GameBanshee Forums

In the beginning there was the computer. And God said

c:\>Let there be light!

Enter user id.

c:\>God

Enter password.

c:\>Omniscient

Password incorrect. Try again.

c:\>Omnipotent

Password incorrect. Try again.

c:\>Technocrat

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
c:\>Let there be light!

Unrecognizable command. Try again.
c:\>Create light

Done

c:\>Run heaven and earth

And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.

c:\>Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light

Unrecognizable command. Try again.

c:\>Create firmament

Done.

c:\>Run firmament

And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.

And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.

c:\>Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one
place and let the dry land appear and

Too many characters in specification string. Try again.

c:\>Create dry_land

Done.

c:\>Run firmament

And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.

And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4
.
c:\>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the
night.

Unspecified type. Try again.

c:\>Create sun_moon_stars

Done

c:\>Run sun_moon_stars

And God separated the light from the darkness. The sun ruled over the
day and the moon and stars ruled over the night.

And God saw there were 0 errors.

And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.

c:\>Create fish

Done

c:\>Create fowl

Done

c:\>Run fish, fowl

And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that
creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged
fowl after its kind.

And God saw there were 0 errors.

And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.

c:\>Create cattle

Done

c:\>Create creepy_things

Done

c:\>Now let us make man in our image
Unspecified type. Try again.

c:\>Create man

Done

c:\>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it
and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl
of the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the
earth

Too many command operands. Try again.

c:\>Run multiplication

Execution terminated. 6 errors..

c:\>Insert breath

Done

c:\>Run multiplication

Execution terminated. 5 errors.

c:\>Move man to Garden of Eden

File Garden of Eden does not exist.
c:\>Create Garden.edn

Done

c:\>Move man to Garden.edn

Done

c:\>Run multiplication

Execution terminated. 4 errors.

c:\>Copy woman from man

Done

c:\>Run multiplication

Execution terminated. 2 errors.

c:\>Create desire

Done

c:\>Run multiplication

And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn

Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
c:\>Create freewill

Done

c:\>Run freewill

And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn

Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
c:\>Undo desire

Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
c:\>Destroy freewill

Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
c:\>Help

Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
c:\>Create tree_of_knowledge

And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn

Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
c:\>Create good, evil

Done

c:\>Activate evil

And God saw he had created shame.

Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in
Garden.edn. 1 errors.

c:\>Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
Search failed.

c:\>Delete shame

Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
c:\>Destroy freewill

Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
c:\>Stop

Unrecognizable command. Try again
c:\>Break

c:\>Break

c:\>Break

ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN
FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES.
PLEASE LOG OFF.

c:\>Create new world

You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy old
files before new ones can be created.

c:\>Destroy earth

Destroy earth: Please confirm.

c:\>Destroy earth confirmed

COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY,
MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.

And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.
On March 8, God created the MacIntosh.

Hehe, LMAO
This remembers me of my DOS days.
Untill games only where usable under windows95 i used it.
And still love it.

LMAO!

...don't forget to include when God made the Apple(tm).

Re: LMAO!

Originally posted by Maharlika
...don't forget to include when God made the Apple(tm).

That's an interesting philisophical point there Mar, did he create the apple so that the serpent could use it to convince Eve and then establish free will or was it the lone work of serpent taking advantage of God's good will. Hmmmm

Re: Re: LMAO!

Originally posted by Mr Sleep
That's an interesting philisophical point there Mar, did he create the apple so that the serpent could use it to convince Eve and then establish free will or was it the lone work of serpent taking advantage of God's good will. Hmmmm

I wonder if it's occurred to anyone that God might have put the serpent up to it in the first place. I think he did.

Interesting that you mentioned that...

Originally posted by Mr Sleep
That's an interesting philisophical point there Mar, did he create the apple so that the serpent could use it to convince Eve and then establish free will or was it the lone work of serpent taking advantage of God's good will. Hmmmm

...since free will was one of our late night-early morn topic-discussion with Silur before he left Bangkok...

...and guess what, he's a "reluctant" proud owner of an Apple(tm)!

Re: Re: Re: LMAO!

Originally posted by Chanak
I wonder if it's occurred to anyone that God might have put the serpent up to it in the first place. I think he did.

Read a great short stroy by Neil Gaiman about it, get Smoke and Mirrors, it's very good.

It's an interesting subject a bit too deep for me but interesting none the less.

God ? See how Gates VS Satan

"Wiiiiilliam Gaaaates..."

