GameBanshee Forums

My life has been quite complicated over the last half year or so. Indeed, having finally reached a space of relative calm after months and months of total chaos, I feel as though I've just survived running a gauntlet.

Last week I had five days during which I had a lot of time to myself, and I spent this past weekend over at a friend's place basically just relaxing. She lives on a large island off of the coast, so visits with her always involve a couple of ferry trips and at least one overnight.

All of this has caused me to reflect a great deal on things that are important to me. In particular... non material things. I decided that for me, the two most important of these are those precious hours where one can be utterly alone, and also.. friendship.. the sort of friendship where you connect with somebody on every level, and you can communicate without saying a single word. This is not the type of friendship I have with the friend I just visited, friendships such as this are very rare. But after having had so much time to muse, it is also something I thought about.


Anyone else? Remember, it can't be material


p.s Sorry if this has been done previously, my memory is failing me, and doing a search for something so vague is a tad difficult. Besides, we have a lot of different members now.

Not to sound bitter or anything, but I don't think I have much I care about at all. I never did really cling to material things, but now that I think about it there aren't many non material things either. I value friendship and time to relax just as much as the next person.

Well, I guess there is the self. My friends will all agree that I'm overly introspective. I have to constantly redetermine and test the things that I stand for, and I can't really approach any kind of situation without knowing that in the back of my head. My most precious of non material things is my definition of myself.

I can be quite lost without it.

I've spent a great deal of time musing over the very thing you're posting about here, DW. The most important things in life to me are indeed immaterial, and of those that come to mind, the most important of all - to me - is trust.

I have made the grievous error of trusting too quickly before, and have paid the price for that mistake. In just about every area of my life, I have vested trust in both individuals and organizations (business and otherwise) that never actually earned nor, in the end, deserved my trust. Some captured my trust by preying upon a vulnerability in me at the time...others, by virtue of naivite on my part, were given a measure of trust they never asked for nor demanded. Both sorts of errors bear the same fruit: pain. A great deal of it.

After some bitter lessons recently, I've retracted my trust in just about everything save a precious few things. My family, which for years I avoided like the plague, have proven themselves enough to me to earn and keep my trust. I have never put much stock in blood relations alone...rabbits often eat their first litter, and the news is full of horror stories regarding children and abusive/murderous parents. Enough has taken place to challenge my trust in them over the years to convince me that they really have my best interests at heart, even in the face of their ignorance of many of the things I have gone through while estranged from them.

That represents an about-face on my part for any that know me very well. The lynch pin was my father's heart attack last year. I remembered this man and how much of his own personal ambitions he set aside for his children, and decided the real injustice here was my avoidance of someone that rendered me the best possible service he could. How can I in turn deny him the same treatment from me?

True friendship ...like posted by DW...the kind where you can communicate without saying a word...Just recently took a long driving trip with a friend I've known for 10 years or so...Son-in-law was with us also and he actually noticed this and timed us on speech...LOL...He said that my friend and I spoke around 15 words in a 3 hour time period and half of those were about the music we were listening to...

Unconditional love the kind you get from very close friends, lovers, children and pets. That ask nothing in return.

Joy ....for me the joy of nature and life in general...I've had 2 experiences in life that have made me appreciate the little things ..the first was a house fire, that only resulted in a few scars..
.the second, I rolled a pick-up truck, a 1 1/4, if you're counting:laugh: , when I realized that I was still very much alive , I have since then, changed the way I look upon the world and where I place my priorities...which in turn caused my already crumbling marriage to end...but that's another story.:laugh:

Life is short, Break the rules,
Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly,
Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably,
And never regret anything that made you smile.

The joy of loving and being loved.

Solitude to appreciate the natural beauty of the outdoors

The trust implicit in the eyes of a four year old as she takes my hand and says "I love you".

And yes, the doggy drool when I pat my dog, and play with him and the cat fur that tickles my nose when I cuddle my cats. Those are material things, true, but not the sort one would purchase.

the simplest of things.

The smile of a child.

Yes friendship, tranquility and working to live instead of living to work.

raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
brown paper packages wrapped up with strings

Not to mention cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels. And some sort of noodles too, if I recall correctly.

An old family friend once told me that any problem that can be solved with money, isn't a problem.

I think the most valuable thing you can have it the ability to dream, and the courage to chase your dreams.

Obsidian wrote:An old family friend once told me that any problem that can be solved with money, isn't a problem.

I think the most valuable thing you can have it the ability to dream, and the courage to chase your dreams.

I prefer to just live with the ability to dream.
Some dreams can not be fulfilled no matter how strong willed you might be.

Take for example my desire to father a child with some one i have loved for a long time. Unfortunately it isn't possible. Simply because she can no longer mother a child ever since the chemos. However, the dream still remains and still brings to me a profound smile.

Obsidian wrote:An old family friend once told me that any problem that can be solved with money, isn't a problem.

Whereas this statement may hold some truth in our society, it is not true for the majority of the worlds population. Watching your child die from TB because you don't have 25 euro for the medicine, is certainly a problem.

Like most people on this forum, I live in the rich and privilegded part of the world and the materials things we need for survival, like clean water, food, health care, physical safety and housing are taken for granted by most of us. In the society I live in, these essentials are a human right for every citizen so they can be viewed as "prerequisites" for the rest of our lives.

Not counting such basic survival needs, I can't think of anything precious in my life that is material. What would that be? The closest I can come is probably our lab equipment, since it is necessary for conducting the research we are doing, research that is of highest importance for trying to find cures and treatment for brain disease and disorder. That is something I find important and precious.

A lot of things are important and valuable to me, though. Nature, time, science, art, social relationships, many types of experiences...breathing crisp moutain air a bright winter's day, the immense rush of making a new scientific discovery, succeding in communicating with a stranger from a completely different culture, listening to a perfect interpretation of a piece of music I like, the smell of hot desert sand or glacial ice, sharing a joke with a good friend, getting a new idea or insight about something, watching the sky turn black from tens of thousands of migrating birds at dawn...I could mention a thousand things. I consider myself a very lucky person, and I think almost every day about how happy and lucky I am to have the opportunity to experience this and that.
The most important thing for me though, is discoveries. That the driving force of my life. Scientific discoveries and personal discoveries, learning new things and experiencing new things, constantly expaning my frames of reference - that's the most precious in my life.

I feel sorry for all those who feel that nothing in their lives is important or worthwhile, and for those who waste their brief moments on earth by bitterness and hatred.

Very well put, CE

Even dissatisfaction is valuable because through it we can see beyond appearances alone. Also we can help others because we are empathic to dissatisfaction.