
Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2003 3:27 am
by Bloodstalker
My odds of catching Weasel have improved...Minerva has lent support
Can I use you for bait?