"Oh, hi, Satan. What's up downstairs?"

"It's tiiiiime..."

"Yeah, but we're still debugging Memphis, and Ballmer swears he'll wipe out Adobe before lunch, and Melinda wants to change the tile in the third-floor kitchen again, and..."

"Sorry, Bill. I've given you too many extensions already, not to mention the Oracle8 launch event disaster, not to mention Steve
Jobs' head on a platter."

"Yeah, that was a good one. I think you enjoy this as much as I..."

"Regardless, a deal's a deal. Your soul is mine, Bill Gates. And
today is the day you pay your eternal debt to me."

"Now, let's be reasonable here, Satan..."

"Reasonable?!? You want reasonable?!? You're the richest man in
the world! You've got a beautiful wife and daughter! Microsoft is the most powerful company on the planet! We're even using NT to run hell's WAN server! And frankly, it sucks. That's one of the reasons I've come to collect. If you can't get my network to run right, you'll spend the afterlife writing Windows applications that run on doorbells..."

"What's your alternative, Satan? Netware? AppleTalk? OS/2? You're a funny guy for someone who breathes fire."

"Well, God is porting all his heaven-critical applications to Java..."

"Java?!? Stop it, Satan. You're going to make me wet my pants again like that time you told me to buy Novell for $50 a share."

"Yes, Java, running on Sun servers, IBM plumbing and Oracle databases with thin clients accessing the apps via the web through Netscape Navigator."

"That's not a solution, that's one of those Grimm's fairy tales that scare children to death. I have yet to see an NC actually being used to do anything except crash during demonstrations. Look, Java is a nice little language for animating web sites, but Shockwave after too many espressos isn't going to displace Windows as an applications platform on hundreds of millions of PCs."

"Nevertheless, Java is the future of computing, and I'll be damned if I'm going to give God a strategic technology advantage!"

"Satan, what if I told you I could kill off Java with a single word?"

"Interesting. Tell me more."

"Wait a minute. What's in it for me?"

"I promise I won't turn you into Larry Ellison's bidet right this second."

"Okay, that works for me. Here's the word...disable."

"Disable what?"

"Disable Java support in Internet Explorer."

"You mean Microsoft's web browser won't run Java anymore?"

"That's right, brimstone breath. You want to run Java, give Netscape 50 bucks per seat and pray that IBM doesn't buy the company to merge Communicator with Lotus Notes."

"The Department of Justice will..."

"Will what? Punish me because I won't support a product my enemies want to use to destroy my company? Chevrolet dealers don't have to sell Fords. Pepsi's restaurants don't have to offer Coke. Why does Microsoft have to support Java?"

"It's an industry standard..."

"It's an industry hallucination."

"There will be a public outcry..."

"From who? Network managers? MIS? The CIO? They're up to their nosehairs in Cobol getting ready for January 1, 2000. To them, Java is still a cute word for coffee."

"What about all those spiffy applets on thousands of web sites?"

"Microsoft owns 100 percent of the Apple and Windows preload market for browsers, and our overall share has gone from zero to half in two years. It's a safe bet most people will soon use IE for web access. If they come to a site that doesn't work because of Java, they'll simply jump to the next one. Trust me, developers will switch to ActiveX faster than you can say 'Playstation.'"

"What about other platforms..."

"Like Intel has competition?"

"Interactive TV..."

"We call it WebTV in Redmond."

"Venture capitalists have invested billions..."

"To get a date with Kim Polese."

"Sun will write a plug-in..."

"Not without the hidden APIs."

"Of all my minions, you are my very favorite, Bill. You may stay."

"Thanks, Satan. Now, about that Exchange license agreement..."

Mmm, sorry Nightmare, but I believe Waverly posted that long long time ago.

I like that last one, a lot. It also has an uncomforable air of reality.

As for Adam and Eve: one of the most sadistic stories I've ever read. This Jehovah type creates a couple of simple creatures, and tells them not to do something; whereupon another creature he created encourages them to do it. When they disobey the instruction, they are cursed with exile, disease, famine, hatred, etc. And just to make it less comprehensible, all their descendants, who never did anything to deserve it, are cursed in precisely the same way. Innocent babes dying in their cradles. Families wiped out in floods, or from starvation. All to please this bizarre storm god with delusions of grandeur.

Spam? ME? Never!

