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Contains Spoilers

Ive just chased the bridge district ripper out of his tanner shop .. making my way out when both jaheira and aerie have romantic dialogues with me.
Jaheira sys she wants to answer my question that i asked before tells me about her past and all three things that i say are all positive so things are looking okay.
Right after that aerie starts complaining that she cant take this wretched life without her wings.. has a little argument with jaheira where she starts getting jealous .. trouble is whatever i say to her seems to be the wrong thing.
If i promise to find a way to get her wings back she takes offence and says stay away from me.. if i tell her to have strength to face it she doesnt like that either. if i say life isnt so wretched on the ground .. she says it is.. then i get left with the other two dialogue options that end bad..

if she is upset at me when im being kind.. does that mean the romance is over?
Do i have to shoot jaheira down before aerie starts for her to be positive?
Ive tried reloading and trying different things.. aerie alwys ending up telling me to stay away .. whats her problem
When do i choose and in what form do i have to choose between jaheira and aerie?

Aerie's just really upset about her wings - as long as you didn't choose any bad responses (telling her off for whining and that sort of thing) then the romance will still continue - she's just upset, and isn't really listening to you.

The choice between which romance to continue with is really obvious - you'll get a dialogue where you'll have to side with either Aerie or Jaheira; there's no way in between, you have to either support one or the other and the one that you support is the one that will continue.