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I had Jaheira in my party and after the very first romance talk adter you get out I told her that I would leave her and come back for her later. She was very sad. She told me she would go to the docks outside of the harper building. Fair enough. When I went to the docks she talked to me and said she knew she'd take me back. I said no, not yet. She got mad and told me that I'd never see her again...

What am I supposed to do if I don't want her in my party right now, but perhaps later?

Don't talk to her at the Harper Hold until you are ready to take her back into the party.

SPOILER:

Once you pick her up at the Harper Hold you cannot drop her again without her leaving for good although she will leave your party temporarily on occassion (once for a day and a second time when you have to rescue her to get her back).

IMO Jaheira is really good if you are playing with a 2-3 member party but not good in larger parties as she will level up to slowly to be very useful until very late in the game.

Four words, @UncleScratchy, why I would disagree with you about not keeping Jaheira in a large party:

1) Raise Dead.
2) Insect Plague.

But you have a point about her being slow to advance. Given a choice between Jaheira and, say, Aerie, I'd take Aerie any day, although the latter's also a multi-class. You can simply get more mileage out of cleric/mage than you can out of druid/fighter.

i disagree, jahira isnt slow advancing, she was keeping up with the rest of the pack very good

plus she is very valuavle for all her druid spells, including all the healing spells

Originally posted by UncleScratchy
Don't talk to her at the Harper Hold until you are ready to take her back into the party.

But I didn't talk to her, SHE talked to ME! It was an auto trigger

Originally posted by UncleScratchy

IMO Jaheira is really good if you are playing with a 2-3 member party but not good in larger parties as she will level up to slowly to be very useful until very late in the game.

Even in a six party Jaheira is really powerful in most of SoA (because as a druid she level up very quickly till lev. 13), and in the second part of ToB (once she reach druid lev. 15 and she will start again to gain lev. very quickly). But even in the first part of ToB, when her progression il lagging back a little (she still advance as a fighter and has the HLA) is a very effective char.

Actually I believe that is even better to have Jaheira in a big party, because she wan't be lagging in SoA (especially without ToB), while with ToB she will start lagging in the end of SoA and in the first half of ToB (the easiest part and her companion are sufficiently powerful to cover her).
On the contrary, with a small party she will start lagging in the middle of SoA where the rest of the party wan't be as powerfull (especially if you don't have ToB)