Originally posted by fable
And just to make it less comprehensible, all their descendants, who never did anything to deserve it, are cursed in precisely the same way. Innocent babes dying in their cradles. Families wiped out in floods, or from starvation. All to please this bizarre storm god with delusions of grandeur.

But if you accept God into your heart none of that will matter.

Lets sacrifice fable to appease God!

Originally posted by Gruntboy
Lets sacrifice fable to appease God!

Why sacrificing fable will appease God?

Originally posted by Minerva
Why sacrificing fable will appease God?

I thought exactly the same thing when I read that line...

And ROFLMAO to those 2 jokes

No reason, I just want to sacrifice fable.

Bah - GOD needs a user guide.

C:\>format c:

All files on the non-removable drive C:\> will be deleted.
Continue y/n: y_


You don't have access to this command.
Please consult your systemadministrator.

LMAO @ Xan.

So you still can't figure out those new Win 32 bit error codes ? Here's the description of the codes :

WinErr: 00 - Windows loaded: System in danger.
WinErr: 002 - No Error: Yet.
WinErr: 003 - Dynamic linking error: Your mistake is now in every file.
WinErr: 004 - Erroneous error: Nothing is wrong.
WinErr: 005 - Multitasking attempted: System confused.
WinErr: 006 - Malicious error: Desqview found on drive.
WinErr: 007 - System price error: Inadequate money spent onhardware.
WinErr: 008 - Broken window: Watch out for glass fragments.
WinErr: 009 - Horrible bug encountered: Only God knows what has happened.
WinErr: 00A - Promotional literature overflow: Mailbox full.
WinErr: 00B - Inadequate disk space: Free at least 50MB.
WinErr: 00C - Memory hog error: More Ram needed. More! More!More!...
WinErr: 00D - Window closed: Do not look outside.
WinErr: 00E - Window open: Do not look inside.
WinErr: 00F - Unexplained error: Please tell us how this happened.
WinErr: 00 - Reserved for future mistakes by our developers.
WinErr: 03 - Unexpected error: Huh?
WinErr: 04 - Keyboard locked: Try anything you can think of.
WinErr: 08 - Unrecoverable error: System has been destroyed. Buy a new one. Old Windows licence is not valid anymore.
WinErr: 09 - User error: Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not!
WinErr: 0A - Operating system overwritten: Please reinstall all your Software. We are terribly sorry. (snicker)
WinErr: 0B - Illegal error: You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will get a penalty for that.
WinErr: 0C - Uncertainty error: Uncertainty may be inadequate.
WinErr: 0D - System crash: We are unable to figure out our own code.
WinErr: 0E - Timing error: Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait...
WinErr: 020 - Error recording error codes: Additional errors will be lost.
WinErr: 042 - Virus error: A virus has been activated in a DOS-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again.
WinErr: 079 - Mouse not found: A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue.
WinErr: 03 - Error buffer overflow: Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded.
WinErr: 678 - This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
WinErr: 683 - Time out error: Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure.
WinErr: 85 - Insufficient Memory: Only 50,32,583 Bytes available
WinErr: 625 - Working Error: The system has been working perfectly for the past ten minutes. Please reboot.
WinErr: 902 - Screen Error: The system is working perfectly, Windows is not lying, your monitor is wrong.
WinErr: 72a - Crucial Halt: Hang on, WHAT was that?
WinErr: 72b - Memory Error: What? Tell Windows again.
WinErr:9c - Disk Error in drive a: Although your disk is in perfect condition (Windows just formatted it), Windows didn't like it any more.
WinErr: 983 - Hard Disk Error: The files on the hard disk were neatly arranged and fully optimised, so Windows had to mess them up and put a couple of hundred .TMP files all over the place.
WinErr: 294 - BlackMail Error: Send $200 to Gates or your computer will get so messed up it will never work again.
WinErr: 872 - Windows can't be bothered doing that.

Originally posted by Gruntboy
No reason, I just want to sacrifice fable.

Oh, well. That's alright, then. If you were doing it to get into some deity's good graces, I was going to be disgusted. And just to be fair about it all, and show there are no hard feelings, I'd like to sacrifice you, too.

The instigator that I am...

...I can't help but get reminded by fable and grunt's tit for tat of those Greek gods in the movie Clash of the Titans.

Please don't sacrfice me to the Kraken!

...well for one thing I'm not an alluring female virgin...

@fable & Grunt : Ohhh allright I sacrifice both of you for M$ Just don't complain !